Everything In Time
by Nodoubtaboutit18
Summary: AU...Ashley's father gave up the rock star lifestyle and moved Ashley out to Ohio where she meets Spencer.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey everyone, I hope you all like this story. Please review telling me your likes, dislikes, and whatever. I hope you enjoy!**

Ashley held out her hand to Spencer Carlin "Hi I'm Ash--" she was immediately cut off.

"Oh, I know who you are. You are Ashley Davies, the daughter of that famous rock star. You are the ones that bought half the land in this town and now you own about half our businesses too. So trust me I know who you are. You thought you were going to get a spot on this squad? How cute." Spencer put her hand on her hips and the rest of the squad gave a chuckle.

"No, I would never try out for such a heartless cheering squad. I just came over to introduce myself because that teacher said you were the student council president and told me you would help me out finding my classes and stuff...but it looks like that isn't going to be happening." Ashley rolled her eyes and started to walk away.

Spencer scoffed and rolled her eyes. She ran after Ashley and grabbed her arm, "Fine, since it is my duty to welcome new students and help them find their way, I will show you around. But that's as far as this goes. After I am done helping you don't think we are going to be friends or anything."

Ashley smiled and couldn't help but notice how beautiful Spencer was. She looked at her amazing beautiful blue eyes as she spoke to her and watched her tuck a strand of gorgeous blonde hair behind her ear.

Spencer spoke with a tone, "What are you smiling at? You sure are a weird one Ashley Davies." Spencer grabbed the schedule out of Ashley's hand.

"Well since the school day is over, I will help you with your classes and stuff tomorrow. Meet me by the school water fountain in the front, kay?" Spencer said sharply then walked back to cheer leading practice.

Ashley couldn't help but stare at Spencer walking back to the crowd. She stared at how the length of her cheerleading skirt complemented her legs ever so perfectly.

She knew that she certainly didn't belong in the cheerleading squad. Behind those piercing blue eyes was a kinder girl...and somehow Ashley felt the need to get that girl to come out.

Spencer Carlin belonged to the cheerleading squad, she was the student council president, she was gorgeous, and she was the most talked about in school. She always seemed to lack one thing, having the perfect boyfriend. She dated tons of guys on the basketball team, football team, and just plenty of guys. But somehow none of the guys ever stuck. She was never apart of the "couple you wished you were" because she never had a boyfriend.

Spencer Carlin's parents were well known also...it seemed to run in the family. Her mother Paula was the top surgeon of the state, well respected, well renowned. Arthur, her father, was the Senator of the state of Ohio. He always talked about running for president one day, but he hasn't yet. The Carlin family was well respected in their little town of Ohio.

They owned a lot of farmer's land surrounding their house and they had the only house on their road...that is until Ashley Davies moved in. They bought the empty land across from the Carlin's and they built a gigantic mansion directly across from the Carlin's house.

Spencer arrived at home and she threw her books down. "How was your first day, honey?"

"It was fine, mom," Spencer sat on the couch.

"I met our neighbors today. He seems really nice and he has a daughter your age. I saw a picture of her, she's cute and I think you two would make good friends." Her mom yelled from the kitchen as she was preparing dinner.

_What? Good friends? She has got to be kidding...me and her hitting it off as friends, was highly unlikely_. "Yeah right mom." She rolled her eyes.

"What why? Was she mean to you?" Paula said in a baby voice.

"No...she just...just...doesn't seem like she would be my friend. I don't know she just doesn't fit my friend type."

"Give her a chance, Spencer. Her father is a huge contributor to your father's campaign. So try and be nice."

Spencer scoffed at the sound of her father's campaign, "Oh fine. Whatever, I'm going to my room." Spencer walked up the stairs and turned her iPod on shuffle and waited for the first song to start. _Ohio Is For Lovers by Hawthorne Heights_ came on. She always thought about how ironic it was to live in Ohio and hear that song. She laid on her bed flipping through magazines while listening to the song play.

For some reason she couldn't stop thinking about Ashley. The song just sparked an Ashley thought, and it made no sense to why. She only met her once and it wasn't a great first encounter either. She tossed the magazine on the floor and decided to stare at the ceiling. She thought about how beautiful her curly brunette hair was and how a strand of hair just perfectly fell onto her face. Spencer quickly dismissed the thought. _Uhh, I have to stop thinking about girls this way. I can't, it would ruin my dad's reputation...put our family in shame. I can't do that. If they only knew how many girls I had been with. Wow, that sentence made me sound like this huge whore. I've only been with a couple, but I still haven't loved anyone. I tried to date guys put I never felt right...it feels weird. I still date them though, just to keep up with appearances. My mom always expects me out on dates every Friday and Saturday night. She always says, "if_ _you're not out on a date with a boy on the weekends...then you are nobody." So to keep her happy I have to. Gosh._

Ashley was just in her thoughts and she couldn't get her out of her head. _Oh well._ "Time for supper!" Her mother yelled.

She walked down the stairs and headed towards the dining room. "Hi dad."

Spencer's dad came in and kissed her on the cheek as he was loosening his tie. "Hi, honey. How was the first day of school? You make friends with the girl next door? Her father is a big contributor."

All it ever was with Dad was politics. "Yes dad, I will give her a try. If she doesn't end up being a friend, don't get all disappointed."

"How could I ever be disappointed with my all-time favorite daughter?" Her dad smiled and took a sip of his beer.

"I'm your only daughter, you can't say that." Spencer smiled, but knew her dad would never be disappointed in her...unless he knew she was gay...which he would never know.

"Hey! Put that fork down," Paula yelled, "We must say grace first."

Grace was said and then everyone started digging into their food. "So tomorrow is Friday Spencer...please tell me there is a new cute boy in the school you have a date with."

"M--om! Today was the first day in school; can't you give me a weekend off?"

"No, honey. A proper girl who is somebody---"

Spencer cut off her mother, "Always has dates on the weekends, and if you don't you are nobody. Yeah yeah, I get it."

"Don't you take that tone with me. Find a date for Saturday then. We have a function for your dad to attend on Sunday when all the contributors to his campaign come and eat and donate. So, you can bring a date to that also. I will give you Friday off."

Spencer rolled her eyes, "Yeah, well I did have my eye on someone knew, if that makes you happy," Only if they knew that someone knew was Ashley Davies.

"Oooh, you better bring that boy home to meet your father." Arthur said sternly, smiled and continued to eat his food.

"Hey, well great dinner mom. I'm going to go hang out with Brittany and Amber, do you mind?"

"Not at all honey, be back around 11. We don't want you staying out too late on a school night." Her mom said and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Yup, 11. Later." Spencer grabbed her car keys and her purse and jetted out of the house.

She walked outside and saw Ashley standing in her driveway across the street. She rolled her eyes and decided to be nice and wave. Ashley waved back and smiled. "Hey! Hey! Hold up" Ashley yelled from across the street.

Spencer rolled her eyes and got into her car anyways. "Nice car. 2005 Mercedes Benz, how did you score that?"

"It was a sweet 16 birthday present. I didn't even beg, it was a huge surprise...but what do you want? I'm on my way somewhere," Spencer still gave her attitude with every word.

"Oh, I just wanted to say hi and see if you wanted to hang." Ashley felt kind of disappointed because she knew she was going to say no.

"Well, I have plans sorry. I will meet you by the fountain first thing tomorrow, okay?" Spencer took off her sunglasses that were sitting on top of her head and placed them over her eyes. She backed out of the driveway and sped off on the gravel road.

The next day Spencer was leaving for school and was surprised at how she wasn't dreading the fact she had to show Ashley around. She saw Ashley standing by the fountain then she saw her cheerleader friends standing next to her and giggling.

Spencer was confused...but not for long. The cheerleader girls pushed Ashley into the fountain. _Shit,_ Spencer went running towards Ashley. She helped her out of the fountain.

Spencer could see Ashley tearing up, "IS THIS YOUR IDEA OF A JOKE SPENCER?! WELL I'M NOT LAUGHING, I THOUGHT YOU WERE MEAN BUT THIS IS CRUEL." Ashley tried to get out of the fountain but she fell.

Spencer ran over and helped her out of the fountain, "I swear to you, I had nothing to do with this. Come on, I have extra clothes in my locker...well it's my cheerleading outfit, you are gunna have to wear that." Spencer held onto Ashley as they walked into the gym lockers.

"I swear, I didn't have anything to do with that. I'm so sorry and don't worry about them, I'll make 'em pay at practice," Spencer opened up her locker and tossed the outfit at Ashley, "Here. Sorry, it's my only change of clothes, but it's only the second day of school and I haven't put an extra pair of clothes in there yet. Hopefully, your clothes will dry by the end of the day."

Ashley took off her wet shirt and handed it to Spencer, "Thanks for helping...how embarrassing is this? I was pushed into the fountain in front of the whole school that was bad enough...but I have to wear a cheerleading outfit all day at school?" Ashley scoffed and took off her jeans and put on the skirt.

Spencer turned her head but couldn't help but sneak a peak at Ashley's toned body. She bit her lip just looking at it. She hoped Ashley didn't notice. "Well, I'm going to ring these out," Spencer grabbed the clothes and squeezed all the water she could out.

Ashley stood in front of the mirror and twirled around in the skirt and started laughing. "Wow, I look so ridiculous in this cheerleading outfit. I look ... not like myself, that's for sure."

"Hey I'm gunna throw these in my locker and hopefully they dry. If not, you can wear my cheerleading outfit home." Spencer smiled and locked her locker back up.

"Let's get you to class, I promised you that, and I never break a promise." Somehow Spencer couldn't stop smiling and felt as if she was warming up to Ashley.

Ashley smiled and saw the kind, sweet girl, that was hidden behind those piercing blue eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Since I forgot this before, I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING! **

**A/N: Thank you for all of your reviews. I hope you enjoy this update!**

"What's up with you Spencer? You have been acting weird all day and you are hanging out with that...that Ashley girl. You let her borrow your outfit! Me and squad are concerned," Brittany said with her hands on her hips as a couple girls from the squad stood behind her.

Spencer rolled her eyes, "I haven't been acting weird at all, and I have no idea what you two are suggesting. But I am the student council president and I HAVE to show the new people around. I'm just helping her out finding her classes, all right?" Spencer started to walk away, "I don't see it's any of your business if I had a new friend anyways. See you at practice." Spencer smirked and walked way.

She saw Ashley sitting at a lunch table by herself and decided to take a seat next to her.

"I recall a certain someone saying, not to expect to become friends with you," Ashley smiled as the swirled her spoon around in her pudding.

"Yeah yeah, don't take everything I say so close to heart. My friends...aren't acting like friends today, so I'm going to sit next to you." Spencer smiled and picked at Ashley's french fries.

"So how do you like it here so far? I see you are still in my cheerleading outfit." Spencer said as she moved the hair out of her face.

"Uhh, well I don't know. There was this stuck up cheerleader who was pretty mean to me on my first day," Ashley smiled and gave out a laugh.

Spencer looked at Ashley trying not to find it funny. She finally let out a smile, "Yeah well, I don't know who that could have been. She won't do it again. Ashley Davies, you don't seem too bad after all."

"I didn't think so either," Ashley took a bite of her pudding.

"Oh, my parents want to meet ya. They talked to your dad and saw they had a kid so they want to meet you. Come by later?" Spencer looked into Ashley's eyes.

"Of course, hey think you can give me a lift home?"

"Sure, uh just meet me by my car once the bell rings. You know what it looks like. Oh, hey I will catch up with you later, I see this cute boy that I have to snag a date with. Laters," Spencer jumped out of the chair and ran after the boy and caught up with him.

Ashley was dumbfounded. _Cute boy? Cute boy? I don't know why I was so upset thinking about Spencer talking to a boy she wants to date. This is just weird, plain odd. Maybe I was reading mixed signals. I knew there was a kind, sweet girl behind those blue eyes. I just need to get it out of her...she is finally opening up her real self, I just need to push her some more. Damnit, I didn't even finish my lunch and the bell just rang._

Ashley threw her left over lunch into the garbage can and headed to her next class. She hasn't had any luck making friends in any of her classes today, but she was excited for this class. _This class had Spencer in it_. At least she had someone she knew she could talk to.

Ashley pranced into the room and smiled at the sight of Spencer. She gave a light wave and headed towards Spencer. Spencer waved at her to come sit down next to her. "Hey Ash, these are friends of mine and I think you guys would get along. This is Chuck and this one is Jane...they are really into music and pretty down to earth. Seems like you guys would make good friends."

"Uh thanks? Hey, Chuck and Jane. I'm Ashley I just moved out here from L.A." Ashley smiled and tried to make the best out of the situation.

"Hey sit, sit down. I am going to sit by Brittany and Amber we have cheers to talk about and student council stuff. So hey, have fun with your new friends," Spencer smiled and quickly walked away. She acted as if she wasn't interested in talking to Ashley at all.

Ashley felt slightly offended that Spencer was shoving her off onto other people. She felt as if Spencer was trying to get rid of her. She smiled and talked to the Chuck and Jane. It turned out they all got along and Spencer was right. They talked about music, movies, and just about anything. Ashley felt as if they had been friends for weeks instead of a couple of minutes. Ashley smiled and figured Spencer was just helping her out.

Throughout the class, Spencer could barely pay attention. She caught herself looking at Ashley constantly. She looked at her legs and how perfect they looked in her cheerleading skirt. She looked at her perfect curly hair and the way she brushed it behind her ear. Spencer smiled at the thought of kissing her thin ever-so-soft lips.

She saw Ashley turn and look at her and she quickly darted her attention at someone else. _Shit, she just caught me looking. Damnit, she is going to wonder why I stare at her all the time. Maybe because she is so damn gorgeous. I just feel this strange connection every time I am around her. My heart skips a beat and I feel as if I am on the verge of blushing every time she speaks. Snap out of it Spencer_!

"Spencer Carlin?" The teacher announced.

"Present." Spencer heard the rest of the class chuckle. She looked around the room and saw everyone laughing and realized she must have said something wrong.

"Present?" The teacher asked with one hand on his hip, "That wasn't the question. Were you paying attention at all? The question was if you could go back in time and change one event in history what would you change?"

_Oh God, how I hate history. Why did he pick me, save me bell, save me. Damnit, we have fifteen more minutes of class. I have to think of an answer_.

"Well...?" I heard the impatience in his tone.

_All right Spencer, compose yourself_, "I would not change one event in history. Everything happened for a reason, and if I changed an event that I particularly disliked it could change everything else. It would be a domino effect. I may not exist today if I changed an event in history. So I would leave history like it is...untouched." Spencer looked at the teacher with her confident stare and gave him a smirk.

The teacher was blown away by the answer, "Well, good answer. I'm surprised. Every year I have a student tell me they would change Kennedy's assassination. I am glad you have a different answer. All right next---" The teacher continued talking but Spencer droned him out.

She felt as if someone was staring at her, she had one of those feelings. So she looked around the room and smiled at the fact that it was Ashley. Ashley smiled back at her, and then quickly went back to doodling on her paper. The bell finally rang and they headed out the door.

Spencer was the first one out the door and waited for Ashley to come out. "Hey, I forgot I have to go to practice today. I can give you a ride home...but you would have to wait at practice."

"I don't mind, I can wait at practice for you to finish," Ashley smiled.

"All right. Oh shit, hey come to the lockers with me, I need my outfit."

Ashley looked down at her clothes, "Wow, I forgot I was even wearing this. How sad is that?" Ashley laughed and followed behind Spencer.

Spencer called the attention of the locker room, "Ladies, can we be civilized or nice to Ashley?" Spencer gave her you-better-or-you-will-regret-it-stares to the rest of the cheer squad.

"Yeah, fine. Doesn't mean we have to like her," Amber shouted out and the rest of the girls laughed.

"There, the war is over between you and us. So they aren't going to be your friends but they won't push you into any more fountains." Spencer smiled started undressing.

"Damnit, you're clothes are still wet Ash. Here just switch with what I am wearing," Spencer handed Ashley her t-shirt and vise versa.

Spencer stared at the beautiful red bra that Ashley filled out ever so perfectly. "Yeah so, here are my jeans. And I need my skirt," Spencer pointed and Ashley flung off the skirt and handed it to her.

"Thanks for lending this to me," Ashley smiled as she was putting on the jeans.

"Hey, it was the least I could do. Time for practice. We should be done around 4:30, but I'll try and let out early."

Ashley followed Spencer out and sat on the bleachers. Ashley kept her eye on Spencer the entire practice. Every high kick, every move, every hip pop she did, Ashley was watching. She could see her piercing blue eyes gaze over at her every once in a while and it made her smile. _She looked so unhappy during cheerleading practice but during the minutes she looked over at me it felt as if she was in serenity._ _I hope I was the cause of that happiness behind those beautiful blue eyes._

Practice was over and Spencer headed over to Ashley. She was slightly out of breath and she took a sip out of her water bottle, "Hey ready to go home? Or well come over?" She said taking breaths between every couple of words.

"You betcha, don't know how much longer I could watch cheer practice," Truth was Ashley could of watched Spencer all day long, but she didn't want to let her know that.

"Well, let's head to the car." Spencer picked up her gym bag and headed towards the car. They both hopped in and drove back to the Carlin's.

"Empty driveway, is anyone home?" Ashley said as she got up out of the car.

"Damn, nope. I bet my mom got called into the hospital and well, dad he is always at the office. You can still come in if you want," Spencer was surprised that last part came out of her mouth.

"Cool, oh, do you want your clothes back right away?" Ashley tugged on the shirt she was wearing.

"Naw, it's cool. I got plenty of clothes come on in. I need to get out of this cheerleading outfit though. Lately, I have been itching in this outfit." Spencer unlocked her door as she had her head turned looking at Ashley.

"Lately? Didn't school just start?" Ashley was confused.

"Yeah it did, but we had to start practicing about three weeks ago...'cause our first football game is next Friday and we had to be prepared."

"Welcome to my casa!" Spencer spread her arms out and twirled in a circle. She laughed and then skipped up the stairs to her room, "Hey, you gonna stay down there all day? Or are you gunna come into my room?"

Ashley stood by the front door and then finally made her way up the stairs. "Right, my bad."

Ashley looked around the room and didn't expect her room to look like it did. "I'm not going to lie, Spence, I expected pink walls and pink furry stuffed animals around your room."

"Yeah, you would be surprised once you get to know me. This mural here, I painted it myself." The mural Spencer pointed to was terrific, not one mistake. The wall was once fully red and you could see the outlines of red around her painting. It was a fallen angel that was kneeling down. It wasn't a white angel; it was wearing all black, filled with despair. There was a glistening tear falling from one of her eyes. Ashley was amazed at the painting.

"Wow Spencer, that painting is full of angst and emotion. I really love it. You have to come paint my room...like now." Ashley laughed and walked around the rest of the room. Checking out picture frames, cd's lying around, and flipped through her movie collection. Ashley noticed they had a lot in common.

Spencer threw on a pair of jeans and a vintage Lynyrd Skynyrd tee. She hopped on the bed. Ashley soon followed and sat across from her.

They continued to smile at each other, not really knowing what to say. _I always have something to say, this is unlike you Spencer. Say something, anything. I can't take this awkward silence anymore. _

Spencer stared at Ashley fiddling with her hands, she was so cute. "Uh, here's a magazine," Spencer handed her the latest issue of Cosmo, "It has some really good tips on how to please your man," Spencer chuckled and grabbed her other magazine.

Spencer aimlessly flipped through her magazine but her eyes were really on Ashley the entire time. Ashley seemed to be into her magazine, but when Spencer wasn't looking Ashley admired her gorgeous blonde hair and how it perfectly fell into place.

Spencer looked at Ashley's lips, she so badly want to kiss them. Ashley looked up at Spencer and all Spencer could do was to gaze into her eyes. Ashley started to talk, "Hey look at these shoes---"

Ashley was cut off by Spencer lunging over and kissing Ashley right on the lips. Spencer held the kiss for as long as possible, she held her eyes tight, and everything she imagined the kiss would feel like...it felt even better than that.

Spencer leaned out from the kiss and looked up at Ashley. Ashley was speechless. She looked into those piercing blue eyes, that weren't so piercing anymore. They were gentle, calming, welcoming, and she just wanted to look into her blue eyes more.

Spencer couldn't take the silence; she figured Ashley did not feel the same way about her. "I'm sor--"

This time Spencer was cut off and Ashley lunged over and pushed Spencer flat on her back. Ashley took Spencer's head in her hands and gazed into her eyes. Spencer couldn't stop smiling, she felt so emotional, so connected to Ashley. _She wanted her._

Ashley leaned in and passionately kissed Spencer. Their lips touched and Spencer swear she felt a static shock every time their lips met. Her body gave in every time Ashley's hand would stroke her sides. Ashley moved from Spencer's lips down to her neck. Spencer's weak spot. She moaned every time she felt a nibble on her neck, she felt her warm tongue touch her neck and it made her weak.

Ashley looked up at Spencer and kissed her on the lips. All of a sudden, Ashley stopped, "I'm sorry...I have to--" And there she went.

Spencer immediately sprung up on her bed. "Ashely! Wait!" Spencer slammed her head onto her pillow, _Damnit what the fuck did I do? Uhh, run after her...go. But what if she doesn't want me to? What if she felt as if she made a mistake? Just...go. _

Spencer ran out of the house and grabbed the purse Ashley left. She ran across the street and rang the doorbell.

She rang it **again.**

And** Again.**

**No Answer.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I know it has been like crazy update day… I just had a lot of ideas and wanted to write them all down before I forgot. If anyone else is reading my other story Beautiful Disaster…I am going to try and update just as often but I am kind of having writer's block on that story.**

**Thanks for all the reviews, I will start giving personally shout outs next chapter. **

**Enough of my talking…enjoy!**

_Finally, someone answered the door._ Spencer was determined for someone to answer it. She wasn't leaving until she got an explanation from Ashley.

The door opened and before Spencer's eyes was an unfamiliar face.

"So, you are the girl who has been ringing my door bell non-stop for the past five minutes...who are you?"

Spencer just stared in confusion, "Who are you? I am Ashley's friend and she forgot her purse at my house..."

"I'm Ashley's brother Kyle. I--"

Spencer cut him off; she was too surprised and freaked out. "You're what? Who? She never mentioned you."

"That doesn't surprise me. She doesn't like me too much. I was living with my mom, but I decided to finally get to know my dad and move out here with him. Since your Ashley's friend you must go to the school." He smirked and looked Spencer up and down.

Spencer could see him ogling over her, boys were way too predictable. "Yes," Spencer let her confidence shine, "Head cheerleader, student council president, you know since you are a new student...I can" Spencer looked Kyle up and down as he watched her, "show you around." Spencer smiled and twirled her hair.

"I'd like that. Cheerleader...that's perfect, I am starting as the head quarterback this season. You're the head cheerleader; I'm the star athlete..."

Spencer gave him a flirtatious punch, "Let's not get ahead of yourself."

With all the flirting Spencer was doing she didn't notice Ashley watching from atop of the stairs. She just was used to always flirting with boys. If she saw a boy that was cute, or her mother would think was cute and decent, she just automatically turned her flirting on and prepared to go on dates.

She felt bad that Ashley had to watch her flirt with Kyle...she didn't know what to do. She realized what she needed to do.

"Sorry to cut this short Kyle...here's my number. I need to talk to Ashley, that's who I came for and all. I'll show myself to her room...which is?" Spencer peeked around the front door.

"Up the stairs and to the right, you will find it." Kyle stared at Spencer walk up the stairs; she could practically hear him licking his lips.

Spencer knocked on the door...and again. She finally heard a faint voice emerge, "Go Away."

"No. I'm coming in, whether you like it or not," Spencer twisted the door handle and pranced right on in.

"What the hell is up Ash? One minute we are in this amazing lip-lock and the next---I'm running across the street," Spencer paused, "By the way you left this." Spencer threw her purse down on the floor.

"I don't know...why don't you ask Kyle. You seemed pretty cozy down there." Ashley held onto her pillow refusing to look at Spencer in the eyes.

"Don't be like that Ash. Don't get all jealous, I did what I always do with guys. Flirt. It's not a big deal. What the big deal here is...you running out on me like I pulled out a knife and starting stabbing you. Tell me what's up," Spencer was concerned about Ashley. She sat next to her on the bed and gently rubbed her back.

Ashley felt instantly soothed by her touch _and Spencer knew it. _Spencer loved touching Ashley; even though they just met two days ago...she knew there was something special in store for those two.

"Talk to me, we can't fix whatever you feel is wrong, unless we talk about it," Whatever Spencer said to Ashley it always seemed to be the right words.

"Spence---I--I have never been with a girl before. I mean---I have been below the belt line. I know we have this strange connection between us that feels so right but so wrong in the best way possible," Ashley paused.

Spencer knelt in front of Ashley so they would be looking face to face, "Hey, I completely understand Ashley. I know there is a connection between us, I feel it. I--"

Ashley cut off Spencer, "I just want my first time to be special, mean something, I just don't want it to be...like what we were doing before. We haven't known each other that long, and I'm scared around you already. I feel ... I just want to take it slow." Ashley looked at her lap, somewhat ashamed and embarrassed by what she said.

Spencer lifted up her chin, "Hey no need to be shy about it. Taking it slow is what I am all about. I don't know how long I can help myself around you. I feel weak at the knees when I am around you, you are just so gorgeous, I want to kiss you _here,"_ Spencer put her finger on Ashley's lips, "_and here,"_ Spencer put her finger on Ashley's neck, "_And here,"_ Spencer put her finger on Ashley's stomach.

She could feel Ashley's heart racing. She put her hand on Ashley's chest, "I feel your heart beating fast. Feel mine." Spencer took Ashley's hand and placed it over her heart.

Ashley smiled; it felt as if their hearts were beating the same pace, at the exact same time. Ashley smiled and leaned in and kissed Spencer on the lips. _Why do I like her so much? I have only known her for two days. This is so weird, I'm scared. I feel as if this girl could break my heart...and I have never leant my heart to anyone_. Spencer smiled and shook the thought out of head.

"Ash, stop." Spencer pushed away from the kiss, "I thought you wanted it slow? My shirt is already half way off," Spencer chuckled.

"I know, but I want you." Ashley kissed Spencer's belly and made her way up to her lips...locking them together. Their soft lips caressed each other's lips and soft moans came from both. Spencer smiled and sat up on her elbows, "I thought I would have been the one straddling you."

"Shit, my mom is calling." Spencer took her cell phone out of her back pocket, "Hi, mom. Don't freak out, mom. I'm at the neighbors house, Ashley's...ya know? Fine fine, I'll be home soon. Okay fine...I will ask." _Click._

Spencer's mom told her to ask Ashley over for dinner. Spencer and Ashley could barely stop kissing; Spencer could barely get out the words.

Their conversation went like this.

Ashley. _Kiss._ My Mom. _Kiss._ Wants. _Kiss._ To Know. _Kiss. Kiss._ If you want to. _Kiss._ Come over. _Kiss_. For dinner.

Ashley put her hand in between her and Spencer's lips, "I'd love to."

"Well we have to go...my mom is freaking out I wasn't home but my car was." Spencer walked over to her mirror and made sure her lip gloss wasn't smeared.

"You don't have to check yourself out in the mirror, you're perfect, gorgeous." Ashley walked over Spencer and gave her a hug from behind and rested her head in Spencer's shoulder.

Spencer turned around so they where face to face. Ashley was relieved to stare into those beautiful blue eyes and know that Spencer was letting her in.

Spencer gave Ashley one final kiss, "We gotta get going." Spencer grabbed Ashley's hand and dragged her out of the house.

_I let go of Ashley's hand as soon as left the confined spaces of the walls. No one could know. __**No one.**_

"Hi mom! We are here." Spencer yelled as she slammed the door behind Ashley.

"Your father is going to be home any second. I don't have much time, I have another surgery in an hour," Paula walked in the hallway and kissed Spencer on the cheek.

"Hello, Ashley. I am so glad I finally get to meet you. You're dad has such great things to say about you, come, sit, eat." Paula dragged Ashley into the dinning room and pulled out her chair for her.

"You have a lovely home, Mrs. Carlin." Ashley said smiling as she scooted in her chair.

"I'm late, I'm late. Sorry my two beautiful girls," Arthur walked in and kissed his wife on the lips and Spencer on the forehead. "Who do we have here?"

"Ashley, she is the girl from across the street. Sit down, time to say grace." Paula said grace as usual and it was time to start digging in.

"So Spencer, please tell me you have a date for this weekend and for our function on Sunday," Paula said sternly as she held her fork in her hand.

Spencer rolled her eyes and knew this sentence was going to hurt Ashley's feelings...a lot.

"Actually, Ashley has a brother that flew in today. His name is Kyle and he is really cute, nice, and you are going to love him mom. And I will bring him home to meet you."

Spencer tried not to make eye contact with Ashley, but she had to. She saw the devastated look on Ashley's face and Spencer's heart sunk.

"I am so proud of you Spencer! There's a rule in this house, if you aren't out on the weekends, you are a nobody. And with Spencer as your friend Ashley...trust me you aren't a nobody anymore," Paula was overly proud of her daughter and thought so highly of her.

_Only if she knew._

Ashley smiled and wasn't sure what to say, "Oh, I uh...well I'm glad."

Spencer played with her food and suddenly lost her appetite. She looked up at Ashley and saw that beautiful smile no longer on her face.

"Ooh, I am getting beeped back to the hospital."

"I have to get back to the office too. Nice meeting you Ashley...looking forward to seeing you often." Paula and Arthur jetted out the door.

"Welcome to my life. I rarely see my parents, we just put on a good front for politic sake," After Spencer got that out; she realized Ashley wasn't looking at her.

_Damnit, why couldn't I have said nothing about Kyle to my mom? I didn't want to make my mom upset, she always expects me out with a boy. But in the process of not upsetting my mom, I hurt Ashley. _

"You like him don't you?" Ashley shot out.

"Oh, finally some attitude out of you. No, I don't. But you have to realize this, I have to date guys, mom my expects it. She wants a guy over every weekend. No one can no I am gay, it will ruin my dad's campaign and career. The thing that hurts the most is that, my dad is against gay marriage. But whatever, I just---can't. We can be together Ashley, be a couple, if we ever get there...but I can't be out...at least not for now."

Ashley looked up at Spencer and smiled her smile. She hated how everything that Spencer said was always so right, "I understand, but if we become a couple Spencer. I expect you not to date anyone...we don't have to worry about this for now."

"Come upstairs with me, I just want to lie next to you." Spencer held Ashley's hand as she took her up the stairs.

Spencer lay next to Ashley as she held her in her arms. They both thought the same thought as they laid in each other's arms.

_This_. Felt. _Perfect._


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Here's the update I hope you all enjoy! There should be another chapter up by tonight. Thank you for all reviewing I really appreciate it! To all those that said I got you hooked, I'm glad…that makes me so happy. Well once again, enjoy!**

**Intoxicated Violence: I get what you mean, both parents are whores. Arthur can't be the good guy all the time.**

**Dawniekey: I haven't thought that far ahead yet. It's sad that he is against gay marriage, but once he does find out…will he change his mind? I dunno, what do you think?**

It was Sunday and it was time for Spencer to walk across the street and grab her date.

_That date, wasn't Ashley_. She wanted to take Ashley more than anything, but she couldn't. She had to go get Kyle. Spencer hated these functions that she was forced to attend. All she ever did was eat dry chicken and make small talk with all the contributors. To her it was so boring.

With every step towards the Davies' house came a dreadful feeling, with every step, her heart sunk. She prayed Ashley wouldn't answer the door. Her knuckles touched the door. _No, don't do it. You can still walk away and tell mom that he didn't feel well. Just move your feet, just walk away_.

Spencer started to walk away but she heard a sweet, gentle voice emerge, "Spencer?" Ashley said confused, "You're all dressed up, where are we going?"

Spencer froze. _Maybe if I just pretended I was a mute, I didn't have to answer her. I didn't think she was going to be home today, I didn't want to break the news to her._

"I--uh," Spencer didn't feel confident. She didn't feel proud. She felt the exact opposite.

Kyle adjusted his tie and pushed Ashley over to the side, "Ready to go gorgeous?" He said it with a smile; he couldn't tell how unhappy Spencer looked.

Spencer had to snap out of it, she had to. "Well, don't you clean up nice." She said it with a smile.

"I'll take that as a compliment. Hey Ash, tell dad I won't be back 'till late," Kyle smiled, gave a confident wink at Ashley, and put his hand on Spencer's back and directed them towards the house.

Ashley stood in the door way. She was speechless. She was upset. She was hurt. Spencer did not say one word to her. She just walked away with Kyle.

Spencer looked over her shoulder and back at Ashley. She knew she did the wrong thing by not saying anything to her, just leaving her in the dust. _I'm so stupid; I should have at least told her. She has to understand, she was at dinner with my mom the other night. She knows the pressure I am under and she knew I had to find a date to this function. She looks so heart broken back there. Just go back...explain. _

Spencer didn't go back and talk to Ashley, she regretted her choice. But she was already standing in front of her parents with Kyle.

"Oh! Don't you two make such a cute couple! He's a keeper!" Paula jumped with joy and clapped her hands.

Spencer resisted to roll her eyes and leaned in to hear Kyle whisper to her, "Hear that? I'm a keeper."

Spencer liked his self-confidence. It was re-assuring knowing there was someone out there that was just as confident as she was. But she didn't feel like it at the moment. Her current thought was, Ashley.

They all drove in the same car. In Arthur's range rover. Kyle was in the back seat with Spencer and he had his hand on Spencer's leg. He kept caressing her thigh. She smiled and just held his hand.

The only way she is going to get through this night without feeling incredibly horrible is pretending Kyle was Ashley. Pretending that the hand touching her leg _was Ashley's._ Pretending that those eye's that were ogling over her, _was Ashley's_. It made her feel better for a split second, until Kyle spoke to her. Then she realized no one could be Ashley.

"We are here, beautiful. You seem awfully quiet tonight, something up?" Kyle said scrunching his eyebrows with concern in his voice.

"Nope, nothing. Just didn't have much to say," Spencer figured someone would notice she isn't acting like herself.

Spencer is confident, outgoing, talkative, and funny. She didn't feel like any of those when she wasn't around Ashley.

Her father spoke at the podium and she stood behind him with her mom. She looked into the audience wishing she saw a familiar face that she has grown to love...but of course she didn't. _Ashley wasn't coming, Ashley couldn't come._

Arthur spoke whatever words he needed to say to assure his audience was going to pay out big. Spencer knew the routine, _smile, look confident, but also inviting_. Her mother spoke those words to her before every appearance on stage.

"And my beautiful daughter would like a few words before we start our meal."

_Did I hear that right? We didn't go over me making a speech. Shit, damnit, shit. All right Spencer, smile, be brief. Just don't stand here, use those legs God gave you. _

The audience was clapping waiting for Spencer to walk up the podium. Arthur was clapping and waving her over to the podium. Everyone was waiting.

"Thank you all for coming out here to support my father and may I say one of the best senators that has ever walked this state!" Spencer smiled she knew she had pulled through and made a good one-liner speech. The audience was standing up and clapping for her. "Enjoy the dinner and once again thank you all for coming out!"

She smiled and repeated the last two words she said in her head, _coming out_.

_Ha, I wish I could do that. But nooo, dad and his stuck up supporters wouldn't like that. Wonder if I came out tonight..._

_Everyone clapped and we all walked back to our reserved table. Dad, Mom, Kyle, Me, and some huge supporters were sitting with us. I was forced to make boring small talk all night, I wasn't up for it. _

The night went with Arthur making his rounds at the tables. He would smile a cheesy smile, make jokes, pat people on the back, shake hands, do the normal duty of meet and greets.

Spencer sat at her table poking at her chicken. She was bored but she was used to that at these events. She didn't want to be there, but she was used to that too. She wasn't with Ashley, _she wasn't used to that._

Kyle kept his hand on Spencer all night. He either hand his hand on her leg, around her shoulder, or they were holding hands under the table. Spencer tried to feel comforted by his gentle touch, but it wasn't the same.

She heard a comment at the table, "And those gays want to get married. Isn't that something? We should just let them all out to hang--" The rest Spencer just droned out, she was getting mad. Not as much upsetting and yearning over Ashley, she was just plain mad now. All the men laughed at whatever gay joke they made.

Spencer pounded her fist on the table, "I'm GAY, I'm GAY!" _Oh my god, I did it, I just said it out loud. Kyle heard, why are they all smiling and laughing. My mom heard but she is smiling. I thought I said it..._

The table laughs, "Of course you are honey. We are all gay! We are sooo happy to be here, drinking with your father!" One of men put up his beer and said "cheers" and the rest of the table clinked their drinks.

Spencer laughed with them and just pretended it was all a joke. It felt good at least saying it out loud. _At least I know I can say those words out loud and be proud of it_.

Spencer didn't get to come out that night. But that night proved to her that she can say those words out loud and some day soon she was going to...and mean it.

The dinner was over and everyone headed home. As they pulled into the Carlin's driveway, Ashley was sitting on their door stoop waiting for Spencer.

The headlights shined on Ashley and she flinched, you could see the tear stains down her cheek.

Spencer smiled at the sight of Ashley but as soon as she saw her condition that smile faded.

"I had a great night Spencer; you want to do this again sometime?" Kyle said with a smile as they were holding hands.

"Sure, I'd love to," Spencer gave a half-hearted smile glancing over at Ashley. She needed to get rid of Kyle…fast.

"Great, night." Kyle didn't see Ashley sitting on the door stoop nor would he care if he did. He leaned and went for the kiss. Spencer immediately turned and gave him the cheek.

Kyle looked confused and Spencer quickly came up with an excuse.

"My parents are right there," She pointed, "Night Kyle." Kyle walked across the street and went home.

Spencer's parents went into the house and she remained outside. She sat down next to Ashley and rubbed her back.

"You don't get to comfort me Spencer," Ashley sounded infuriated.

"Well, if you tell me what's wrong I could," Spencer smiled and moved her hand from her back. She picked up Ashley's hand and held it.

"You, Spencer. You went out with my brother tonight, how messed up is that?" Ashley didn't even give Spencer a time to respond and she continued talking, "It's very messed up! And the worst thing about it is, you didn't even have the guts to tell me to my face." Ashley sat there. She so badly wanted to take her hand back from Spencer, but it felt so perfect and safe.

"I'm sorry. I know I suck. My parents expect this out of me. A normal girl going out on dates with guys, bringing home a boyfriend...this is what they want." Spencer sat still looking at Ashley.

"Spencer...I can't do this."

Spencer felt tears forming, "Do what?"

"This. If I have to watch you go out with guys, especially if my brother is one of them, I can't watch you do that. I really like you Spencer and we have this unbeatable connection. But I cannot sit here and watch you go out with every guy in the school." Ashley looked in her lap, still clutching onto Spencer's hand.

"My parents expect---"

Ashley cut off Spencer, let go of her hand, and started to walk away.

Ashley turned around, "Don't give me that bullshit. Your parents expect that out of you. The truth is your scared and dating those guys is your safe zone. You don't have to date them, you know. Your mom isn't going to shun you if do. But if you want to date those guys then fine go ahead. But I won't be around to watch." Ashley started to walk away towards the street.

"Don't walk away from me! I want you Ashley. I want you. I need you. Are those the words you want to hear? I'm not scared to be with you. If I was, I wouldn't be fighting this hard to be with you," Spencer walked over to Ashley and hugged her from behind. Ashley could feel Spencer's tears falling on her shoulders.

Ashley turned around so they are face to face, "I want to be with you Spencer. I want it to be just you and me. Not you and Kyle and then me. It doesn't work that way."

Spencer cried and let go of Ashley. "You know I can't give that up---You know what you signed up for, I told you. You saw my mom at the dinner table the other night. Why can't you understand?"

Ashley was shocked and disappointed. Those were not the words she wanted to hear. "Spencer, when you figure out what you want...I'll be waiting." Ashley started walking across the street.

"I let you in Ashley. I let you in, I have never done that before. You can't walk away from me." Spencer stood firm.

"Yes I can, and I will. It doesn't mean that I want to. I am asking you to give up one thing, _one._ The one thing you don't even enjoy! I cannot be your girlfriend and watch you date guys. You can't have the best of both worlds. Think it over Spencer. You know where I stand," Ashley walked across the street.

Spencer didn't follow. She fell to the ground and sat there. She held her knees to her chest and wept.

Ashley watched Spencer from her bedroom window. It hurt her more than anything, to know that she caused Spencer's tears. She so badly wanted to run back out there, give her a kiss on the lips, and hold her like everything is fine. But Ashley knew if she didn't make a stand about this, she would always be chosen second. And Ashley was nobody's second choice.

Spencer looked up at Ashley's window and sighed. She didn't like dating boys, she didn't want to_...but why couldn't I stop? It was one simple thing she asked from me and I couldn't do it. I need too. What can my mom do if I stop going out on weekends?_ **Nothing.** _What can my mom do if I stop bringing home boys?_ **Nothing.** _What can my mom do if she found out I was falling for Ashley? _**Everything.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews. I hope you continue reading and I hope you enjoy this update! I should post another chapter tomorrow…and maybe if you're lucky by tonight. Again...enjoy!**

Spencer lived without Ashley before she can do it again. Or at least that is what she told herself.

It was only the morning after they had their argument, but she needed to speak to her, be next to her, feel her, see her.

It was Monday morning and it was time for school. Spencer walked outside to her car and she couldn't help but glance over at Ashley's house. She saw Ashley, her heart sunk. She wanted to walk over there and see if she wanted to catch a ride with her. _Should I?_

Her feet felt glued to the concrete and her eyes were glued on Ashley. She saw Ashley clutching onto the door handle to her brother's car. They made eye contact; they were thinking the same thing. They both wanted each other so bad; you could see it that far away.

Ashley let go of the door handle and inched her way towards Spencer. Spencer smiled, she started blushing. Kyle came walking out and yelled "hey Spencer!" and waved. Spencer waved back and smiled. _Bad Idea._

Ashley saw her wave and smile. Ashley stopped in her tracks and briskly walked back to the car, opened up the door, glared at Spencer, hopped in, and slammed it shut.

Kyle ran over to Spencer's house. "Hey, you wanna catch a ride with me today?"

"Nope. I have stuff to do after school; I can take care of myself." Spencer acted cold towards him; she knew she couldn't lead him on anymore. Watching Ashley get upset made her heart drop, she knew what decision she had to make.

Spencer hopped in the car and sped off leaving Kyle alone in her driveway. Kyle was confused by Spencer's actions, but he figured she was playing hard to get and shrugged it off like any guy would.

Spencer walked into school like nothing happened. She put on a face for her friends, so they wouldn't ask why she was upset. She couldn't have that, plus she didn't want to lie more than she already has to. It was better that she just put on a face and acted happy.

She hung out with her group of cheerleading friends in front of the school before the bell rang. Ashley drove up with her brother and saw Spencer. Spencer looked out of the corner of her eye at Ashley.

Ashley held her books tightly to her chest and stared at the floor. She refused to make eye contact with Spencer. She wasn't going to look at how happy she was acting. She didn't want to be apart of her fake life. So she stared at the concrete and walked to her class.

Spencer continued to laugh with her friends and smile. But on the inside, watching Ashley not make eye contact with her was killing her. _She had to talk to her_; she needed to hear that sweet voice she became so attached to.

The bell rang and she was off to class. The day went by and neither girl paid attention in any of their classes. It was lunch time and Ashley was sitting alone. Spencer sat at her usual lunch table but all she could do was stare at Ashley.

Ashley could feel her looking at her. _I'm not giving in; I am not making eye contact. She can stare at me with her beautiful blue eyes all she wants._

Spencer couldn't take the silence anymore. It was less than a day of talking to Ashley, but she couldn't take the tension anymore. "I'll be back guys," Spencer said to her table and left.

Ashley saw out of the corner of her eye Spencer walking towards her. She tried to hide her smile, but that's all she wanted to do around her.

"Ashley, how's it going?" Spencer wanted to just make small talk first. She wanted to see if Ashley would even talk to her.

"You tell me. There is this girl I really like and we have a great time when we are together. The only problem is, she doesn't want me and she wants to date other guys." Ashley said while looking at Spencer in the eyes.

_Spencer knew exactly what she had to say, what she had to do._

"Well, sounds like that girl is scared," Spencer looked at her lap.

Ashley smiled and picked up her chin to look at her in the eyes. They smiled at each other once their eyes met.

"I'm sorry Ashley. I was just scared; I didn't know I could fall for someone so fast. I am willing to give up anything for you. I want to be with you and only you," Spencer smiled and so badly wanted to kiss her.

Ashley's eyes lit up and she grinned. "That's all I wanted to hear Spencer. I'm not asking you to come out to your parents; I just want it to be us and only us. Come over later?" Ashley wanted to jump on top of Spencer she wanted her so bad.

"You want a lift home---damn I have cheer practice. I'll just come over later." Spencer smiled and started getting up to walk away.

"You're not staying?" Ashley felt somewhat hurt.

"I--I uh, I have to get back to my group. Sorry? I'll make it up to you later?" Spencer grinned; _boy did she want to make it up to her._

Ashley couldn't help but smile. "Hey, I have to wait anyways 'cause my brother has football practice. So I'll just wait for you to get out and hitch a ride with you."

"Sounds good, but hey can you wait out by my car? I'll be out by 4:30. The girls and I are having a closed practice; we don't want anyone stealing out cheer ideas."

Ashley let out a laugh, "That's uh--wow. All right."

"Making fun of me Davies? You'll pay for that later." Spencer went to lean in for a goodbye kiss, but she realized she was in public. _Shit, I hope no one saw that_.

"I really have to go now, Ash." Spencer quickly walked back to her group table.

Ashley sat at her table and watched Spencer walk away. Ashley knew she wasn't walking away _from_ her, just _to_ a different life.

School was let out and cheer practice was over. Spencer came walking out to the car and she couldn't stop smiling. Ashley was sitting on the curb next to her car reading a magazine. "Hey, ready to get goin'?" Spencer asked as she threw her gym back in the back seat.

"You bet. It was getting lonely out here without you," Ashley smiled and got in the passenger seat.

Spencer started the car and they drove away. "You hungry?"

"Naw, I'm good. I just wanna spend some alone time with you." Ashley grinned.

"You can say that again," Spencer put her hand on Ashley's thigh and Ashley grabbed a hold of it.

They looked over at each other and smiled. Every time they were together it was great. They never wanted to stop smiling or stop touching.

Spencer pulled into her driveway and they both walked over to Ashley's house. They walked quickly up to Ashley's room. "We have the house to ourselves, isn't that great?" Ashley grinned and jumped on her bed. She looked at the spot she wanted Spencer to sit in.

Spencer plopped down on the bed next to her. Ashley looked at Spencer's beautiful blue eyes and saw a stray strand of hair on her face. She gently moved it and tucked it behind her ear. Ashley admired how gorgeous Spencer was. Her shy, inviting smile...Ashley couldn't take it any longer.

Ashley leaned in and kissed Spencer on her soft lips. Spencer kissed back; she had been waiting for that kiss. It was passionate. And it was long awaited. Ashley lay on her back and Spencer straddled on top of her. Their warm tongues touched as they kissed. _It felt amazing._ Ashley's hands moved up Spencer's stomach inching off her shirt. Spencer lifted up her arms and Spencer's shirt was soon on the floor. Spencer smiled and gazed into Ashley's eyes. Spencer kissed Ashley on the lips, and made her way down to her neck. As she nibbled on Ashley's neck she heard a pleasing moan. Spencer inched Ashley's shirt off and soon her shirt was on the floor. Spencer was down to just wearing a skirt and her bra and Ashley was wearing her jeans and her bra. Spencer kissed Ashley's stomach and made her way down to her belly button. Spencer looked up at Ashley and waited for approval to unbutton her jeans.

Ashley smiled and nodded her head. Ashley wanted her to whip off her jeans, she wanted them off. Spencer unbuttoned her jeans and sensually removed her jeans down her legs. Ashley propped herself up with her elbows and watched. Spencer kissed Ashley's legs and made her way up. She gave Ashley a kiss over her underwear and she felt Ashley's legs quiver. Spencer grinned. She made her way up to her lips and they continued to kiss. Their gentle, supple, lips touched as their warm tongues caressed each other's mouths. Things were really starting to heat up. _They were passionate, gentle, and loving._

They were so into each other they didn't notice any of their surroundings. It was just Ashley in Spencer in the room, not a single thing mattered but them.

Kyle knocked on the door but they didn't hear. He fiddled with the door handle and opened up, "Ash, I am making this home video---holy shit."

Ashley and Spencer immediately stopped kissing. Spencer was straddling Ashley and was stunned still. Ashley and Spencer were staring at Kyle; he continued to have the camera on them. Seconds later, Spencer finally snapped out of it and jumped off Ashley. "What the fuck, turn off the fucking camera." Spencer yelped.

She was searching for her skirt and her shirt around the room. She threw them on as quickly as possible. She found Ashley's jeans and shirt and tossed them at Ashley. "Kyle stop being an ass, get the fuck out!" Ashley ran over and pushed Kyle out of the room and locked the door.

_Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. What the hell just happened? He videotaped me...on top of Ashley...kissing...barely clothed. Damnit, son of a bitch._

"Spence?" Ashley walked closer to Spencer who was standing on the opposite side of the room, "Are you all right?"

Spencer looked at the floor then looked up at Ashley, "We have to get that tape. He can leak that, he can show his friends. **No one** can know no one!"

"We're both hot, I bet we filmed well," Ashley joked.

"That's not funny... If that gets in anyone's hands...the wrong hands...my parents...my dad's career. This would cause a huge scandal. Please help me get that back." Spencer walked over to Ashley and kissed her on the lips, "Please."

"Come on, we will go get it," Ashley took Spencer's hand and led their way out of the room.

Kyle was re-watching what he taped. He looked at Spencer's body, he saw how toned, and hot she was. _He wanted her._ He wanted her with all his being.

Spencer and Ashley came barging into his room. "What the hell don't you knock?" He said as he hid the camera and tape behind his pillow.

"Funny, give me the tape," Spencer demanded.

"..And if I don't?" He smirked and walked closer to Spencer.

Spencer walked back as he came closer towards her. Ashley stood in between them and punched Kyle in the chest

"Give us that fucking tape Kyle. No one can know. Her dad's a senator, her mom; well it just can't get in the public hands. Can't we keep this between us?" Ashley pleaded.

Spencer creped over to Kyle's bed and tried darting for the video tape. Kyle hopped over his bed and grabbed Spencer by the arms, "Oh, nice try. But I don't think so."

He smiled and pinned Spencer on the floor. "I have blackmail now." Ashley ran over to Spencer and hit Kyle on the back, "Get off her jerk!"

Kyle pushed Ashley on the floor. "This will only take a sec sis. Now, I will let you up if you promise not to try and steal my tape."

Spencer stopped squirming around, "Fine."

"Promise?"

"Yes, I promise. Now, get off." He let go and Spencer jumped up.

"Since you want to blackmail me, what the hell do you want?" Spencer helped Ashley off the floor.

"You." He smiled, looking her up and down.

Ashley's face dropped. "What the hell Kyle?"

Spencer couldn't believe it, "What? I'm not having sex with you." She crossed her arms.

"Well, not yet anyways. If you don't go out with me, I will spread this tape so fast, you could barely blink. You are the prettiest girl in school, you have power, your family has power...and I really like you. Plus, that whole girl on girl thing is hot...only if it's not my sister."

"You're such an ass Kyle, she's with me. She's my girlfriend, get over yourself--" Ashley was cut off.

"Fine, done, deal." Spencer felt a tear roll down her cheek.

"Spencer what? No, there's gotta be another way."

"I can't ruin my family's reputation! If my dad found out...he'd kill me!" Spencer yelped, "If that's all you need to hear from me now, I'm leaving. I agreed, I'm out of here."

Spencer walked out of there and Ashley trailed behind. Ashley grabbed her arm and pulled her into her room.

"Why did you agree?" Ashley said as she shut the door.

"I had to. I have a plan, once he trusts me, I can fucking steal that tape." Spencer sat on Ashley's bed. Truth was, she didn't have a plan. She needed to assure Ashley everything was going to be okay. She couldn't let that tape get out, she was going to do anything for it to be buried.

"What about us?"

"What about us? I lo---ve you and that's all that matters. He's not getting anything out of me, he just wants arm candy. Don't worry Ash; this isn't going to go on for long. We are going to get that tape by this weekend." Spencer leaned in and kissed Ashley on the cheek.

The only thing Ashley heard was love out of that sentence. "You love me?" Ashley smiled.

"I know it's soon, but I can feel it. I know I do. I do, I love you." Spencer smiled and gave her a kiss on the lips.

_Love was all they needed...or hoped that was all._


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I know this chapter is kind of short but I wanted to update as soon as I could. I should be posting another one late tonight. Thanks for the reviews, I appreciate it. I hope you all enjoy this chapter!**

**Intoxicated violence: I like the way you think. Maybe his ass will get kicked in a few chapters…**

**DushkusBitch: Yeah the door probably should have been locked…my bad. **

Spencer wasn't sure if she felt love or lust. She loved hanging out with Ashley, talking with her on the phone, spending every waking moment with her, but she wasn't sure if it was love. She wanted to jump on top of Ashley every time she saw her, she wanted to touch her, kiss her, and just lay next to her.

_I don't know why I told her I loved her. I'm not even sure if I do. I know I really like her, but God, what did I do? What if I just scared her away? How about I just deny it, the next time she brings it up...if she ever brings it up. At least I assured her everything was going to be fine. I'm not even sure; I haven't convinced myself that yet._

It was two weeks since the whole Kyle incident and everything was going somewhat normal. Spencer walked around school holding Kyle's hand, waited around for him after football practice; she even kissed him every so often.

Spencer was holding Kyle's hand one day during lunch and she saw Ashley at a distant table. Ashley stared at them, she felt hurt. She envied what Spencer and Kyle had...an open relationship. Even it was a lie; at least they were out in the open...not caring what other people thought. Ashley wasn't sure how much longer she could take of this. She watched them, she saw Spencer laugh and be fake happy with Kyle and all of their friends. Ashley wasn't sure how much longer she could be placed on the back burner.

Spencer let go of Kyle's hand and kissed him on the cheek. She walked away and sat next to Ashley. "Hey, how are you?"

Ashley looked up from the table at Spencer, "Shitty."

Spencer placed her hand on top of Ashley's. It was a normal reaction when she was with Ashley, but she quickly removed it. "What's wrong, Ash?"

"Oh I don't know, maybe it's been two weeks and you are still dating MY BROTHER."

"Ash, keep your voice down," Spencer scooted closer to Ashley.

"No, I'm not keeping my voice down any longer. I can't do---Come over later we have major talking to do." Ashley picked up her left over lunch, which she barely touched, and walked away.

Spencer felt hurt that Ashley just walked away but she knew what she had to do. She put on her happy face and walked back over to Kyle and the rest of the group. The rest of the school day went on and it was time for cheer practice.

The normal routine was that Ashley would wait out by Spencer's car until she let out. Spencer walked out of cheer practice with her gym bag on her shoulder and there was no Ashley. She looked around campus; there wasn't a single sight of her. Maybe she went to the bathroom. Spencer got in her car and waited for awhile. She finally picked up her phone and called her.

"Hey, uh you aren't by my car where are you?"

"I got a ride home with my friend Jem," Ashley responded harshly.

"I'll be over in a bit."

"To see me? Or to see your boyfriend?" _Harsh again._

"You, you are the person I only want to see...ever." _Click._

Spencer drove over to Ashley's house and she felt butterflies in her stomach. She knew something was up. Ashley never treated her this coldly. She let herself in the house; she knew no one was home but Ashley. She slowly dragged her feet up to Ashley's bedroom.

"Hey Ash...you said we need to talk?" Spencer said shyly.

"Yeah we do," Ashley said every word very abruptly.

"You look beautiful today," Spencer tried changing the subject.

"Well thanks. But Spencer we really need to talk. It's been two weeks and you are still dating my brother. Where's the tape? Have you even tried looking for it...stealing it or what? I looked through his room, I tore through it, and it is gone. He hid it or something; because I ripped apart his room...I had to do something. 'Cause you're not doing a damn thing."

Spencer wasn't sure what to say. It's true she really didn't try getting the tape. She looked for it around his room and in his car but she didn't have any luck. Truth was she gave up looking a couple of days ago. She had always dated guys, dating Kyle wasn't anything different. It bothered her more than dating other guys, because she knew it hurt Ashley so much.

Spencer figured she already had lost the battle with Kyle. She didn't want to loose Ashley in the process, that wasn't part of the plan. Spencer hoped Kyle would eventually get fed up with her. She was making it hard for him. She was being a complete bitch, not being herself, and barely kissing him.

"Do you even have anything to say to me?" Ashley put her hands on her hips.

"I like you Ash, isn't that enough? I'm trying; I looked for the damn tape. It's no where to be found, I don't know what to do. I have to continue to dating him, until we find it, or else he will show my parents or worse the public." Spencer sat on the bed.

"Well you can continue to date him, but you aren't dating me anymore."

"What? You think I want this? You think I asked for Kyle to accidentally tape us and use it as blackmail? I am hurting just as much as you are Ashley." Spencer started to cry. Tears rolled down her cheeks and she wiped them off.

"You know how to end this Spencer? Come out to your parents. You don't have to live this lie. If it is hurting you that much, come out to them. Then Kyle will have nothing against you. And we can be together, just you and me." Ashley walked over and kneeled next to Spencer and held her hands.

Spencer thought about it for a second, but knew she wasn't ready...or she just plain couldn't come out to her parents.

"I--I want to, but you know I can't." Ashley immediately let go of her hands.

"You need to grow a pair, Spencer. For being so self-confident and full of yourself, you really need to grow a pair and come out to your parents. You can't live this lie forever."

"I--" Ashley cut of Spencer.

"And when you do finally stop living this lie...I might not be around. It hurts me to say that, but I can't do this. I can't watch you all over my brother, when I am your girlfriend. I can't. I won't." Ashley's eyes glossed over and she felt a tear drop.

"Ashley, you don't mean this. I really want to be with you. This Kyle thing will blow over, can't we just be together? It's what we both want." Spencer walked over to Ashley and hugged her from behind.

"Let go," Ashley squirmed but Spencer refused to let go.

"No, I know you want me." Spencer smiled then finally let go.

"Spencer you don't get the best of both worlds. Leave. I don't want to talk to you until you stop living this lie. Break up with Kyle; come out to your parents, whatever. I won't just sit back and watch this."

Ashley opened her bedroom door and made a hand gesture for Spencer to leave.

Spencer heard those words come out of Ashley's mouth and they hurt. Spencer realized something can only hurt that much if you loved the person. _It must be love._

"I love you Ashley." Spencer said as she stood in her room.

"Get out. You don't get to say that to me." Ashley wiped away her tears she didn't want Spencer to see her cry.

Spencer knew she wasn't going to get anywhere, until she did what Ashley asked. She didn't want to loose Ashley out of her life. Ashley was the only person that loved her for who she was. Ashley was the first person she felt like herself around. She was the first person she could act like herself around. She wasn't afraid to let her guard down around Ashley. She let her guard down and she wasn't sure if she regretted that yet.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: All right, here is the update! I know I said I would post it by last night, but I got caught up updating my other fic. Anyways, thank you all for reviewing I appreciate it. I know how much we all hate Kyle and I hate to say this but…he isn't leaving the story…just yet. **

**  
Oh question, I wanted to know what songs everyone thinks of when they think of Spashley. I am trying to work songs into the fic and I wanted to know what songs you think of when you think of their relationship, their love, and whatever. Get back to me on that!**

**Enough of me, enjoy!**

A week went by and Spencer continued to date Kyle. She couldn't come out to her parents, she wasn't ready yet. She was afraid of what her dad might do to her. Spencer hasn't talked to Ashley since a week ago, when Ashley demanded she break up with Kyle.

Spencer watched Ashley at lunch and it hurt to even look at her. It hurt to look at her knowing that she was living a lie. She wanted to be with Ashley, she loved Ashley, but _why was it so hard?_

Every time Spencer convinced herself she was going to come out to her parents she backed out. She would walk right up to her father and she was ready to tell him. Most of her sentences went like this,_ "I--am going to go out. I---have a lot of homework to do. I---'m going to hang out with Kyle." _She attempted but every time she was ready to say "I'm gay" something inside of her told her no.

_So she sat._ She sat at the lunch table holding Kyle's hand, pretending she was happy. She tried not to look over at Ashley; it just hurt more when she did.

Ashley was making new friends at her table and she looked happy. Spencer felt jealous.

_Look at her over there, all happy. Talking to her new friends. She doesn't know how hard this is. I have to date her brother...does she think I want this? All I wanted was to go out with her. She's so beautiful, funny, amazing...I need to stop. It just makes this harder. I need to go talk to her._

Spencer got up from the table and walked over to Ashley. She butted into whatever conversation they all were having. "Uh, Ash, can I talk to you for a sec?"

The table grew silent and Ashley slowly turned around to look at Spencer, "Can't you see I'm kinda busy?" Ashley turned back around and continued talking.

Spencer felt hurt; she felt tears forming in her eyes. _You can't cry, don't cry. Suck it up, this is what she wants... to hurt you. Damnit._

Spencer grabbed Ashley's arm and dragged her away from the table. "What?! What was so important you had to violently drag me away from the table?"

"I miss you Ash. Can't we just hang out?" Spencer looked deep into her eyes, trying to get something out of her.

"You still dating my brother?" Ashley put her hand on her hip.

"Yes, you know that. It's not like I wan--" Ashley cut off Spencer.

"Then you have nothing to say to me." Ashley walked away and sat back down at her table.

Spencer stood with her jaw dropped, hurt, confused. She walked back to her table and put her smile back on.

"Why do you even hang out with that freak?" Brittany asked Spencer.

"Once you get to know her, she's kinda cool. Plus, I see her all the time when I'm with Kyle." Spencer smiled and just tried to shove off the question_. Maybe because I love her, that's why Brittany! Maybe because I feel like myself around her! Unlike everyone at this table. _

The bell rang and they all went off to class. Spencer kissed Kyle bye on the lips. Once Kyle walked away, Spencer saw Ashley standing there, staring. She saw a tear fall down Ashley's cheek.

"Wait! Ashley!" Spencer ran after Ashley.

Ashley was slightly crying, "You know, I felt bad the way I treated you at lunch and I was waiting to apologize. But screw that! I can't do this Spencer. You know where I stand."

Ashley walked away and Spencer stood in the same spot. Spencer had enough; she couldn't take going through school at the moment. She walked out to her car and drove out of school. She didn't know where she was going or why. All she knew was she needed to get out of that school. That school that reminded her of the lie she was living. She had to be with Kyle but she wanted to be with Ashley, it was all so screwed up. This was not how she envisioned her senior year to be. _Everything was going so wrong._

Spencer drove aimlessly around town blasting her music. _MakeDamnSure by Taking Back Sunday_ came on the radio and Spencer just sung at the top of her lungs. She didn't know where she was going. All that mattered at the moment was her hair in the wind and how loud she could sing the music.

Spencer drove up to an ice cream parlor and decided to get some ice cream. Ice cream always makes a girl happy when they are down. Spencer walked in and _shit shit, my mom is here. Who is that guy she is with? That's not dad...Quickly sneak out before she sees you. Just tip toe out like you are invisible._

"Spencer?" _Damnit, she saw me. I am busted._

"Hey, mom, how's it going?" _Just play it off, act nonchalant Spencer._

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in school?"

_Damnit, time to play a card,_ "Shouldn't you be at work? And who are you with? That certainly isn't dad."

"Don't change the subject on me young lady. You march right back out to your car and get you pretty little behind back in school." Paula put her hands on her hips.

"So, you want me to tell dad you were with some strange man?" _Score...I have blackmail_.

"You march young lady," Paula was doing whatever she could to shrug off the guy she was with.

"Fine, whatever." Spencer went back to her car and drove off, but like hell if she was going back to school. She wasn't sure who her mom was with, but she didn't really care. It could have been a co-worker, someone from dad's office, a romantic fling, she didn't really care. _Romantic fling? Wait, maybe if I talk to mom about who he was...she can help me with my blackmail. I don't know, bad idea._

Spencer drove back home and decided to lie in bed. Her phone vibrated and she got a **text from Ashley: **_You aren't in class, everything okay? _

**Spencer texted back**: _Why would you care._

**Ashley texted:** _That's the problem I do. But whatever, you are obviously okay. _

Spencer didn't respond. The only way she could deal with not talking to Ashley and being with her, is to just be mean to her. She was trying to sever all emotional attachment to that girl. She tried being nice and that got her no where. She couldn't break up with Kyle at least not yet. She had no idea where the tape was and she wasn't ready to come out to her parents.

Spencer soon got calls from everyone on her cheerleading squad asking where she was. She just lay in bed and didn't answer one call. She didn't care. She didn't care about cheerleading. She didn't care about anything...but Ashley. _It felt as if her whole world didn't matter if that girl wasn't in it. _

She heard a car door and ran to her window to see who it was. She saw Ashley get out of her friend's car and walk into her house. Before she walked into her house Ashley stopped and turned and looked at Spencer's window. Spencer smiled; she knew Ashley wanted her just as bad. But she also knew that Ashley wasn't going to take her back until she came out to her parents or broke up with Kyle...which basically meant coming out.

_Maybe Kyle is all talk and won't show anyone the tape? I don't know if I could risk that. Maybe if I just pleaded with him and told him how unhappy I am. And told him that I am GAY for the hundredth time that he would just leave me alone. I don't understand what he thinks he is accomplishing, I'm gay and I will never love him. Stupid boys. _

_Speak of the devil._ Spencer answered her phone, "What?"

"Hey babe, whatca doin'?" Kyle asked.

"I'm at home," Spencer was being short answered, hoping he would get the hint.

"Hey, you weren't at cheerleading practice today, the girls were worried. Home alone? Maybe we can hang out..." Kyle's tone was happy.

"I'm not feeling well, maybe tomorrow."

"Well, if you're not feeling well...I can go get that tape I have of you and my sister and show let's see...the whole world." Kyle snickered.

Spencer was pissed that he was holding that over her head to get what he wants. She wasn't sure how much longer she could take it. "Fine. Come over." Spencer hung up the phone and threw it across the room.

Not before long Kyle parked in Spencer's driveway and made his way inside. He lay next to Spencer on the bed. He took his hand and slide in down the side of her body. She quickly swatted it away.

"Oh, don't be like that. You know you want me." Kyle was somewhat disappointed. He really liked Spencer and wanted her to like him back the same way.

"No, I really don't. If it wasn't for this stupid tape, you wouldn't be here, I wouldn't be dating you. You mean nothing to me." Spencer sat up on the bed.

"Oh then why can I do this?" Kyle jumped on top of Spencer and straddled her. He kissed her neck then made his way up and kissed her on the lips.

She hated when he kissed her. It wasn't gentle and sweet. His lips weren't soft and thin, they were the exact opposite. There was no passion, no connection. _She despised his kisses_. It was the exact opposite of how she felt when she kissed Ashley.

"Stop. Get off me," Spencer pounded on him until he got off.

"You know, you will realize you want to be with me. If you didn't you would have found the tape by now or broke up with me." He laughed as he put his hands behind his head and lay on Spencer's bed.

Spencer crossed her arms and stood by her window. She looked out of her window and stared at Ashley's house. _That's all she wanted was Ashley, why couldn't she muster up enough courage to break up with Kyle?_

"Well, whatever I'm out of here." Kyle got up and walked towards the door.

"Doesn't it bother you that I'm in love with your sister?" Spencer turned around and looked at him.

Kyle stood in the doorway and thought about it, "Nope. 'Cause you feel the same way about me and you just don't know it yet."

Spencer was disgusted by him she rolled her eye, "You fucking wish."

Kyle was full of himself. He always had the girl he wanted and no matter what. He wanted Spencer and he was going to get her. It didn't matter how he had her, just as long as he did. He didn't care that he was putting Spencer through unbearable pain. All he cared about was himself and what he wanted.

He walked out of Spencer's bedroom and left. Spencer's mom walked through the door and the first words she yelled was, "Spencer get your ass down here."

Just when she thought her day couldn't get any worse, it did. She scurried down the stairs and stood in front of her mom.

"What do you want?" Spencer barked at her mom.

"First, I want to talk about you not going to school. Then I want to talk about the guy I was with." Paula's tone turned serious.

"All right what about it?" Spencer rolled her eyes.

"Well, don't skip class again. I won't tell your father, and when the school calls I will tell them you were sick and had to come home. But this is the only time I will do it. I understand not wanting to go to school and having to ditch a day, but just this once honey. Okay?" Paula waited for an answer.

"Okay, fine, yes mom. I will not do it again. I just---I needed to get out of the school. I was having a bad day." Spencer looked at her lap, "And that guy you were with? Are you having an affair mom?" Spencer was surprised she just blurted it out.

Paula was surprised and smiled. "No, of course not honey. I love your father. He is a party planner, we are planning you're father's birthday bash. I want it to be amazing."

"Can I go back upstairs now?" Spencer gave attitude without realizing it.

"Is something bothering you? Are you and Kyle not working out? I really liked him too; he was such a sweet boy. But what's wrong honey, you have been distant lately." Paula said rubbing Spencer's back.

_Only if she knew how __**sweet**__ he really was_. "I'm fine Mom. I don't want to talk about it." Spencer made her way up the stairs.

Paula shouted up them, "You can talk to me about anything, Spencer. I mean it, anything."

Spencer stopped in her tracks; _I wish I could tell you I was gay._


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Here's the update I hope you all enjoy. Thank you to those who answered my song question, I incorporated one that you told me. Thanks to all those who are still reading! And thanks to those who are reviewing! It's appreciated! Enjoy!**

Spencer did the normal routine. She went to school, put on her happy face, went to classes, did cheerleading practice, and hung out with Kyle. She continued that routine for the next two weeks. _She didn't speak to Ashley once._ Every time their eyes met Spencer's heart melted. Every day after cheerleading practice she went home and cried on her bed.

She didn't realize how hard it was to live one big lie. She wasn't just lying to everyone else, she was lying to herself. _ Ashley reminded her of that lie everyday. _Spencer would stand by her window looking for just one glance from Ashley. That glance from Ashley helped her carry on throughout the weeks. She knew there was hope, she saw the way Ashley glanced up at her window...they were pining over each other.

She saw Ashley walk over towards her house. _What? She's coming over here? This can't be happening. Oh my god, she just crossed the street. Her arms are crossed, she doesn't look happy. But she's coming over here...to talk to __**me**__. Oh my god, how do I look?_

Spencer ran to the mirror and wiped away the tear stains off her face. She quickly threw on some make up and fixed her clothes. She heard the doorbell ring. Spencer slowly walked down to the door; she didn't want to seem too anxious.

"Hey, Ash. What's going on?" Spencer tried to hide her smile, but she couldn't. She smiled as she stood before the girl she loved.

"Yeah, so I'm going to cut this short. You're still dating my brother...any luck finding that tape?" Ashley had her arms crossed, she didn't smile.

"No, I haven't," Spencer faced turned sad, "It's gone, hidden well. If that's all you wanted, why did you come over here?"

"I wanted to see how that was going for you. I'm still looking, I haven't found it. You know all you have to do to stop dating my brother is to come out to your parents. You don't have to say anything, 'cause I know that's not happening anytime soon. I just wanted to check up on you, see how living this lie is treating you."

Ashley looked Spencer up and down, "Obviously pretty badly, 'cause I can tell you were crying."

Spencer felt tears forming, "Why? Why Ashley? Why are you making this harder for me than it already is? You think I want to be dating your brother? You coming over here, I thought it was a good thing. But you are making me feel worse. I care about you, I want you, I need you, but I can't have that. Why are you rubbing it in my face?"

Spencer let the tear fall; she couldn't hold it any longer.

"I'm sorry," Ashley took her hand and wiped away Spencer's tear, "I didn't mean for you to cry. I just wanted to see how you were doing, I care. But this doesn't change anything. Until you dump that asshole of a brother I have and come out to your parents...we can't be." Ashley smiled and gave Spencer a kiss on the cheek and walked away.

Spencer stood in the doorway and felt the spot on her cheek where Ashley kissed her. Her tears turned to tears of joy. Feeling those gentle sweet lips on her cheek, reminded her of how happy she was just a few weeks ago_. And she wanted that back so badly_.

She wasn't sure if she was ready to give everything up for Ashley. She wanted to so badly, but she knew how much it would hurt everyone around her. She knew sacrificing her own feelings for everyone else around her, was only really hurting one person she cared about...Ashley. She knew if she continued to hurt Ashley she wasn't going to wait around much longer_. I have to tell my parents, I have to. I can't wait any longer. Being with Kyle is killing me._

Spencer's phone started vibrating. Before she looked at the caller ID she hoped it was Ashley. It was only wishful thinking.

"Mom? W--what's wrong? Slow down."

"It's your father...come to the hospital...right away." _Click._

Spencer was confused, worried, and she didn't know what to think. Her mother didn't explain anything on the phone. All she knew was her father was at the hospital. She grabbed her car keys, flew down the stairs, and drove as fast as she could to the hospital.

On the way to the hospital _Speechless by The Veronicas_ came on the radio. "Hell no, I can't take this right now." Spencer flipped off the radio and drove in silence. That song reminded her of Ashley every time she heard it. She would listen to it and she would just cry hysterically. Every time Spencer was near Ashley she felt speechless, and she wasn't going to be reminded of it.

There was media all outside of the hospital. They came running up to Spencer throwing their microphones in her face as she walked in. She just briskly said "no comment" and kept walking. She knew it had to be something serious if they were here. _She was frightened, she needed to know now. _

Spencer walked up the front desk, "Arthur Carlin." She said to the lady, she looked around the waiting room but didn't see her mother.

"Oh, you're his daughter. Um, your mother is down the hall and to the left." The nurse pointed.

"Thank you." Spencer quickly walked down the hall and to the left and she saw her mother crying in a chair.

Spencer ran up to her mom and kneeled on the floor in front of her, "What happened mom??! What's going on?"

Paula looked up from her lap. Her mascara was running down her face and she was still crying. "You're father," She wept and could barely get out a sentence, "Had a heart attack."

Spencer's face melted. _What? What? That can't be possible_. She kept repeating in her head. "I uh. Is it a minor heart attack? Will he be okay?" Spencer felt a tear fall down her cheek.

"He's in surgery...we don't know. The doctors won't let me in; they didn't want me in there 'cause I'm too emotional. I can't loose your father!" Paula leaned on Spencer's shoulder.

"Shh, mom. Shh it's going to be fine. Dad is strong, he's a fighter." Spencer consoled her mother; she figured it would be the other way around. Spencer realized _she had to be the strong one today. _

In the waiting room the news was on the television. She saw her father's face plastered on the screen, the news anchor commented on her father's condition. The whole world now knows that her father had a heart attack. She hated that. That her father's life was public, that it was all just press to everyone else. It was her life that they were spreading around. _Didn't they care that we are a family? We don't want the world knowing my dad JUST had a heart attack. We just barely grasped the fact he did, and now we have to deal with all this press._

Ashley was watching the news and saw that Spencer's dad was in the hospital. She knew she had to run down there, to see how Spencer was holding up. It didn't matter how screwed up their relationship was, she had to make sure Spencer was doing okay. Ashley raced into the hospital and found Spencer in the waiting room.

"Ashley?" Spencer said as Ashley stood before her.

"Mom, I'll be right back. You gonna be fine?" Her mom shook her head yes, "I'll be fine honey."

"I'll be right around the corner if you need anything." Spencer pointed to where she was going to stand. Spencer grabbed Ashley by the arm and dragged her around the corner.

"What are you doing here?" Spencer barked.

"I wanted to see how you are holding up. You okay? How's your dad?" Ashley was genuinely worried and concerned.

"My mother's a mess; I am trying to be strong for all of us. I don't know how much longer I can. My dad--still in surgery. Oh Ashley!" Spencer fell into Ashley's arm and wept. She held on to Ashley as she cried. Spencer knew it was okay to feel weak around Ashley. She didn't have to be strong if Ashley was there.

"Shh, shh. It's going to be fine. It's all going to turn out, you will see," Ashley said as she rubbed Spencer's head. Ashley smiled and everything felt so right. It was messed up for how they were together holding on to each other, _but it felt right._

"Ashley, you don't know that. I don't know that." Spencer stood up and stood before Ashley, "Sorry. I didn't--"

"Don't apologize for that. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm going to be here for you, no matter what."

Spencer smiled and she calmed down and stopped crying. "Thanks, Ash. Things are so screwed up...with everything. I'm sorry. This isn't how I imagined senior year to be."

"It's going to be fine. Trust me." Ashley leaned in and kissed Spencer on the lips. Spencer held Ashley's head and kissed back, wholeheartedly. _It felt amazing to have Ashley's soft lips kiss hers._

"Spencer, come quick, the doctors are back!" Paula yelped.

Spencer and Ashley quickly sprung out of the kiss. _Shit, did my mom just see that? _

Paula grabbed Spencer's arm and dragged her into the waiting room. "Come on Ashley!" Paula yelled at Ashley.

The doctors stood in front of them. There were two; one was holding a clip board and the other one had blood on his smock.

"So? Come on, Larry don't make me wait here. You already took me out of the room." Paula shouted at them. She couldn't wait any longer.

"He's going to be fine Paula. He has to stay here for a couple of days...but he had a severe heart attack. He's going to recover over time," The doctor said then walked away.

"You hear that Spence? He's going to be fine!" Paula hugged Spencer and kissed her on the forehead, "I'm going to go in first, and then you can go in after."

Paula walked away and Spencer and Ashley sat in the waiting room.

"Did your mom catch us kissing?" Ashley couldn't wait any longer, she had to ask.

"I--I don't know. She didn't say anything...maybe she is waiting to later? Ignoring it? Or maybe she just didn't see. I don't know, we will worry about that later." Spencer said as she had her hand on Ashley's leg.

Ashley smiled. "I'm here for you."

Spencer figured Ashley should go home, just in case her mom confronted her. "You should go, Ash."

Ashley was confused, "You sure? I can stay as long as you'd like." Ashley smiled and assured Spencer she didn't have to go anywhere.

"Yeah, you should go. My mom will be coming out soon, and she might say something. I don't want you to be stuck in the middle of an argument. But I really appreciate you coming down here; it means so much to me." Spencer smiled and kissed Ashley on the cheek.

"I'll call you when I can. Kay?" Spencer smiled and watched Ashley leave.

It was horrible how everything came together but somehow it did. Spencer's dad had a heart attack, but he was going to make it. Paula may of saw Spencer kissing Ashley, but we don't know. _Oddly enough, everything felt as if it was coming together._


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thanks to all those who are still reading and reviewing. I appreciate it. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I am collaborating with another author on a new story so keep an eye out for that. The name of it is going to be Anything But Ordinary…we should be posting it in a couple days. Thanks again!**

It was a day later and Spencer and Paula slept in the hospital chairs...barely. It was a whole day later and still Paula had not mentioned a thing about Spencer kissing Ashley. It was killing her. She needed to know if she saw. _I can't just blurt out and ask, did you see me kissing a girl? If she didn't that would give it away. I don't know. I need to know if she saw, it's killing me._

Spencer needed to know but deep down she hoped her mother saw. That would mean she didn't have to lie anymore. _I wish I could just read my mother's thoughts. She has been awfully quiet since. _

"Spencer we need to talk," _Oh my God, she knows. I'm dead._

"Um, yes mom? What's wrong, is it dad?" _Just play it cool, be like nothing happened._

"I saw you kissing Ashley. We need to talk about this."

Spencer's heart sunk, she wanted her mom to know, but she didn't want her to see it in action.

Spencer didn't know how to respond, what was she supposed to say? "Oh..." That was the only word she could manage to come out of her mouth.

"I know you're young and experimenting but you really shouldn't do it in public, Spencer. We are a family always in the news. If a reporter was there...that would have been bad" Paula sternly said.

"This isn't an experiment mom. I like Ashley. I'm gay," _I did it. I said it; I told her I was gay._

Paula was shocked, "You can't say that. It's an experiment."

"I'm done lying to everyone and especially myself, I'm gay." Spencer smiled, every time she those words escaped her mouth, she grew happier.

"Keep your voice down, young lady. It's not acceptable. We have an image to uphold, you will continue dating Kyle whether you like it or not. And like hell if you are telling your father. He just had a heart attack for Christ-sakes! If you told him that, his heart would just plain fail. You keep this to yourself." Paula crossed her arms and she was not taking no for an answer.

"So you want me to not be who I am?" Spencer wasn't happy all of a sudden. _It wasn't supposed to be like this. _

"Spencer, I am asking you to look out for your father. He's going to need us, if you tell him you are gay, it will ruin his entire campaign…his career...and his goal at becoming president. Do you want to ruin his dreams?"

"No, but---" Paula cut her off.

"So, if you have been living a lie...what's a few more?" Paula smirked.

"I--I guess a few more isn't much." Spencer looked at her lap, she felt as if she was _back where she started._

"I still love you honey, for who you are. Gay, straight, you are still my little girl. But it's not acceptable in this world, especially in ours." Paula brushed Spencer's hair out of her face, consoling her.

Spencer swatted her hand away, "I can't talk to you right now." Spencer got up and walked away.

Spencer ran to the bathroom and found and empty stall. She just sat there and cried. She didn't know what was worse. Living a lie...or having her mom make her live this lie. _She didn't know how much this is killing me. She didn't know the entire Kyle situation. Why would she make me do this? She's probably right, I would kill dad if I told him. His heart is already weak enough. God. Why can't life be easier?_

Spencer walked back to the waiting room and she was still somewhat crying.

"Pull yourself together Spencer. Nothing has changed, honey. I may know that you are gay, but I don't. I am pretending you aren't. We can't do this right now, right here. You cannot do this to this family. So stop crying and go in and talk to your father." Paula made Spencer stand up and she gave her a little push towards the door.

Spencer glared back at her mother. _She hated her right now._

"There's my beautiful little girl." Arthur smiled as Spencer walked through the door.

"Hi, Dad. How are you feeling?" Spencer inched closer.

"I'll live. I can't wait to get out of this hospital. How are you holding up? You look down, something happen with Kyle?"

Spencer resisted rolling her eyes. She was tired of hearing Kyle's name. "No we are fine. I'm just worried about you." Spencer was worried about her father, but she was also upset about the whole Ashley, Paula thing, she wanted so badly to tell him.

"Honey, you don't have to worry about me. I am only stuck in here for two more days then I get out. You don't have to stay here; you can go to school and stuff. Hang out with your friends. I'm going to be just fine." Arthur smiled and grabbed Spencer's hand.

"I know, but I want to be here for you dad and I always will be." Spencer smiled.

"Same here, I am here for whatever you need. We can talk about anything, Spencer; I want you do know that. I know I am your father, and it's not cool to talk to me about teenager things...but you can talk to me about anything."

Spencer smiled and felt like her father was acting odd. He never talked like this. Maybe his heart attack has changed his way of thinking. _I hope, 'cause I can't hold this gay thing in any longer. I have to for now, my mother is right. It would probably kill him, but I can't do this much longer. I love Ashley too much._

"Spencer, you in there?"

"Yeah, sorry dad. Just thinking." Spencer stared out of the hospital window. She wanted to be next to Ashley, she needed the comfort right now.

"No need to be sorry. Why don't you go home, get some rest, and come back later." Arthur smiled.

"You sure?"

"Yes, now go, before I force you out of my room. Get some rest. I'll be fine."

"Thanks Dad," Spencer leaned in a gave Arthur a kiss on the cheek, "I'll be back tonight."

Spencer left the room, grabbed her sweater, and started to walk out.

"Where are you going young lady?"

_I hate when she calls me young lady, it feels like she is talking down to me_. "Dad told me to go home and rest, and that is what I am doing." Spencer continued to inch away from her mother.

"Fine, be back tonight. I don't want you gone long." Paula walked closer to Spencer, grabbed her arm, and forced a cheek kiss onto her.

Spencer scoffed and walked out the door to her car. She picked up her phone and called Ashley. When Ashley picked up the phone she was whispering.

_"Hello?" Ashley said in a whisper._

_"Why are we whispering?" Spencer said back in a whisper._

_"I'm in class right now. Everything okay?" _

_"Oh sorry, I didn't know. I just needed to talk to you, I -- needed to talk. But come by after school. I am heading home for a while."_

_"Say no more. This class was boring anyways. See you soon." Click._

_"You don't have to--" Spencer tried to get out that she didn't have to ditch school, but it was too late Ashley had already hung up._

Ashley arrived over at Spencer's house and she let herself in. She made her way up to Spencer's bedroom. Spencer smiled at the sight of Ashley, she couldn't help it.

"You didn't have to ditch school. It wasn't that important."

"But I wanted to, and yes you are important to me." Ashley smiled and made her way over to the bed and sat next to Spencer. "So what's bothering you?"

Spencer blurted it out, "My mom saw us kissing."

Ashley was shocked, "And...?"

"She knows now, I told her I was gay. I felt so good saying it too...but she says I can't come out to my dad. She said I have to continue dating Kyle, she said it's not right for the family." Spencer fell into Ashley's lap.

"That's fucked up, Spence." Ashley ran her fingers through Spencer's hair. _She missed __**this.**_

Spencer picked up her head, "I--I don't know what to do. I can't tell my father yet, he just had a heart attack, and I don't want to make it worse. At least my mom knows right?"

Ashley smiled, "Sure, you're going to break up with Kyle though, right?"

Spencer looked into Ashley's eyes; she knew these next words would hurt her. "I---I can't. My mother...said I can't. And if I do, because I want to so bad, he will show that tape. And my father definitely can't take that in his condition."

Ashley was trying to hold back her rage. She needed to; she needed to be there for Spencer through a time like this. "Fine. I'll be here for you Spencer, but I can't be here for you like that. I'll be your friend, but nothing more. Not until you break up with Kyle, come out to your father, whatever."

"I understand. I'm going to tell my dad soon. Just he's in the hospital I can't yet. Plus, he seemed changed in the hospital; he might accept it after all. When he was talking to me lying on that hospital bed, he just seemed...different."

Ashley smiled. She was happy to hear those words. She wanted to finally be with Spencer with nothing holding them back. "I just want us, Spence." Ashley leaned in and kissed Spencer on the forehead.

Spencer closed her eyes, she _was happy_. Knowing that Ashley was sticking around while all of this blows over made her feel amazing, happy even. She hasn't felt this comforted and happy in weeks. "I'm going to take a quick shower, I need one. You'll still be out here when I'm done?" Spencer asked with her pleading eyes, she hoped she would say yes.

"I'm not going anywhere." Ashley smiled and made herself comfortable on the bed.

Spencer smiled and headed to her shower. She heard her phone ring, "Hey can you answer that for me?" Spencer yelled through the bathroom door.

"Sure..." Ashley picked up the phone and answered.

_"Hello?" _

_"Spencer, when are you---wait. Who is this? That hello didn't sound like Spencer." Paula said abruptly._

_"This is Ashley. She's in the shower..." Shit maybe I shouldn't of said that, she may think something bad of it. _

_"This is her mother. Tell her I called. Ashley? I think you need to stay away from my daughter. She doesn't need you as a distraction right now." _

_"I will tell her you called and I'm not going anywhere." Click. Ashley tossed the phone to the other side of the bed._

Ashley didn't want to make things harder for Spencer and her mother. But someone had to tell her off. If Spencer couldn't stand up for herself, she was going to. Ashley enjoyed a challenge and she wasn't going anywhere.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I hope you all enjoy this chapter!**

**Intoxicated Violence: You're review made me laugh, which is a good thing. Also, you're wish may come true…but until then trust me you will enjoy what I wrote towards the end of this chapter…**

It was the day for Arthur to be released from the hospital and Spencer was getting ready to leave. She heard her doorbell ring and was puzzled at who it could possibly be. She ran down her stairs and opened the door.

"Oh my God!!" Spencer jumped into his arms and gave him the biggest hug.

"If all I had to do was leave and come back to get this much appreciation...let me ring the door bell again." He smiled as he released from the hug.

"Shut up Glen. I'm so glad you came back. You came back at the perfect time, dad will be so happy to see you. How was it overseas? You're not injured are you? Is that why you are back? I don't see anything." Spencer smiled and twirled Glen around to look for injuries.

"What's with the twenty questions, sis? Being in Iraq was fine; I don't want to talk about it. I'm back for now; I am on my six months leave, so you get to have me for six whole months! And perfect time to see dad? What's up? Where is everyone?" Glen searched through the house as Spencer closed the front door.

Glen had been in Iraq for a little over a year. He had been stationed there for awhile and now he had finally returned. Spencer and Glen weren't like normal siblings always fighting and hating on each other. They had their occasionally arguments but they were the closest siblings could be. When Glen left, Spencer felt like she lost one of her best friends.

"I'm so glad you are back, we have major catching up do to...but we have to do that later. We have to go get dad, he's in the hospital. He had a heart attack." Spencer grabbed her keys and headed for the door.

"What? When? What happened?" Glen was shocked.

"I'll explain everything in the car on the way there. We are already late, we have to go." Spencer grabbed Glen by the arm and dragged him out to the car.

Spencer and Glen talked all the way to the hospital. Spencer was happy to finally have her brother back; she hadn't talked to him in a little over a year. They wrote letters but he rarely had the time to find a phone and call. Spencer missed her brother and she was ready to soak up the next six months with him.

"Hey, wait outside the hospital room, I want to surprise dad," Spencer smiled and hugged her brother.

"Dad, ready to go home?" Spencer walked in, "Hi mom." Spencer had a harsh tone when she said hi to her mother.

"You bet honey, I cannot wait to get out of this stuffy hospital." The nurse wheeled over a wheelchair and Arthur slowly walked to it.

"Wheel chair?" Spencer questioned.

"It's nothing; it's just getting me out to the car. But the nurse here said I have to take things slow." Arthur smiled and was ready to leave the hospital.

"Dad, I have a surprise before we leave this room. Be right back." Spencer leaned out of the room and waved for Glen to come in.

"Surprise! Look who is back!" Glen shouted as he opened up his arms.

"Glen! Honey!" Paula ran over and hugged Glen tight.

"Mom," Glen barely got out, "Breathing is becoming an issue."

"Oh, I'm sorry honey. I'm just so happy to see you!!" Paula excitedly clapped and hugged Glen again.

"There's my boy. Why don't you come over here and give you father a hug." Arthur waved him over.

Glen was confused; Arthur always told him men don't hug other men. Glen slowly walked over and awkwardly gave his father a hug.

"Now, lean in and give your father a real hug." Arthur pulled him down and squeezed him tightly and patted him on the back.

After Glen was released from the hug he shot a confused look at Spencer. Spencer shrugged her shoulders; she noticed her dad was acting odd too.

"Now, let's go home and cook my boy some steaks on the grill." The nurse started to push Arthur out of the room.

"Dad, you don't have to."

"Nonsense, you need some real food. You have been overseas for a year, you're getting steaks."

"Now, honey, the doctor said no red meats at least a few weeks." Paula sternly told Arthur.

"The doctors don't know what's good for me. I'm going to have steaks with my boy who just got done serving our country." Arthur said proudly.

Spencer just walked quietly with the rest of the family. Paula took Arthur in her car and they drove separately from Glen and Spencer.

"So what's up with dad?" Glen asked as soon as they got into the car.

"I know, he's been acting weird ever since the heart attack." Spencer put on her sunglasses as they drove behind their parents.

"So weird, did you see that hug? Awkward, awkward. It felt so weird. Dad said men aren't supposed to hug other men...maybe he has changed...for the better."

"I hope, I really hope. I hope he can take what I want to tell him." Spencer glanced over at Glen.

"He has changed; it looks like he is more loving. Did you see that hug? So maybe he will accept you being gay." Glen smiled and looked out the window, "Man, it's good being home."

"Let's hope." Spencer gave a half-smile and continued driving.

"Hey, when you want to break the news to him, I want to be with you. I will back you up, sis." Glen gave a playful punch on her shoulder.

"Thanks."

"This sounds like my kind of song, turn it up."

Spencer turned up the music for him and started laughing, "This_ is_ you're kind of song."

"Party like a rock... party like a rockstar." Glen sang with the song, "Ohh I am partying tonight. Please invite all of your cheerleading friends over, I need some entertainment." Glen continued jamming out to his new favorite song.

Spencer rolled her eyes and prepared for Glen's homecoming party. They arrived at the house and they all helped Arthur in the house. Ashley saw everyone coming home from across the street and decided to check on Spencer.

"Hey Spencer, I wanted to see how you are and how you dad is doing. Who's this?" Ashley looked at Glen standing next to Spencer.

"Oh, this is my brother. He just got home from Iraq today. Glen this is Ashley, Ashley this is Glen. She lives across the street. She's our neighbor," Spencer realized that probably wasn't the best introduction. She was so much more than just a neighbor to Spencer...but technically at the moment they were only friends.

Glen looked Ashley up and down, "Nice to meet you Ashley. Hey we are having a party later on, you are so invited." Glen smiled.

"I'll be there. Can I talk to you Spencer...alone?" Ashley hinted for Glen to leave.

Glen saw the look Ashley gave Spencer, "Oh...oh. She's one of _those_ friends. Well, she's still welcomed to join the party. See ya later Ashley." Glen walked into the house and closed the door behind her.

"What's up Ash? Something wrong?" Spencer walked closer to Ashley and they walked towards the end of the driveway.

"I just wanted to see how you were holding up...and that stuff with your mom, how's that going?" Ashley was concerned.

"Well, my mom hasn't brought it up again. She is really going to pretend it never happened. Glen's home though, he knows about me being gay. He was the only person I was comfortable enough to tell a year ago. It will be better Glen is home, he can talk to our mom about it, maybe change her way of thinking." Spencer smiled, "You are so beautiful."

"Stop that makes this harder." Ashley swatted her hand away from her face.

"Okay, well, I better get back in the house. Uh, you're coming by later right? Party?" Spencer did a little dance.

"If you want me to?" Ashley said shyly.

"Of course I want you to be there, you are the only person I want there." Spencer leaned in and gave Ashley a kiss on the cheek. "So come around ten. If not, I will march right over to your house and drag you out."

Ashley smiled; she so badly just wanted to be with Spencer. It was so hard to just be her friend. "I'll be there." Ashley walked away and back to her house.

Spencer walked back into her house and sat in the living room with the rest of the family. "Glen, Glen. How are we going to get mom and dad out of house for this party?" Spencer whispered.

"Let it marinate...we will figure something out." Glen went back to listening to their parent's conversation.

"Glen, I know you just got home...but after dinner your father and we have to go visit your grandparents. They want us to stop by and spend the night. They are worried about your father. So we told them we would come right after Arthur got out. You are welcomed to come...both of you." Paula smiled.

"Naw, Mom. I'm beat from traveling; I think I am just going to rest up." Glen winked at Spencer.

"Yeah, I don't feel like coming. Maybe another time. Ready to start cooking?" Spencer smiled and walked into the kitchen to help Paula cook dinner.

They all sat down and ate. They had the typical family meal. Glen talked about his experiences overseas and reassured everyone he was happy to be back. They all made small talk and Glen was waiting for the parents to leave.

"Bye Mom, Bye Dad! See you tomorrow," Glen and Spencer waved bye at the door.

"Swwweet I have been waiting for them to leave. Time to party! Call all your friends, I'm calling mine. Let's get ready to rock this town."

Glen ran upstairs and started calling everyone he knew. Spencer ran up to her room and did the same. She looked through her clothes; she wanted to be dressed perfectly. Ashley was coming and she wanted to be irresistible. Spencer threw on her cutest dress, did her hair and threw on her best accessories. _She wanted Ashley to want her...badly._

"Damn sis, who are you trying to impress?" Glen looked at Spencer.

"Ohh, I look that good? Thanks, I will take that as a compliment." Spencer looked one more time in the mirror and smiled.

Before they knew it half the town seemed to be in the Carlin's house. The party was borderline out of control, but Glen was having fun so that's all that mattered. Everyone was drinking, having a good time, except Spencer. Ashley came just as she planned, but Kyle also came...she didn't invite him. She didn't want him there, but he saw the party happening across the street so he came over.

Kyle sat by Spencer on the couch. He kissed her neck and held her hand. Spencer looked around the room for Ashley, making sure she didn't see. Ashley wasn't anywhere in sight. They were doing so well before Kyle came. Ashley had been drinking and so had Spencer, so they were all over each other. But of course Kyle ruined all the fun.

Kyle kept trying to feel Spencer up. He took his hand and rubbed Spencer's leg, and slid it under her dress. Spencer swatted his hand away, "Stop it, Kyle." Spencer was getting upset with him. He kept trying to kiss Spencer but she moved away every time. "Stop Kyle." Spencer kept saying.

Glen saw how uncomfortable Spencer was sitting next to Kyle. Glen spotted Kyle trying to sneak his hand up Spencer's dress and that was the last straw. Glen came marching over, "When Spencer says no, she means it. Get the hell away from my sister."

"Who the hell are you?" Kyle stood up from the couch and got in Glen's face.

"Uh, I'm her brother and the reason this party is being thrown." Glen pushed Kyle in the chest to back off.

"You don't want to do that bro. And you can't tell me what the hell to do with Spencer; I can do whatever I want."

Glen clenched his fist and he was filled with rage. _No one treats his sister this way._ He took his fist and right hooked Kyle. He fell to the floor. Kyle slowly got up, rotated his jaw, and shook his head. He quickly shook off the punch, "You're going to regret that."

Spencer sat on the couch; she didn't know what to do. She wasn't a supporter of violence or fights, because they got people nowhere. But watching Kyle get punched in the face brought a huge smile to her face.

Kyle ran towards Glen and Glen punched him in the nose. "Get the fuck out of my house, and stay away from my sister!"

Kyle stood there, holding his bloody nose. "You broke my nose!" He yelled as he walked out of the house.

Spencer got up from the couch, ran to Glen, and gave him a big hug. "Thank you so much."

"Who the hell was that guy?"

"Uh...he's my boyfriend...it's complicated...I'll explain it to you later." Spencer started to walk away.

"What? Boyfriend? And you let him treat you that way? But I thought you and Ashley---had a thing going on."

"Well, it's complicated Glen." Spencer continued to walk away.

"All right everyone who isn't me, Spencer or Ashley, get the fuck out of my house." No one moved out of the house, "Now!! Or I'm calling the cops." Once everyone heard the word cops, everyone left.

Everyone finally left the party and the only people that were left was Glen, Spencer, and Ashley. _Glen whispered in Spencer's ear, "Now you have her all alone, like you wanted. You better tell me about this whole Kyle thing later." _Glen left the room.

"So, interesting party." Ashley said as she swayed in her spot.

"Hey, well at least your brother got punched in the face...twice," Spencer was reliving the image in her head and it made her grin.

"True, very true. Too bad I wasn't around to see that."

"It wasn't that good...who am I kidding? It was ah-mazing!" Spencer walked closer to Ashley, "Hey you want to head up to my room?" Spencer gave her best smile.

Ashley smiled, she wanted too, but she couldn't give in. "I--I really should get going."

Spencer turned sad, "I just want to lie next to you, nothing more. Please?" Spencer begged.

"All right...fine. But that's it."

Spencer smiled and took Ashley's hand and led her up to her room. Spencer couldn't stop smiling; she hadn't laid next to Ashley in a long time. _She needed this._ Spencer laid on the bed and Ashley held her. She laid on top of Ashley's chest listening to her heart beat; it was the most soothing sound to her. Ashley was holding Spencer and she missed the feeling. She wished it could be like this all the time, not with all this screwed up shit happening. Ashley smiled as she held on tight to Spencer.

Ashley couldn't take just lying next to her anymore...she needed...more. Ashley moved and crawled on top of Spencer. She gazed into her eyes; she leaned in, and kissed Spencer's soft lips. They both held their eyes closed tight, they both wanted more than that one kiss. Their lips met again…_It was bliss._


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thanks for all the great feedback on that last chapter. I'm glad you all liked that one so much. I really enjoyed writing the part where Kyle got his ass kicked by Glen. Here's the update! Thanks for your continuous reviews! Enjoy!**

Ashley opened up her eyes from kissing Spencer. She smiled at the very sight of her_, she was beautiful._ Ashley quickly freaked out and jumped off the bed. "I s-should go home like now."

Spencer tried to keep her eyes closed remembering one of the happiest moments of her life. But she knew she had to open with them and deal with this. "Why Ashley? We were doing so well. I know you were enjoying kissing me just as much as I was enjoying having your lips touch mine. So, why don't you come back and we can pick up where we left off." Spencer smiled and patted the bed.

Ashley hesitated she started walking forward towards the bed, "I can't Spencer. Not like this." Ashley walked backwards towards the door and put her hand on the doorknob.

"What's so wrong about this? We are happiest in each other's arms...why can't you stay a little longer?"

"Because---because I'm kind of seeing someone...and I can't do that to her." _I can't believe I just blurted that out._

Spencer's heart sunk, "What? Who? Since when?" Spencer wanted to know who this girl was...and beat her down.

Ashley so badly wanted to run out of her room and just forget about what she just said. "For like two weeks...we aren't official or anything yet. I just don't want to do this to her, it isn't fair. Plus, you are still dating my brother...and I promised myself until that shit is gone, we can't be together. I want to be the only person in your life; I don't want to be the one on the side." Ashley tried to force a half-smile.

Spencer didn't know what to say, "But...I am going to tell Glen about all of this tomorrow. Kyle, the blackmail, it is all going to get fixed Ash. Another week tops...then we can be together...right?" Spencer walked over to Ashley and gave her a little hug from behind.

"Spencer...I couldn't wait around forever for you. I didn't think you were ever going to break up with Kyle. I can't just get rid of this girl when it pleases your schedule... When you finally dump my brother...whenever that is, we will see where our lives are... and if it's right, then we will be together." Ashley leaned in a gave Spencer a kiss on the cheek and turned the door handle and started to walk out.

_"It's not supposed to be like that..." Spencer said under her breath. _

Spencer watched Ashley walk down her stairs and let herself out. Before Ashley closed the door she looked up at Spencer and smiled. She wanted to let Spencer know that she is always in her heart no matter what. After Ashley closed the door Spencer ran to her bedroom window. She wanted to watch Ashley walk all the way home. She deeply hoped that Ashley would have a change of heart and turn back around. _It didn't happen._ Spencer watched Ashley walk all the way to her house. Spencer stood at the window, hoping. A few minutes later she gave up hoping and curled up on her bed, and fell asleep.

The next morning Spencer woke up and just laid in her bed. She stared at her ceiling for a good hour. She didn't have the energy and it took to much effort to move. She hoped the new day would bring new thoughts, but it didn't. She still was thinking about what Ashley said to her. She couldn't take Ashley dating another girl. _Sure I was dating her brother but it's not like I want to. I am forced into dating him. She better be ready to be my girlfriend when all this stuff is over. _

Spencer finally exerted some energy and made her way to the shower. She took a nice steam filled shower for a good thirty minutes. The water was somewhat refreshing. She wrapped a towel around her dripping wet body and started to dry her hair with another towel. She walked back into her room drying her hair and Glen was sitting on her bed.

"Glen!" Spencer yelped. "Get out! Let me put on clothes!"

"Fine, fine. I just wanted to talk." Glen made hand motions and closed the bedroom door and stood in the hallway waiting.

Spencer threw on the nearest shirt and jeans. "Okay! Come in!" Spencer yelled and she jumped on her bed and sat.

"Now what did you want to talk about big brother?" Spencer smiled, having her brother home just made life seem better.

"This Kyle, Ashley thing. You have a boyfriend, but Ashley stayed over last night? What the hell Spencer." Glen paced back and forth as he talked.

"It's complicated, and Ashley didn't spend the night. She left...in a hurry." Spencer rolled her eyes at remembering last night.

"Spit it out. You obviously don't want to be with Kyle...but you are." Glen continued pacing and got angrier tone.

"Fine! Stop pacing." Glen stood still in his spot.

"Now, Kyle is blackmailing me. He walked in with a camera on me and Ashley making out barely clothed on top of each other...and he has the tape of us. Threatening to go to the press with it if I don't date him. That is why I am with that bastard." Spencer sighed after she got all that out.

Glen started pacing again, "No one threatens my sister but me! God, that little ass. What are we going to do about this? The tape...where is it?"

"If I knew, I wouldn't be with him...now would I? I can't find this damn tape; I'm starting to wonder if there even is a tape. I cannot find it...and I have looked everywhere. So has Ashley. But I gave up on looking about a week or two ago." Spencer watched Glen pace back and forth in the room.

"Have you told mom or dad?"

"Are you crazy?! That would require telling them I'm gay. Oh did I tell you mom saw me and Ashley kissing? 'Cause she did, she knows, but told me she is going to forget about it...and that I have to continue dating Kyle. God, I hate this." Spencer sighed and rolled her eyes at the thought of everything.

"I'm going to beat his ass some more. Don't worry about this Spencer I will take care of it." Glen paced back and forth more then walked out of the room.

"Glen, Glen! What are you going to do!?" Spencer got up off the bed and ran after Glen.

Glen was already grabbing his coat and car keys and was heading out the door. He shouted, "I said don't worry about it! It's going to be taken care of!"

_Glen mumbled to himself on the way out to the car, "No one treats my sister this way, no one."_ He started the car and headed off to wherever. No one knew where he was going, what he was doing; it was all up in the air.

Spencer went back into her room and paced around for a bit. _What is he going to do? Why won't he tell me? What if he kills Kyle? Or worse, gets himself killed? He doesn't know his own strength or temper! God, I wish I knew where he was going..._

Spencer heard her front door close, she quickly ran down the steps. "Oh, hi mom, hi dad." Spencer hoped it was Glen coming back.

"How are you honey? How was your night? Where's Glen?" Paula inquired.

"I'm fine, it was fine, and he's out." Spencer didn't want to talk to her mom.

"Did he say where?"

"Nope. I'm going back to my room." Spencer started to walk back up the stairs.

"Typical of him to say. Well, if he calls, you let me know dear!" Paula shouted up the stairs.

Spencer gave her an 'okay' hand motion then walked back into her room. Spencer looked out her bedroom window and she saw a car pull up at Ashley's house. She saw a girl get out, "that must be the bitch she is dating," Spencer said to herself.

Spencer saw the smile on Ashley's face as she walked up to the girl. She saw Ashley give the girl a kiss on the cheek. _That was enough_. Spencer marched down the stairs and over to Ashley's house.

Ashley was surprised to see Spencer, "Oh, hi Spencer. I'm just leaving...can we hang out later?" Ashley really didn't mean it, but she just wanted Spencer to leave and not see her with another girl.

"Sure...but first going to introduce me to your new friend?" Spencer put her hand on her hip and looked the girl up and down. _I'm so much prettier than she is._

Ashley gritted her teeth; she didn't want these two girls to meet ever. Ashley planned on telling this new girl that they couldn't date anymore. "Uh, Spencer this is Jem, Jem this is Spencer. Now that we all have met...can I talk to you for a sec alone Spencer?" Ashley tried to budge Spencer away. But she took her arm back and refused to move.

"So you're the new girl. You're nothing special." Spencer walked away after she said that.

"You're right Ash, she's a fucking bitch." Jem snapped back.

Spencer stopped in her tracks and looked at Ashley in the eyes. Ashley pleaded with her eyes not to start anything. "Oh slut, I know she didn't say that. I have had the worst month of my life and you just got in the middle of it." Spencer lunged at Jem but Ashley caught her and stopped her from doing anything.

Ashley shoved her to the street, "What the hell Spencer, cool off. What the hell is up? You don't act like this."

"Whatever that girl just pushed the wrong buttons. Have fun with your new girlfriend." Spencer walked back home.

Ashley yelled, "Don't be like this. Don't be like this."

Spencer glanced over her shoulder and didn't say a word. She walked into the house and slammed the door. Spencer's phone vibrated before she flipped it open she hoped it was Ashley as usual. _It was a __**text from Kyle:**__ The whole world sees the tape in 24hrs...so you better come talk to me_.

Just when she thought her day couldn't get any worse, it did. She left the phone open and stared at the text message. She couldn't believe it. _What the hell does he want? At least I have a whole day to figure this out...if my brother ever gets back! God, what does he want to talk about? This is just weird._

Spencer walked up to her room and laid on her bed. She flipped her iPod to random. _Konstantine by Something Corporate came on._ She loved this song, this song always made her feel better. Before she could get to the chorus Glen busted into her room and whipped out the ear buds from her ear.

"Well, that wasn't very nice Glen. I loved that song. Where the hell have you been?" Spencer sat up on her bed.

"Out. I'm going to fix this situation." Glen was vague.

"I don't like the sounds of this Glen. But look at this text, Kyle sent me." Spencer whipped out her phone and showed Glen the text message.

Glen read it, and then re-read it. Glen turned angry. "Text him back. Tell him to meet you somewhere. And guess who is going to be there? Me and my friends, he is going to get his ass kicked. And know not to mess with my sister."

Spencer sat there, she wasn't sure. She didn't want things to get out of control. "Are you sure Glen? This doesn't sound like a good idea."

Glen whipped the phone out of Spencer's hand and did it himself. _He sent __**a text to Kyle**__ saying: Meet me down by my barn house in 20 minutes__**. Kyle texted back**__: See ya there babe._

"There it's all done. He's meeting you...well me and my friends down at the barn. It's secluded we are out in the country, what can go wrong?" Glen started walking out of the room.

"Glen! This isn't right. I should come." Spencer grabbed her jacket and started to follow Glen.

"No! You are staying here, I can't look out for you and I don't want you to be apart in this. Just sit here, it will all be over in a couple hours." Glen gave Spencer a kiss on the forehead.

"What do you mean by that? Glen! Glen! Don't do anything you'll regret." Spencer watched Glen walk down the hallway. _Should she follow him? Should I go after him? I can look through the barn windows...oh god, what do I do? Kyle was a bad person, but did he deserve this? Glen wouldn't kill anyone...would he?_


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I don't have much to say besides thank you for reviewing. Thank you to those who are still reading my story. I hope you like the update, Enjoy!**

Spencer couldn't sleep, she couldn't think, she couldn't do anything. She sat on her bed clutching her knees and waited. She waited for Glen to arrive back home. It was 4:15 in the morning and she finally saw headlights shine through her bedroom window. She ran to the window and saw Glen pull up. She watched him walk into the house. She heard the front door close. Spencer wasn't sure if she should run down there and greet him. So she waited in her bedroom. She hoped he would come into her room. He didn't.

Spencer heard him walk up the stairs and slam the door to his room. _Why didn't he come in here?_ Spencer gave him about five minutes, _still nothing_. She finally muttered up the courage and knocked on his door. She wasn't sure if she was ready to hear what Glen had to say. She knocked again. She heard his voice emerge, "Go away Spencer." Glen shouted in a whisper.

Spencer whispered, she didn't want to wake her parents. "What happened Glen, I need to know." Spencer demanded as she had her ear up against the door.

"I said go away. I will talk to you in the morning and that's final." Glen said with a harsh tone.

Spencer stood at Glen's door for another minute then realized Glen wasn't going to let her in. She dragged her feet back into her room. _Spencer was thinking the worst._ She wasn't going to rest easy until she knew what happened.

Spencer clutched her pillow up against her body, she was worried. About everything. Every ounce of doubt and worry entered her mind. She finally fell asleep a few hours later. It fell as if Spencer had just fallen asleep when she heard knocking on her door. She was waiting for this knock all night long.

She sprung up off her bed and whipped open her door. "Glen? Get your ass in here." Spencer peeked her head around the door making sure her parents weren't around. "Tell me what happened." Spencer needed to know now.

Glen walked over to Spencer's bed and sat down. He rested his hands in his lap and stared at them. "I--I didn't mean to. I didn't think it'd go that far." Glen paused he could barely get those words out.

Spencer's heart stopped, "Don't tell me...spit it out Glen."

Glen looked up at Spencer, "Let's just say you don't have to worry about Kyle speaking...for a long time."

Spencer's eyes grew wide, "What? Glen you didn't. Did you kill him?!" Spencer went over a shook Glen, "spit it out damnit!!"

Glen stopped Spencer from shaking him. "Me and my friends beat him up pretty bad. _Real bad._ We knocked him around; we were having fun beating his ass up. We uh---didn't know when to stop. He uh--wasn't moving anymore and we kept kicking and kicking and punching. Then I realized he didn't look like he was breathing anymore. So we drove him to the hospital and threw him out of the car and drove away..." Glen started shaking.

Spencer sighed with relief, "At least he's not dead Glen. Glen listen to me, you did the right thing. You could have just let him lay there and die. He's in the hospital..." Spencer walked over to the TV and flipped it on. Spencer figured there had to be something in the news about Kyle. He was the son of a famous rocker; it should have been all over the news by now.

Spencer sat on her bed and flipped through channels. "THERE!" She stopped at a channel and listened. She was relieved when she heard that he wasn't dead. "Glen, it's going to be okay. The news anchor said he is in a coma. He can't talk in a coma, and I doubt he will talk if or when he wakes up. It's going to be okay. Now get out of here and hang out with your friends, I bet the cops will talk to me. 'Cause I'm his girlfriend." Spencer pushed Glen out of the room and made him leave the house.

Kyle was in a coma, he wasn't talking to anyone. The news said that he had severe brain damage and they didn't know when he was going to come out of the coma. Spencer hoped he would stay in the coma. She knew it was a bad thing to hope but with Kyle out of her life made it easier. She wasn't sure how she was going to tell Ashley this_. Should I even? Hey Ashley, we can date now, because my brother put your brother in a coma. That will go over real well with her. I don't know what to do._

Spencer heard knocking on the door. _She dreaded to answer it._ They rang the doorbell the next time. She figured she better answer it. She ran down the stairs and opened the door up. She saw Ashley crying before her. "Oh my god, come in Ashley."

Ashley walked into the house and just hugged Spencer and cried.

"Why are you crying, you don't even like your brother," Spencer just assumed that was why she was crying.

"I know, I hate him. But he's my brother...he doesn't deserve to be beaten like that. How did you know about him?" Ashley released from the hug and looked at her.

_Shit,_ "I uh saw it on the news." Spencer tried to sound convincing.

"Where's your brother at?" Ashley looked around the house and noticed no one else was home.

"He's out, why are you looking for him?" Spencer wasn't sure if she wanted to tell her. _Would she be mad at me?_

"Your brother had something to do with this, didn't he?" Ashley questioned through her tears.

Spencer couldn't lie to Ashley, she deserved the truth. "Fine. Yes. Kyle threatened to show the whole world the video tape of us...and Glen and his friends wanted to smack him around a bit, scare him into not showing the tape. He didn't mean for that to happen Ashley. You have to trust me." Spencer walked closer to Ashley.

"Don't touch me. How could you let that happen? I hate my brother, but I wouldn't wish that upon anybody!" Ashley turned angry.

"I didn't mean...Glen just wanted to scare him, throw a couple of punches. How could I have known this would happen? I didn't... it was an accident. I'm sorry about your brother, but he will get better. You can't tell anyone that Glen did it...he will go to jail. We can be together now." Spencer thought it over, and realized she shouldn't have said that last part.

"What? You did this...just for that? Spencer I can't talk to you right now." Ashley walked out of the house.

"But Ashley!" Spencer ran after Ashley but Ashley closed her front door and locked it. _Son of a bitch. Damnit. Could this day get any worse?_

Spencer walked back home and sat on her couch. _What did I just do? Did I mess things up completely? She's just...upset right now. She will see it wasn't my fault. I'll just give her some space. I'll go back over there tomorrow. Fucking Glen, I should have stopped him_.

Spencer heard the doorbell ring, she rolled her eyes. She couldn't deal with anything else at the moment. The doorbell rang again; she scoffed and marched up to the door.

"Hello, are you Spencer Carlin?" It was two detectives standing before her.

"Yes, who are you?" Spencer cracked open the door and wouldn't let them in.

"May we come in and ask you a few questions?"

"What is this about?" She knew exactly what this was about.

"Kyle Davies was brutally beat up and he is now resting in a coma. We need to ask you some questions; his father said you were his girlfriend? Is that correct?" The detective tapped his pen on his pad of paper.

"Yes, yes that's correct." Spencer tried not to freak out.

"Well, may we come in and ask you questions?"

"Nope. Not unless my parents are present. Come back later around eight they will be home." Spencer shut the door on the detectives and didn't wait for an answer.

_What have I gotten myself into? Ashley isn't talking to me. Kyle is in a coma. Cops are asking me questions. What are we going to tell our parents?_

Glen walked in the door. "Did I just see cops leaving? What did you tell them?"

"Chill Glen. I didn't tell them anything. I told them they can't speak to me unless our parents are present. But...Ashley knows. She came over crying and I let it slip--"

Glen cut her off, "You told her what exactly? Glen started pacing.

"I just told her you didn't mean to take it that far. She wouldn't tell anyone...she loves me. She wouldn't...she couldn't...I don't think," Spencer started to wonder if she would. _She ran out of the house so quickly after she found out...she wasn't sure anymore. _

"Well, you better be fucking sure Spencer! I can't go to jail. All my friends aren't talking, they won't talk. So if the cops find out, I will know who." Glen started to walk up the stairs.

Spencer shouted, "Wait!"

Glen stopped in his tracks, "What? Everything is going to be fine. When Kyle comes to, he's not going to say a word." Glen proceeded to walk up the stairs and go into his room.

Spencer stood there; she didn't know what to do. Normally, she would run over to Ashley and she would comfort her. But Ashley didn't want to see her right now. She was infuriated with Spencer. _She thinks that I indirectly caused this? I mean I let it happen, but I didn't want it to turn out like this. This is getting all so fucked up._

The next thing she knew her parents were walking through the front door. She rolled her eyes, "Hi Mom and Dad." She couldn't take any thing else for the day. She just wanted to curl up with her blanket and sleep this day off. _She hoped she was dreaming this entire day. _

"What's wrong honey?" Her father asked and walked closer to her.

"Nothing, nothing. I'm just tired is all." Spencer tried heading towards the stairs.

"Are you sure? You can talk to me about anything." Her dad walked closer to her again.

"I'm fine! I'm just tired."

"Gleeeennn!" Paula yelled up the stairs, "Come down here now!"

Glen came running down the stairs, "What? What's wrong? Everything okay?"

"Yes, something is wrong with your sister and she won't tell us what." Paula demanded an answer.

Glen shot a look at Spencer. "I uh, how should I know?"

Spencer figured she had to tell them something. "Well, Kyle got jumped or something...and he's in the hospital in a coma."

Paula walked up to Spencer, "oh my god. I will check on him first thing tomorrow. It's going to be okay honey." Paula looked over at Glen and noticed his knuckles were all bruised. She gave him a weird look and Glen quickly shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Well, uh, if you don't need me down here any longer. I'm just going to go upstairs..." Glen ran back up the stairs to his room.

"Yeah, I'm going to do the same. I'm tired." Before Paula or Arthur could get out any words, Spencer shut her door.

Paula wasn't letting it stop there. She marched up those stairs and knocked on Glen's door. Spencer heard Glen open the door and let Paula in...then she heard him close the door. _I have to find out what they are talking about._ Spencer quietly opened her door and put her hear up against Glen's.

_"Now, Glen tell me what happened. I saw bruises on your knuckles. You were punching something...or someone."_

_"Mom, I don't want to talk about it. It's nothing you have to worry about."_

_"Yes, you are my son and I have to worry about this. What did you do? Is it that bad?" Paula paused and put the dots together, "Oh my God, don't tell me...you put Kyle in the hospital!"_

_"Well someone had to do something! Since you didn't! If you would just get over the fact that Spencer is gay she wouldn't have to be with that prick in the first place." Spencer smiled, and thought, way to go Glen!_

_"Glen! I can't believe you did this. Who knows? We can't tell anybody. God, we are going to have to tell your father, have him cover this up somehow. I am not having my only son in jail, god damnit." _

_"Kyle was blackmailing Spencer, did you know that? He had a tape of her kissing Ashley. And she risked her happiness to save from embarrassing you or dad! If you wouldn't have let this happen, I wouldn't have had to take matters into my own fucking hands." Glen pounded on his dresser._

_"Whatever, this isn't going to get out. You will be fine...as long as you and Spencer keep your mouths shut. I'm going to take of this all. Just pretend nothing happened." Paula got up and started walking towards the door._

Spencer heard her mom walking towards the door and she flew back into her room. Now, the whole family knew. _This couldn't be good. Mom always does anything to keep this family in order. What does she mean, pretend this never happened? She is going to take care of this? I don't like the sound of this._


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Sorry everyone for the really delayed update! I had a busy weekend and I didn't have time to write. Thank you for continue reading the story and reviewing. This chapter is a tad short, but I tried to write as quickly as possible to get an update up. There should be another chapter posted by tonight. Sorry for the delay and again, thanks for reading and reviewing!! Enjoy!!**

Spencer woke up the next morning and she wished everything was a dream. She looked out her window, stared at Ashley's house and really wished she could rewind a day. She wouldn't of let Glen beat up Kyle the way he did. Spencer didn't want Glen to live with the guilt that he killed someone the rest of his life.

Spencer slowly dragged her feet into the shower and hoped the warm water would help wash some of her worries away. Spencer took an extremely long shower and realized the shower didn't help. She still had the same exact worries once she got out of the shower. Spencer wrapped the towel around her and walked into her room. She saw Ashley sitting on her bed. "So everyone just sits on my bed waiting while I take showers." Spencer mumbled under her breath.

Ashley looked up at her, "What?"

Spencer rolled her eyes, "Oh nothing. What's up?" Spencer inched closer to Ashley and sat next to her on the bed.

Ashley inched away from Spencer, "I just wanted to tell you my brother hasn't gotten any better. And they don't think he will wake up for a long time." Ashley sat on the bed not saying another word.

Spencer sat there; she didn't know what to say. _What does she want me to say?_ "I'm sorry, Ashley. I'm sure he will make it through it. He's a trooper." _Hope that's what she wanted me to say._

Ashley stood up, "You know the worst part in all this? That you had something to do with it... and I am trying to be mad at you. I am really trying, but I don't want to stay mad at you. Because as much as it hurts to see my brother like that in the hospital...it also makes me happy because he was the reason why _we_ couldn't be." Ashley stood still in her spot. She wasn't sure what she wanted anymore or how to feel about anything.

"I don't know what to say Ashley. I can't say I'm sorry that Kyle is in the hospital...he deserved what was coming for him. But I am sorry about how you have to go through this. I'm sorry that you have to feel bad, upset, and unsure, about anything. I just want to set the record straight that Glen was trying to protect me...us. He did what he thought he had to do and he never...never meant to have Kyle end up in a hospital in a coma. I just want you to know, that I never wanted any of this to happen, okay?"

Spencer stood up and walked closer to Ashley and held her face in her hands. "Okay? I just want you to know all of that. I'm sorry about everything." Spencer smiled and her eyes started to gloss over. She let a tear fall.

Ashley wiped the tear away, "What? What is it?"

Spencer turned around and sat on her bed, "It just hurts, you know? That we still aren't together, and how everything is so fucked up. I just---want. I'm sorry, you're brother is in the hospital. This can wait."

Ashley sat next to Spencer and set her hand on Spencer's bare leg. "I know. We will figure this all out...together."

Spencer smiled. _Did Ashley just say together? I shouldn't read into that. Well...I have to know._ "Together? You mean..."

Ashley cut off Spencer, "Together, that's what I meant. I don't mean as a couple. I can't do that right now...plus I know how much it hurts. But I still am going out with someone else."

Spencer pushed Ashley's hand off her leg, "Then...fine. Don't make this harder then it is. When you touch my leg like that, it's hard Ashley...to not be with you."

Someone knocked on Spencer's door. "Come in!" Spencer yelled.

Glen walked in the room and he saw Ashley sitting closely to Spencer, "Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to...but Spencer we need to talk when you're done." Glen started to close the door.

Spencer realized she was still just wearing a towel. _Oh this must look kind of bad. I wish it was what it looked liked_. "Hey Ash, you should go. I have to talk to my brother. Can you come by later?" Spencer just wanted to see Ashley even if they couldn't be together.

Ashley was kind of hurt that Spencer asked her to leave. It wasn't a big deal that she asked her to leave and she didn't know why she felt so hurt. "Yeah, sure. I'll come by later." Ashley got up and kissed Spencer on the lips bye before she realized she shouldn't have. Spencer was caught by surprise by the kiss, but suddenly didn't want it to stop. Spencer took Ashley's head and held it there.

"I can't Spencer... I--I didn't mean to kiss you. I'm sorry." Ashley walked towards the door.

"You can't fight this Ashley." Spencer sighed and watched Ashley close the door behind her.

Spencer threw on clothes and walked over to Glen's room. "You said you needed to talk to me?"

Glen looked tired like he hadn't slept in days, "Yeah. I uh told mom about what I did. And she is going to take care of it. So don't worry about me getting in trouble or anyone finding out. Mom said she was going to talk to dad about covering this up...so maybe she will mention the whole gay thing." Glen blankly stared.

Spencer heard all this through the door last night. But she didn't want to let Glen she was eavesdropping. "Right, I'm going to tell dad myself. I have to. Tonight at dinner, I am going to tell him. Think it's a good idea?"

"If you want...I mean dad has a lot on his plate right now. The heart attack, the Kyle thing, so if you want to tell him you're gay then I'll be there." Glen stared at the floor.

"Well, thanks for the vote of confidence Glen." Spencer sighed, "Well, if that's all you needed...I'm going back to my room."

"Spencer come on, I'm sorry. I just have a lot on my mind okay? I just got back from Iraq and I almost killed Ashley's brother. It's been a rough week, so I'm sorry I'm not excited about you coming out to dad, who just had a heart attack. Let me add that to my list of worries." Glen snapped on Spencer.

Spencer's jaw dropped, "I--I don't know what to say to that. I'm fucking sorry, it's all my fault. If it wasn't for me this wouldn't have happened. I'm sorry Glen." Spencer walked out of Glen's room and slammed her door shut.

Glen raced over to Spencer's door and tried to open it but it was locked. He yelled through the door, "I'm sorry Spencer. I'm sorry. It's just I have a lot on my mind and I snapped at you, I didn't mean to take it out on you. Forgive me Spence? I'll be there for you when you want come out, you can count on me." Glen stood at the doorway for a bit more then walked back into his room.

Spencer sat on her bed and listened to Glen speak. She knew he didn't mean to snap at her. But she didn't feel like talking to anyone at the moment. She figured it was better for her to be in her room...alone. _I can't hurt the people I love if I just lock myself in my room. Only if it was that easy..._

Spencer clutched onto her teddy bear and listened to her music. Not before long she dozed off. Spencer realized sleeping was the only time she wasn't worried, upset, or confused. Spencer suddenly awoke and glanced at her clock. She looked at the time and realized she took a long nap. It was already seven thirty, and it was passed dinner time. _That's odd no one woke me up for dinner. There goes telling dad that I'm gay. Seems there is never a perfect time for it._

Spencer threw on a sweater and made her way down the steps, "Glen? Mom? Dad?" Not a single answer, Spencer only heard the echoes of her own voice._ Okay, so no one is home. This is weird._ Spencer opened her front door and looked outside. She stared at Ashley's house; she so badly wanted to call her. She resisted for a moment, but couldn't resist any longer, "Hey Ash, want to come over? Great. See you in a sec." Spencer hung up the phone and smiled.

Being with Ashley always made her feel better. Ashley finally made her way over to her house and Spencer smiled at the sight of her. "So how was your day Ash?" Spencer didn't know what to say. She wanted to comment on how beautiful Ashley looked, but she realized she shouldn't.

"Oh, it was fine." Silence filled the room after Ashley answered. Minutes later Ashley blurted out, "I broke up with my girlfriend!" _Wow, I didn't think it was going to come out like that. _

Spencer smiled, hearing those words made her so happy. "Oh, well you want to go to my room. Just lay down and talk? I kind of had a bad day...when I wasn't sleeping." Spencer tilted her head and swayed her body; she put her hand out and waited for Ashley to grab her hand.

"I'd love to...but I don't want to rush into things," Ashley smiled and took Spencer's hand. Spencer led the way into her room and they plopped on the bed. They both laid in silence, _but the silence felt right._ They could hear each other's breathing and it soothed them both. _This is how it was supposed to be. Like this. Just the two of us._

Meanwhile, Glen and Paula were at the farm house where everything went wrong.

"This place is a bloody mess. Glen...we have to get rid of this evidence. How could you be so stupid? What did you think was going to happen when you called him out here?"

"God mom, I think about it enough. I don't need shit from you. You don't have to rub it in. I'm sorry; I'll clean up the mess. What do you want me to do?" Glen had a hose in his hands trying to spray the blood off the walls and floor.

Paula looked around, "Stop Glen, we just have to tear down this place and burn the wood. No one will suspect anything. The barn was old anyways; we will just build a new one right away." Paula walked around the scene of the crime.

"Fine." Glen threw the hose down on the floor.

"Damnit, Glen. When are you going to realize your actions have consequences? We can't always bail you out you're entire life. You're lucky we have in the past and we can this time." Paula paused. "Not a word of any this to your sister. Just you and I know. Your father and sister will not know a thing. Tomorrow, I will go to the hospital and up Kyle's morphine dosage so he will overdose and it will kill him. He can wake up and we can't have that happening. So I will take care of this. No one will suspect anything. It will be looked at like a complete accident. Glen look at me, promise to me...that you will not speak a word of this to your sister?" Paula held Glen's head in her hands, staring into his eyes.

"I promise. I will never tell them that you will forever silence Kyle in the hospital tomorrow. It's our secret."


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Thank you to all who are still reading the story! I hope you continue to enjoy it. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, I appreciate them. Here is the update!! There should be another update tomorrow, I am trying to make up for lost time. Enough of me talking, Enjoy!!**

Spencer woke up the next morning in Ashley's arms. She did not want to move, she wanted to soak up this moment forever. She looked up at Ashley and smiled. She pushed a loose strand of hair out of her face and she held onto Ashley tight._ She never wanted to let go._ Spencer wished time would stand still in this moment forever.

Ashley's phone started vibrating and it quickly awoke her. "What's that? Oh my phone." Ashley shifted her weight and sat up. Before Ashley answered her phone she gave Spencer a gentle peck on her forehead, "Morning." Spencer laid next to Ashley pouting that the perfect moment was over.

"Dad? I'm at Spencer's...oh my god. What? When did this happen? I'll be there, I'm coming." Ashley started crying.

"What's wrong Ashley?" Spencer immediately sat up and hugged Ashley.

"It's Kyle...he...he died this morning at the hospital." Ashley wept in Spencer's arms.

"I'll drive you there...let me grab my keys." Spencer got up and grabbed her keys and purse. She put out her hand, "Come on, I'll take you."

Ashley tried to force a half-smile to show how much she appreciated it, but she couldn't. She loved how Spencer was there for her and helping her through this, but she also remembered how it was her brother that did this to hers. "Thanks, I could use a ride there."

Spencer led the way out to her car and opened the door for Ashley. Spencer promised herself she was going to be there for Ashley no matter what.

Spencer wasn't sure what to say while they were driving to the hospital. She wanted to tell Ashley everything was going to be okay, but she didn't know that. Spencer wanted to come into the hospital with Ashley; after all she did spend the last month or so with Kyle. She wanted to come into the hospital but she wasn't sure if Ashley wanted her there.

"I can't believe he's gone. You know, he wasn't always an ass...wait that's a lie he was. But he was my brother; I can't believe he is gone." Ashley cried in the passenger seat of the car.

"It's going to be okay. You'll get through it, you have me." Spencer kept her eyes on the road.

Ashley reached over and clutched onto Spencer's hand. Just holding Spencer's hand instantly made Ashley feel a bit better. Spencer smiled and held onto Ashley's hand. They arrived at the hospital and Ashley opened the car door. Spencer shut of the car and was about to open her door when Ashley spoke. "Spencer, I want to go in alone. I uh--just think you shouldn't be there. My dad is in there waiting for me. I'll get a ride home with him. Thanks for taking me." Ashley had one leg out the door.

Spencer was confused, "Are you sure? I don't mind at all, I want to be here for you Ash."

Ashley stepped out of the car fully and was about the shut the door, "You've done enough. I'll come over later." Ashley slammed the car door and walked in the hospital.

Spencer sat in the car; she wasn't sure what she wanted to do yet. _Should I go in anyways? To show her that I cannot be easily pushed away? Or does she really not want me in there? Is she still blaming me for Kyle? I feel like Kyle's death is partly my fault and will Ashley always look at me like that? I can't take that. I am going to sit outside the hospital until she comes out._

Spencer decided to park the car and wait until she saw Ashley come out of the hospital. The least she could do was give her a ride home. Spencer parked her car and looked at her cell phone, hoping that Ashley would call and change her mind. She couldn't understand why Ashley didn't want her there. _I need to stop reading into this. But what if she hates me for this for the rest of her life? And then we can't have a relationship...that would kill me. Knowing that me and Ashley would never have a fair chance...because of all this._

Spencer's phone vibrated in her pocket and she answered it. "Hello?"

"Spencer? Get your ass home right away." Paula said firmly.

"Mom? Why are you home?"

"I--I left work early today. Come home."

"What's wrong?" Spencer started to get worried.

"I can't explain over the phone, just get home." _Click._

Spencer threw her phone in the passenger seat and drove away from the hospital to her house. Spencer didn't know what to think. She probably thought her mom was going to tell her Kyle died. Her mom tends to over exaggerate any problem she has...so Spencer didn't really speed home. She figured her mom was probably going to yell at her about something. Spencer arrived in the driveway and parked her car. She sat in her car for a while stalling time before she had to speak with her mother.

She finally got enough effort and made her way into the house. She looked in the living room and no mother was in sight. "Mom?" Spencer yelled.

"I'm upstairs!!" Paula shouted from the top of the stairs.

_Is she in my room? Sounded like her voice was coming from there._ Spencer started walking up the steps, "Where upstairs?"

"In Glen's room!!" Paula shouted.

_Why is she in there? This is just odd_. Spencer slowly walked into Glen's room, "Mom? What's going on, why are you in Glen's room?"

"Come here; sit down on the bed with me. I have to tell you something."

_Oh gosh, she is getting all motherly on me._ "Yeah mom? Spit it out."

"Glen left this letter. Here." Paula handed the letter to Spencer.

Spencer read the letter, _I couldn't take this. It's too much. I need to leave for awhile clear my head. I'll be back in a couple of weeks. Sorry Spencer I know how much you need me right now, I...I'll be back I promise. Spencer be strong. Love Glen. _

Spencer couldn't believe it, Glen bailed. _He has always been stronger than me. I can't believe he left...especially when I need him the most. Damnit. What am I going to do? _

"Have you tried calling him mom?" Spencer let a tear fall from her face. She still couldn't get over the fact her brother just bailed.

"Yes, a thousand times. It goes straight to voicemail, I have left a couple. But he hasn't returned any of my calls. I don't know where he is staying or where he is going. But he said a couple of weeks so we don't have much to worry about." Paula paced around the room.

"It's going to be okay, Mom. Glen will come back, it's not like him to leave and never come back. Mom...Kyle died in the hospital this morning." Spencer looked up at her mom.

Paula needed to act surprised, "Oh my gosh honey. How are you holding up? How are you? Ashley?" Paula sat by Spencer and rubbed her back.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Ashley didn't want me visiting Kyle with her, so I'm just going to pay my respects at the funeral. I'm fine though. I'm going to go to my room...if you don't mind. I am not in the talking mood." Spencer got up and walked towards her room.

"Well, if you want to talk honey. I'm going back to the hospital; I have a surgery to prep for...I'll be home late. And you father is at the office and he said he's going to be there all night. I told him to not work so much with his heart---" Spencer droned out whatever else Paula had to say, she really couldn't bring herself to care.

She walked into her room and plopped on her bed. She sighed and realized that she left her cell phone in the car. She walked back out and grabbed it and went back to her bed.

There was a new voicemail_. "Hey, Spencer its Glen. You probably know I am gone by now...and if you don't well now you know. I'm going to turn my phone off so the 'rents can't bother me...but leave a voicemail and I will return your call as soon as I listen to it. I'm sorry I bailed Spencer, but I couldn't take it anymore. After I heard Kyle died...I just need some space alone and to clear my head. So call me when you need me Spencer. Be strong, Ashley is going to need you. I love ya sis." Click._

Spencer laid in her bed after she listened to her voicemail. She smiled at the fact that Glen called her and she knew she could call him anytime. So it made her feel safe that she can call him when she needs him. She doesn't know what was getting too much for Glen, but she understood that he needed space. _He probably thinks that Kyle's death is his entire fault and he is feeling extremely guilty. I want to tell him that he stood up for me and protected me, I hope he knows that. _

Spencer stared out the window from her bed and noticed headlights pulling into Ashley's driveway. She ran to the window and looked out. She saw Ashley walking into the house with another girl. _What the hell? I thought she broke up with her...I shouldn't start anything Ashley had a rough day...oh but I can't help it._

Spencer marched downstairs and across the street. She walked up to Ashley and the other girl. "Oh it's you again." The other girl put her hands on her hips.

Spencer looked at the girl, "I don't even want to deal with you right now, but Ashley what is this?"

"I'm sorry Spencer; I needed someone to talk to." Ashley stared at the ground as she spoke.

"...And you can't talk to me? I'm right here; I am here for you Ashley. Can we talk about this away from her?" Spencer grabbed Ashley's arm and dragged her to the end of the driveway.

"I'm sorry Spencer; she is just here to talk to. I'm broken up with her...I just needed to talk to someone. I feel confused and sad and upset about how my brother just fucking died. Can we talk tomorrow?" Ashley stood there staring at the ground.

"I'm sorry about your brother I truly am Ashley. But why can't you talk to me? I want to be here for you. I need you to let me be." Spencer held Ashley's hands.

"I don't know. I look at you Spencer and it makes me so happy I want to smile and just kiss those beautiful lips of yours. But I look at you and I see your brother...and how he caused my brother's death. I just can't handle that right now. It's bad enough that he is gone, but knowing that you're brother did this, makes it hard." Ashley started to cry again.

"Shh. Ash don't cry. I know, I know. I'm sorry you have to think about that. I love you and we can get through this, get past it. Right?" Spencer lifted up Ashley's chin and wiped away her tears.

"I need time to think about all this. I love you Spencer, I know that. It's hard not to look at you and think that your brother did this to mine. I'm sorry, just...come over tomorrow okay? Please let me talk to Jem tonight." Ashley gave Spencer a peck on the cheek and started to walk away.

"I'll be over tomorrow Ashley. I promise, I'm going to be here for you." Spencer shouted to Ashley's back as she was walking away.

Spencer walked home with her head down.

_Glen's gone. Ashley is shutting me out. Glen is the reason Ashley can't look at me. Ashley is the reason Glen has left. What am I doing to everyone around me? I don't know how long I can take this. I am hurting everyone around me...and it's all my fault. If it weren't for me...I wouldn't have met Ashley and her brother would still alive. Maybe it would have been better if I had never met her. I feel as if I am ruining everyone's lives around me. All I ever wanted was to be with Ashley, why does it have to be this hard?_


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, I am glad you are still loving the story! And do continue reviewing, I love to read you're reactions and thoughts. Thank you to everyone who is still reading it…means a lot to me. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it. I'm not sure if I will be able to update this weekend, I have a busy weekend with work…lame I know. But I will try my best. Anyways, enjoy!!**

Spencer had a hard time sleeping that night. She tossed and turned. She couldn't stop thinking about Ashley and Glen. She wanted to know Glen was safe wherever he ran off to. She wanted her big brother to help her through this, but she was trying to understand his reasons for leaving. Spencer sat up on her bed in the middle of the night and looked out her window. She hoped she would see Ashley walking up to her house in the middle of the night...but that never happened.

She looked over at Ashley's house and wondered what was going on behind those walls. _Why couldn't she talk to me? Does this mean she is never going to be comfortable talking to me? What if she tells Jem about the whole Glen beating up Kyle thing? She couldn't...she wouldn't betray me like that._

Spencer reached for her phone and called Ashley. It went straight to voicemail. _She never turns off her phone. What is going on in there with Jem? What kind of name is Jem anyways? _

Spencer finally dozed off to the sound of her own worries. She woke up a few hours later and dreaded the fact that she had to return to school. She didn't want to go back, she wasn't ready. She didn't want to see all those people. _Are they going to look at me differently? Well, why would they? Just 'cause my boyfriend...who wasn't even really my boyfriend died? _

Spencer sighed and grabbed her things and walked out the door. She walked over to Ashley's house and rang the door bell. Ashley's father answered. "Hi, Mr. Davies, um can I talk to Ashley?"

Mr. Davies stared at Spencer for a few seconds before answering, "Oh, sorry. Sure sure, come in. You're her friend Spencer right?"

Spencer smiled, she talked about me? "Yes, I am. I'll just let myself in her room?"

"Yes, go right ahead." He made a hand motion for her to walk up the stairs.

Spencer quietly knocked on the door before she let herself in. "Ash? I just wanted to stop by before I went to school...how are you holding up?"

Ashley was under her comforter and she slowly lifted the comforter away from covering her face, "I'm fine. Thanks for stopping by. You're going to be late for school." Ashley was abrupt and to the point. Spencer didn't like how harshly she was speaking.

"I'd be late to anything if that means a couple minutes with you. You want to talk? Hang out for a bit?" Spencer was really trying.

"I'd rather be by self right now. You can come back after school." Ashley laid down the entire time as she spoke.

"You'd rather be by yourself? I'm not sure that's a good idea, but whatever you don't want me around for some reason. I'll stop by after school." Spencer turned around and walked towards the door.

"Wait. Stop. Come back." Ashley shouted from her bed and got up.

Spencer smiled and turned around slowly.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to be so ... mean." Ashley walked over to Spencer and put her hand on her shoulder.

_Spencer wanted to melt with that one touch._ She wanted to fall to her knees, but she wanted to know why Ashley was touching her. Ashley smiled and held Spencer's head. She leaned in and kissed Spencer with her soft lips. Their lips touched and they both felt whole again. Spencer grabbed a hold of Ashley's head and forcefully kissed her back. Spencer had been wanting this moment for a long time..._but it didn't feel perfect._ Ashley grabbed a hold of Spencer's belt and dragged her over to her bed. Ashley threw Spencer on the bed and Ashley straddled on top of her. Ashley caressed Spencer's face and brushed hair out of her face. "You're so beautiful." Ashley muttered before she leaned in and kissed Spencer on the neck. Spencer held her eyes tight and melted each time she felt Ashley's warm lips touch her neck. Spencer reached down and went to lift off Ashley's shirt...but then she hesitated.

"Stop. Get off." Spencer mumbled and pushed Ashley off her.

"What's wrong? Oh right school." Ashley sat on her bed.

"No, it didn't feel right. I feel like you are only touching me and kissing me, to get your brother's death off your mind."

"So..?"

"So? It's not supposed to happen this way. I got to go; I'll come by after school." Spencer gave Ashley a peck on the cheek and walked out of the room.

Ashley watched Spencer walk away and smiled. She was glad Spencer stopped her. She wanted to kiss Spencer, but she knew she was doing it for the wrong reasons. She was still in remorse about Kyle and she mainly wanted to feel better.

Spencer hopped in her car and drove off to school. She so wanted to finish what Ashley and her had started, but she knew it wasn't the right way or time. She so badly wanted to go back and have their gentle lips caressed each other's. Spencer hoped Ashley wasn't too offended she pushed her off...but she had to. _It didn't feel right, letting her touch me. When I knew she was just trying to make herself feel better...and she was trying to get the fact her brother is dead off her mind. That's not how it was supposed to happen. We are both are supposed to want to be together...just to be together...not for any other reasons._

Spencer pulled up in the parking lot and sighed a huge sigh. She did not want to come back to school after all this. She got out of the car and slammed her door. Tons of people greeted her and asked how she was holding up. "Oh my gosh, I heard about Kyle...are you okay?" Brittany asked her. Brittany was her supposedly best friend. But she really didn't know a real thing about her..._like Ashley did._

"I'm fine, Britt. He's in a better place now." Spencer smiled and Brittany gave her a hug. "Thanks guys...I don't think I want to do cheerleading anymore."

Everyone in their little group gasped. "What? Why?!" Brittany shouted.

"It just...doesn't feel like there is a point to it anymore...ya know? Kyle isn't going to be on the football team anymore...so doesn't everyone expect me to not cheer anymore?" Spencer just wanted an excuse to leave the cheerleading squad. It hasn't felt right being on the team for a while.

"No! I think he would want you to cheer. Plus, don't do it for him...do it for yourself. Think about it...you're in a fragile state right now. Don't go making any harsh decisions." Brittany rubbed Spencer's arm trying to console her, "Take the day off practice...I'll lead the squad go home and rest."

"Yeah sure you're right. I'll think about it. Thanks for being a good friend." Spencer smiled and the bell rang. She headed to class was dreading her day. Everyone was already looking at her differently_. First my dad had a heart attack and now Kyle is dead...people act differently around tragedy. I don't like it...why can't everyone treat me normal?_

Spencer went through classes having teachers tell her _'sorry for her loss'_ when Spencer really didn't feel like she had a loss. The only loss she had was Glen, he's gone. And Ashley_...I'm not even sure where I stand with her_. All her teachers kept asking about how her dad was holding up. By the end of the day she was tired of saying_ 'thank you and fine'_ to everyone. She was ready for this day to be over. She was ready to go home and see Ashley.

The long day finally came to an end and Spencer was ready to get out of there. Spencer walked up to her car and was about to get in when a football player grabbed her arm. "Spencer, right?"

Spencer shook the guys hand off her arm, "Yeah?"

"Hey, you were Kyle's girlfriend...he talked about you a lot. I'm Matt, me and all the guys we're pretty close with Kyle. Um yeah me and some of the guys are throwing and farewell-we-wish-you-were-here party for Kyle this weekend if you want to come. It will mean a lot to him." Matt looked Spencer up and down. She could tell he was checking her out and he moved closer to her.

"Yeah, I'll think about it." Spencer just wanted to leave.

"Can I have your number so I can call you with the details? And we can maybe hang out sometime?" _There is was...the real reason he came over to talk to me. He just knows I'm single again...too bad your not my type!_

"Yeah sure. Here." Spencer wrote down her number and handed it to him. "Is that all? 'Cause I need to get going..."

"Yeah, I got to get to practice anyways. Later."

Spencer hopped in the car and sped all the way home. She walked into her house and really wished Glen was home. She walked into his bedroom and plopped on his bed. She called out his name, "Glen?" Hoping for an answer.

"Honey?" Paula came walking out of Glen's bathroom.

"Mom? What are you doing in Glen's bathroom?" Spencer was puzzled, "I didn't see you're car in the driveway..."

"Oh it's parked by the barn on the farm...I'm tearing it down and burning it. It was old...and we needed a new one anyways. So I just rode our golf cart back to the house. I was in Glen's room because I miss him already honey. How was you're first day back in school?"

"It was fine...I'm thinking of quitting the cheerleading squad."

"What? Why honey? You have been doing that since you were twelve. You love to cheer!" Paula came and sat by Spencer.

"I don't know...I'm not seeing a point to it anymore. I think I'd rather concentrate on student council and studying and applying for colleges and stuff." Spencer sighed and realized she really wanted to quit the squad.

"Well, it's been a rough year so far...do what you want honey. If you don't feel like you are enjoying it anymore, then quit."

Spencer looked at her mother confused. _Was she actually encouraging me to quit the team? This is so unlike her, when did she become a mom?_ "Uh thanks mom. I'm glad you are behind me on this one. I'm going over to Ashley's."

Paula kissed Spencer on the forehead goodbye, "Be home by 7, your father is coming home for dinner."

"All right see you at 7," Spencer got up and walked out the door. She was ready to see Ashley, she had been longing for this moment all day. She wasn't sure how well it would go after what happened in the morning, but she was hoping she could get another kiss or two out of Ashley. She wanted her lips to touch hers...nothing else mattered when they did.

Spencer walked over to Ashley's house and let herself in. She figured Ashley was expecting her anyways. She walked up into her room and her jaw dropped. She rubbed her eyes, she wasn't sure if she was having a nightmare.

"Ashley...What the fuck?" Spencer stared at Ashley lying in bed with Jem. Ashley had a sheet cover her body as she jumped up with Spencer startled her.

"I---I had to get him off my mind...I kept thinking about my brother...Glen...my brother. I needed it to stop just for a while."

A tear fell down Spencer's face. She wiped it away. "How could you?" Spencer turned around and walked out of the door.

"It meant nothing Spencer! Nothing..." Ashley shouted to Spencer as she was running down the stairs. Ashley slowly regretted what she did...she didn't know it was going to affect everyone around her..._especially the person she loved the most._


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Here is the long awaited update…I know it's a little short but I just wanted to update it as quickly as I could. I'll be posting another chapter tomorrow…and this chapter is mostly drama free…but to those who love the drama in the story…don't worry next chapter you will be satisfied. Thank you for all the reviews I appreciate it. Thank you to all those who are reading, I appreciate that too. Enough of me, enjoy!**

It was the two days later and it was time for Kyle's funeral. Spencer hadn't returned any of Ashley's phone calls nor has she spoken to her since she found her in bed with Jem. She couldn't bring herself to speak to her. She knew they weren't officially going out or anything, but still it hurt to see her like that. Spencer wanted to be the only person to be able to make Ashley feel better. Obviously, she wasn't the only one.

_I know she just slept with her to get her brother's death off her mind. But does that make it right? I don't know how I can forgive her. I know she is hurting, I know that...but doesn't she see that this is hurting me just as much?_

Spencer got dressed for the funeral and looked out her window. She saw Ashley making her way over to her house and she rang the door bell. Spencer remained looking out her window and she wasn't ready to answer the door. She realized she didn't want to start anything before the funeral, so it was better not to answer the door. She heard Ashley try ringing again but Spencer didn't answer. Spencer watched Ashley walk back home and get into the car with her dad.

Once Ashley and her father pulled away Spencer walked down the steps and got into her car and left. She drove by herself to the funeral and drove with the windows and top down. Feeling the wind brush through her hair gave her this calming feeling..._like somehow everything was going to turn out fine. _She wasn't sure if she wanted Ashley to see her at Kyle's funeral or not. She had to go to pay her respects to him, even though he accounted for all the misery in the past month or so.

Spencer parked and she walked into the funeral service. She saw Ashley standing at the front of the crowd crying. Ashley turned around slightly like she felt Spencer's presence. Spencer quickly dodged behind a six foot bald man. Once Spencer figured the coast was clear she walked back to her place. She stared at Ashley from behind and she felt bad she wasn't standing next to her side. She told Ashley she would always be there for her no matter what, and she wasn't one to break promises.

Spencer slowly made her way through the crowd. She hesitated once she got towards the middle. She stopped at the sight of Jem. She was standing inches away from Ashley. Spencer looked. _They aren't holding hands or anything. That little bitch, how could she even come? She doesn't...err._ Spencer kept on walking; she wasn't going to let this girl get the best of her. She made her way through the crowd and she saw Ashley's hand resting by her side. Spencer bumped Jem out of her way. She came in between Jem and Ashley and slid her fingers in between Ashley's and gripped her hand.

Ashley gripped tightly back, she knew it was Spencer. The hand she had been longing for the entire time she was standing there. "I thought you wouldn't show up, after the way I treated you," Ashley whispered between her sobs.

Spencer smirked, "It's fine, I'm here for you." Spencer held Ashley's hand and Ashley leaned into Spencer's shoulder and sobbed quietly. Ashley was sobbing for Kyle but at the same time she was crying for joy that Spencer came back.

_Spencer had come to be my side. What have I done? I screwed all of this up. She will always be here for me, but will she still be after the way I acted? I doubt it. I can't loose her, I will do everything I can to keep here right here beside me._

Spencer stuck around until the funeral crowd cleared. She let Ashley have her last moments with her brother alone. She was just waiting to offer Ashley a ride back home. "Hey, Ash you need a ride home?"

Ashley looked up at Spencer and gave her a half-smile. "Yeah, let me go tell my dad. I'll meet you by your car."

Spencer walked back to the car. She didn't want to give Ashley the wrong impression. She was just trying to be there and be a good friend. Spencer didn't want to jump back into things_, although she really wanted to._ Every time she hugged Ashley she always wanted more out of it. But she still has not forgotten what she saw two nights ago at Ashley's house. _That memory is forever burned into her mind. _

Ashley hopped in the passenger seat. "So you want me to take you home?" Spencer asked Ashley as she started up the car.

"I need to do something. I realized when I'm doing something, I'm not thinking as much. I feel better when I'm doing something it keeps my mind off things. So let's do something." Ashley smiled and reached over and held Spencer's hand.

Spencer looked down and Ashley's hand on top of hers. She wanted to keep it there, but she had to pull back. She wasn't going to let Ashley be forgiven that easily. "Where do you wanna go? We can go anywhere." Spencer smiled, "Wait don't answer...I know the perfect place."

Spencer didn't say another word and drove off. "Where are we going Spence?"

Spencer looked over at Ashley, "It's a surprise...but I guarantee you will love it." Spencer drove and kept her eyes on the road. She just wanted to think about the place they were going. She didn't want to dwell on the fact of what Ashley did.

Ashley couldn't take the silence anymore, "I'm sorry Spencer. It meant nothing, she means nothing, and it was just an out. I never meant to hurt you. I'm sorry. You want to talk about it?"

Spencer looked over at Ashley then glanced back at the road. "No, I don't. I can't think about that, 'cause when I do, I just get upset. I just want to have a good time and hang out with you right now. I just want to enjoy this while we have it. 'Kay?"

Ashley didn't say another word about it. She got what she needed to say off her chest. She just hoped that Spencer would and could forgive her. If she could turn back time she would definitely have not did what she had done. She so badly wanted to erase that from her memory. Each passing day, just made their relationship that much more complicated. But at this very moment everything felt perfect.

_There were no worries. No expectations. Just the two of them trying to reach a destination._

Spencer stopped the car, "We're here!"

Ashley made a baffling face, "Okay? Where are we exactly? And why am I staring at corn fields?"

Spencer smiled, "Come on get out of the car," Spencer dragged Ashley out of the car, "It is a corn field you are right. But it is a maze. My family made this a while back for like our town's fair. We do it every year, and this is our corn maze."

"...And? We are going to what walk through the maze?" Ashley walked closer to the corn field.

"No actually. I am going to race you to the end." Spencer smirked.

"How is that fair? You know this maze...your family built it."

"Actually, I never did it. So really I don't have an advantage...what are you scared you are going to loose?" Spencer was trying to get Ashley pumped up for the challenge.

"Oh you bring it on Ms. Carlin. And what does the winner get?" Ashley wanted to make stakes.

"How about when we get to the end, winner picks what they want." Spencer smiled, "ready? Set. Go."

They both knew exactly what they wanted. They both were racing for the same thing..._each other._ With every step and every deep breath they were an inch closer to their prize. Spencer stopped midway in the maze. _Am I sure I want this? I don't want to forgive Ashley so quickly, because then she will just assume she can be forgiven that easily all the time. Maybe I should give her the benefit of the doubt. I know she didn't mean to hurt me, I know why she did what she did. Screw thinking about this...start hauling ass Spencer. _

Spencer picked back up and starting running towards the end of the maze. She could see light peering from the exit of the maze. She saw Ashley waiting for her on the outside. Spencer slowly walked out to Ashley.

"Someone needs to get into better shape. I've been standing here for a good five minutes...I didn't know you were that slow." Ashley smiled and laughed as she teased Spencer.

Spencer caught her breath and stood before Ashley not saying a word. "So you won. What did you win?" Spencer questioned standing before her.

"This." Ashley walked closer into Spencer. Ashley grabbed a hold of Spencer's head and kissed her on the lips. At first Spencer left her eyes open and just stared at Ashley in shock of the initial kiss. Then Spencer held her eyes tight and embraced the kiss. Their lips touched and their tongues grazed the inside of their mouths. _It was as if they both had won. _


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews!! Thanks for continuing to read! It is all greatly appreciated. I don't have much to say besides, enjoy!!**

Spencer embraced the kiss from Ashley but then suddenly pushed her off. "There, you won. You got your kiss. Ready to go home?"

Ashley scoffed, "Well, that's not all I wanted. Fine, let's go." Ashley was a tad bit angry that Spencer pushed her off. But at the same time she understood why Spencer wasn't letting her in again.

They started walking back towards the car. Spencer wasn't sure where she stood anymore. She was so unsure about everything in her life. Spencer looked over at Ashley as they walked in silence. Spencer reached over and grabbed a hold of Ashley's hand. Ashley looked up over at Spencer and smiled in surprise. They reached the car and Spencer continued holding her hand.

Ashley needed to know, "So what is going on with us?"

Spencer smiled and finally realized what to say. _She knew she wanted Ashley it was just as simple as that_. "Ashley, I'm ready for us. I want there to be an us. I'm going to forget about the past months. I'm going to forgive you and how much you hurt me with that whole Jem thing. I realized how precious life is and how life can be taken away from us in a second flat. So, if you're willing, I want you to be my girlfriend." Spencer smiled and tilted her head as she looked at Ashley.

Ashley looked back at her. _How could she say no to that?_ "I would really love that. I'm sorry, Spencer. I never meant to hurt you; I just couldn't deal with...everything. I'm truly sorry and I would never do that to you. I want to be your girlfriend, Ms. Carlin." Ashley smiled, leaned in, and gave Spencer a gentle kiss on the lips.

"Want to come over?" Ashley asked in a sweet tone.

"No, I think I should get home. My parents are expecting me." Spencer hopped in the car and they headed back to their houses.

"What's wrong?" Ashley stroked Spencer's face.

Spencer leaned into Ashley's hand and smiled, "Nothing, my parents are just expecting me. You want to join us for dinner?"

"I probably shouldn't..." Ashley smiled, "But I'd love to."

"Awesome. My parents are going to be happy to have you."

They drove back to the house hand in hand. Spencer was happy that they were back together, but she still had some insecurities. She shook them off and realized she wanted Ashley and that is all that should matter. She still had to deal with her father, though. _Glen is gone and he isn't going to be able to help me through this. I want to tell dad about me and Ashley. I'm so glad we are back together, with all the shit that is going on around us, it feels as if being together drowns all that out._

Spencer and Ashley slowly walked into the Carlin house. Spencer started to dread every step she took. She finally thought she was ready to come out to her father. She had been hiding who she truly was for so long she ready to tell her father. But she still had some insecurity about telling her father, she wasn't sure how he would react. He has been oddly loving and more father-like since he had his heart attack, but Spencer still wasn't sure how he would take his only daughter being gay.

She didn't tell Ashley what she was about to spring upon her father. Plus, she still wasn't sure if she was going to go through with it. So just incase she didn't, she didn't want Ashley being disappointed in her.

"Hi, Mom. Hi Dad!" Spencer ran up to them and gave them both a big hug. Spencer felt oddly happy to be around her parents. "Oh, Ashley's staying for dinner is that cool?"

"The more the merrier." Arthur said, "Come take a seat, dinner will be ready in about five." Arthur briefly stepped out of the room. "So Ashley how have you been? And I'm so sorry about Kyle. He was such a good boy; we really liked him dating Spencer. They were such a good couple."

Spencer wasn't sure how Ashley was going to react to what her father said. She sunk into her chair and bit her lip.

"Thanks Mr. Carlin. Kyle was a good brother, but he's in a better place now..." Ashley didn't want to talk about Kyle any more. She never really liked him she just was sad to see him leave. He was her brother after all. She cried for him and that's all she can really do. He is gone now and she was not going to wallow in it any longer.

"Well then, time for dinner. Come on girls." Arthur walked into the dining room and sat down.

"Time for grace. Ashley would you like to say a few words for Kyle?" Paula stared at Ashley waiting for a response.

"No, I'd rather not..." Ashley didn't feel comfortable saying grace... _I have never said grace before in my life and I am not going to start now._

Spencer was in a bubbly mood. She was happy that she finally got what she had been longing for...Ashley. She took her foot and played with Ashley's under the table as her mother was saying grace. Arthur and Paula had their eyes closed and heads down as Paula was saying grace. Spencer was looking up at staring at Ashley. She took her foot and ran it up Ashley's leg. She accidentally let out a giggle.

"Spencer! I'm saying grace...what's wrong with you?" Paula bickered at Spencer then put her head down and finished off grace.

Ashley stuck out her tongue at Spencer and poked fun that her mom just yelled at her. Ashley took her leg and did the same thing back to Spencer. Ashley couldn't help but let out a giggle.

"You two are awfully giggly and happy for just coming home from a funeral. What's wrong with you two? Ashley's brother just died, can't you show some remorse?"

"It is my brother we are talking about here…I can giggle if I want to. Shouldn't you be happy that I'm not down in the dumps?" Ashley had to say something, Paula was getting out of line.

"Sorry mother...that we aren't wallowing in self-pity about someone's death. We can't do anything about it...he died and we are trying to live our lives and not be concerned about something we can't control. It's not like we killed him." Spencer did not know why Paula was so upset they were giggling.

That last sentence hit a nerve in Paula..._after all she was the one who killed Kyle,_ "That's it. Go to your room Spencer! Take Ashley with you."

Spencer threw her fork down on her plate as it made a loud clanking noise. Ashley soon followed Spencer into her room. "What's up with your mom?"

"Beats me, but she isn't going to bring down my mood...I think that's all she wanted." Spencer sat on her bed and Ashley sat next to her. They just wanted to be next to each other, because all of a sudden they couldn't get enough of it.

"I'm so glad it's finally just us. That we are finally together. I've missed you so much, Spencer," Ashley gently stroked Spencer's cheek.

Spencer closed her eyes and leaned into Ashley's hand. Ashley's touch made Spencer blush and get goose bumps. She smiled and leaned over and kissed Ashley on the lips. Spencer sat on the bed as Ashley straddled on top of her. Ashley came out from the kiss and smiled. They both smiled at each other. "God, I have missed you so much. I love you Ashley." Spencer's soft lips touched Ashley's. Spencer slowly laid down on the bed and Ashley straddled on top of her. Ashley and Spencer continued to kiss; they were making up for lost time. Every time their lips touched it became more passionate. Spencer started slipping off Ashley's shirt when they were interrupted.

Arthur came walking into the room, "Spencer I wanted to apologize for the way your mother acted---oh my god. Spencer?!" Arthur was standing still he was completely and utterly shocked. Spencer immediately took her hand out from under Ashley's shirt and Ashley quickly jumped off and stood on the opposite side of the room as Spencer.

"Dad I--I" Spencer was speechless; this wasn't how she was supposed to come out to her dad. _Just say it Spencer, it's now or never._ "I'm gay dad...and Ashley is my girlfriend." Spencer walked over to Ashley and grabbed a hold of her hand. Ashley smiled and tightly grabbed Spencer's hand assuring her she was going to be by her side.

"Spencer..." Arthur paused and it killed Spencer. She couldn't read her father; she wasn't sure how he was going to react. Spencer stood strong and acted confident as she held Ashley's hand.

Arthur slowly walked over to Spencer and Ashley and he stared directly into Spencer's eyes. He lifted his hand and back handed her across the face, "You aren't allowed to be gay in my house. I'm a senator!"

Spencer rubbed her face, "And I thought you fucking changed dad!" Ashley stood in silence next to Spencer. She didn't know what to do; she rubbed Spencer's back in comfort.

"Get out of my house Spencer; I can't talk to you right now. GET! LEAVE!" Arthur pushed Spencer onto the floor and walked out of the room.

Spencer stayed on floor and she tried to hold in her tears as long as she could...but the tears managed to make their way to her cheek. "Shh, it's going to be okay Spencer. He will cool down and realize he made a mistake. Come on; let's go over to my house."

Ashley helped Spencer up off the floor and they walked over to her house. Ashley held onto Spencer's hand tightly as they walked in silence.

Once they got to Ashley's room, Ashley gave Spencer a nice long kiss on the lips. She was hoping that would cheer her up some. Ashley could see the red mark on Spencer's face from where Arthur slapped her. Ashley rubbed her cheek and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "All better now." Ashley smiled. "Hey I'm going to jump into the shower. It's been a long day, do you mind?"

Spencer smiled, "Not at all, I could use some time alone anyways." Spencer kissed Ashley and Ashley walked into her bathroom and turned on the shower.

Spencer lay on Ashley's bed and looked at the ceiling. She barely had anytime at all to think before she felt her phone vibrating in her back pocket. She hoped it was her dad calling to apologize for the way he acted. She looked at the caller ID and it was an unknown number. Hmm, maybe it is Glen. Spencer answered the phone, "Hello?"

_"Spencer?"_

_"Yeah? Who's this?" Spencer was confused it was an unfamiliar guy's voice._

_"This is Matt, remember the guy from the football team?" _

_Spencer rolled her eyes and remembered..."Oh yeah...so how's it going? Why are you calling?" Spencer just wanted to get to the point; she already had a long enough day._

_"I have the video tape."_

_It was as if she was in a scene from a movie and the camera was closing in on her face. Her jaw dropped and time stood still, she wasn't sure if she heard him right, "Excuse me?"_

_"I have the video tape...the one Kyle took of you and Ashley and by the way so hot. I want to see some of that action."_

_Spencer was speechless, she thought the video tape died with Kyle, "How--how?"_

_"Well, when Kyle was punched at that party by your brother he was worried that your brother would try something. So, he gave the tape to me and told me if anything happened to him...to blackmail you with the tape. So here I am, blackmailing you." Matt chuckled a bit._

_Spencer wanted to scream at the top of her lungs, she couldn't believe it. "What the hell do you want from me?" _

_"Money, I know your family has it...and I want it. I'm not going to try and break you and you're girlfriend up or anything...although I wouldn't mind seeing that action live, you two are pretty damn hot. I just want you're money." _

_Spencer felt a tear fall from her face. Her tear was part anger, "Dream on, you are never seeing anything, creep. What's your price?" Spencer was willing to pay to finally get this tape out of her hair. Her dad knew she was gay, but she couldn't humiliate him in the public eye like that, he would never forgive her._

_"I'll be calling you back with a price, but be ready to pay up to get this tape." Click._

Spencer tossed her phone aside on the bed and just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. She couldn't believe it, her worse nightmare was back. Ashley walked out of the shower with a towel wrapped around her. "What's wrong? Who were you talking to on the phone?"

Spencer looked up at Ashley, she couldn't tell her about the tape, at least not yet. Everything was going so well with them, besides the whole dad freak out thing_. I can't tell Ashley at least not yet. I don't want to ruin this already...we just got it started._ "Oh no one, nothing important just one of my cheerleading buds. Come sit." Spencer smiled and pretended everything was perfectly fine.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, I love hearing your thoughts and inputs on the story. Thanks for still reading the story. And here is your update…enjoy!!**

"I lied, there's something wrong." Spencer stopped kissing Ashley and looked up at her. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to spoil the moment, but I can't hold this in any longer."

Ashley sat up on the bed and listened. She was starting to get worried, "What is it Spence? Spit it out."

Spencer sat up on the bed, "The uh-um blackmail tape is back... this kid named Matt wants money for it." Spencer bowed her head and looked in her lap. She was afraid to see Ashley's response.

Ashley sat stunned, but quickly got over it. "Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it." Ashley had money and she didn't want Spencer to worry about this tape any longer. Ashley was once and for all going to get rid of the tape that had successfully ruined their lives over the past couple months.

"But--how? I don't want--" Ashley cut off Spencer.

"Shh," Ashley put her finger up to Spencer's lips, "I will take care of it, that's all that matters. You don't have to worry about a thing. We have each other that is all that matters."

Spencer didn't say another word, but she was still skeptical. She didn't want Ashley to take care of it all, just because she wasn't like that. She was the kind of person who took charge and care of things herself. _I need Glen._

Spencer blew off her worries for Ashley. She smiled and leaned in and kissed Ashley on the lips. Ashley tightened her eyes and forcefully kissed back. Their soft lips grazed each other as they slid their tongue into each other's mouths. Spencer was on top of Ashley and she suddenly stopped kissing her on the lips. She brushed a stray hair out of Ashley's face and smiled. "You're amazing and gorgeous." Spencer moved down to her neck and she ran her warm tongue down Ashley's neck. Ashley moaned..._it was her weak spot._ Spencer lifted off Ashley's shirt and kissed in a line down to her belly button. Once Spencer got to her belly button and was ready to unbutton her jeans she looked up at Ashley for approval. Ashley smiled and reached down to help unbutton her jeans. Ashley was ready for this. Spencer was ready for this. They had been longing for this moment for what seems like forever.

They held passionate kisses all night._ Sighs of relief escaped their breathes. _Moans of pleasure._ Whispers of love_. They were finally together and the no one was stopping them this time. They fell asleep in each other's arms and woke up the same way.

They basked in each other's presence as they couldn't stop smiling. _Every look began with a smile. _They were happy.

"So want to ditch school today? Considering we are an hour late already?" Spencer sat up and played with Ashley's hair as she spoke.

Ashley smiled as she stroked Spencer's arm, "Hell yes. How about you say we get out of bed and get dressed."

Spencer smiled ear to ear, she couldn't stop smiling. She leaned in and gave Ashley a kiss on the lips then jumped out of bed looking around for her clothes. "So what do you have in mind for today?"

Ashley talked as she threw on some clothes, "Oh, I don't know. We will figure something out. I wish we in L.A then we could just go to the beach, relax. But out here in lame Ohio no beaches...just corn." Ashley giggled.

"Hey, we are talking about the place I grew up in. But a beach huh? I have never been to a beach before, sounds like a good idea." Spencer grinned, only wishing they could jump on a plane and fly to L.A and leave everything behind.

Ashley had a confused look on her face, "...You want to fly out to L.A for the day?" Ashley was serious. She didn't mind where she was, as long as she was with Spencer.

"Oh, only if it was that easy." Spencer finished dressing and hopped onto the bed and sat next to Ashley. She rested her hand on Ashley's leg as she held Ashley's hand.

Ashley jumped off the bed, "It is that easy, and we can catch the first flight out of here...then be back tomorrow morning. No one has to know, just us. The beach. What do you say?"

Spencer was shocked, she wasn't sure if Ashley was serious, "Are you serious?"

Ashley excitedly jumped around the room, "Yes, I'm serious. Come on Spencer, what do you have to loose?"

Spencer realized she didn't have anything to loose. _She was temporarily kicked out of her house. Her father hated who she was. Her brother was out gallivanting somewhere. And my mom...well she was still a bitch._ "Nothing," Spencer smiled and she was ready to leave it all behind for a day, "I have nothing to loose. Let's go, I'm in."

Ashley ran up to Spencer and kissed her on the lips. She shouted, "Yes! She's in. All right let's grab some clothes I have an extra bathing suit for you. This is going to be awesome. I miss those L.A beaches." Ashley kept talking to herself about how excited she was to be going back to L.A. She ran around the room throwing in random items for the both of them into a duffel bag.

Spencer sat on the bed watching Ashley run back and forth from room to room. She figured she didn't have to do anything. She laughed at how Ashley was frantically running around mumbling to herself. Spencer got up, walked over to Ashley, and hugged her from behind. She rested her head in the crook of Ashley's shoulder. "I love you." Ashley turned around so they were face to face and gave her a peck on the lips.

Spencer smiled and let out a giggle, "Ash, we are only going for a day. Come on, let's get out of here." Spencer grabbed the duffel bag out of Ashley's hand and zipped it up. Spencer set out her hand and waited for Ashley to grab a hold of it.

Ashley smiled and realized how much she loved Spencer. She put her hand in Spencer's and they walked out the door. They were heading to L.A., leaving all their troubles and worries behind.

A few hours later they landed at the LAX airport. Spencer looked up in the sky in amazement. She was like a kid at a candy store; everything was so amazing to her. "Wow, you used to live here? This is so different from what I am used to. I feel like I am going to get lost!" Spencer shouted and stood closer to Ashley.

"Naw, you have me as you're tour guide. Hey, let's catch a cab to my dad's apartment out here. Then we can head to the beach." Ashley took Spencer's hand and made her walk with her, "Come on. It's just an airport...nothing special." Ashley giggled at how amused Spencer was.

"All right, all right. I'm coming." Spencer held Ashley's hand tightly; she didn't want to get lost in this L.A crowd. "So you guys keep an apartment out here? That's awesome."

"Yeah my dad likes to keep a condo in like every major city for when we travel or when he gets bored in a small town in Ohio. Or for days like this!" Ashley put out her hand and hailed a taxi.

"Oh my god! They actually come when you put out your hand...amazing." Spencer stood in astonishment.

Ashley nudged Spencer with her hip, "Stop acting like such a tourist..." Ashley giggled.

"Oh, my bad." Spencer made a zipping motion with her hand, "My mouth is shut from now on." Spencer smiled and doubted she could hold back her excitement for more than five minutes.

Spencer stared out of the taxi she was amazed by the scenery. She stared at all the skyscrapers and the speeding cars. She held onto Ashley's hand in the backseat as she kept her eyes on the roads.

"Yeah this is it. Stop!" Ashley yelled at the taxi driver.

"Wow, someone is pulling some attitude. This is how all you west coast people act, isn't it? Am I going to see a rumble?" Spencer was excited and wanted to see everything.

Ashley rolled her eyes, "oh my god Spence, you are not going to see a rumble. Come on; let's go up to my place." Ashley walked up and they went in the elevator. Ashley had the top floor condo, the view was amazing. It was overlooking everything. Spencer stared at downtown Los Angeles; she was amazed at how great of view the Davies' had.

"Oh my god, awesome view. Seriously, awesome view. So when are we going to get to those amazing beaches we flew out here for. Man, my mom is so going to kill me." Spencer smiled and practically hugged the window she was so close.

"Oh, I don't know. We can sit around here for a while, I have a bed..."

"Miss Davies! Is that all you think about? I wanna explore the town, go to that beach I've never been to before. We can, you know, whenever we want." Spencer smiled and grabbed a hold of Ashley's belt.

"Yes...but we haven't in L.A before," Ashley smiled and leaned in and kissed Spencer on the lips. Not before long they made their way to the bed. Ashley was sitting down and Spencer was on top of her. Spencer's soft lips moved down to Ashley's neck and Spencer melted at the sound of Ashley's moan. Then Spencer was snapped out of the moment by her phone vibrating.

"Don't answer that, don't stop." Ashley was enjoying it way to much for Spencer to stop.

In between the kisses Spencer spoke, "What...if...it's...my...mom...she is...going...to be worried."

Ashley rolled her eyes and sighed, "Fine."

Spencer checked the caller ID it was her mom. "Just act natural maybe she won't know you're gone." Ashley whispered to her before she answered the phone.

_"Hi, Mom," Spencer tried to sound normal._

_"Where the fuck are you? The school called me at work and said you aren't there...so where the hell are you?!" Paula sounded extremely angry._

_Spencer had it on speaker phone and Ashley couldn't give her any advice. Ashley shrugged her shoulders. _

_"I didn't feel like going today, okay mom? I was a little distraught. For one, my mother kicked me out of the dinner table and two my father hit me and kicked me out of the house!" _

_Ashley whispered to Spencer, "good idea, turn it on them."_

_"Your father did what? What happened? Oh my god. I have to go." Click._

"That was weird," Spencer said as she looked at her phone, "I am turning this off. It's just going to be me and you all day." Spencer leaned in a gave Ashley a peck on the cheek.

"So, you wanna finish where we left off," Ashley pushed Spencer's hair off her neck and nibbled her neck.

Spencer blushed and felt goose bumps all over her body. She jumped off of bed, "I'd love to...but come on I wanna see the beach and the city!!" Spencer jumped excitedly and pulled Ashley off the bed.

"Fine, fine. I'll give you the tour."

"Yay!!" Spencer kissed Ashley on the cheek and dragged her out of the door, "I am so glad I came out to L.A!" Spencer couldn't contain her excitement.

Ashley took Spencer through the town and they did shopping and just laughed and had a good time. They finally made their way to the beach as the day was coming to a close. Spencer jumped into the water, "Oh my god it's cold!"

Ashley laughed, "Well, it's almost dusk! It serves you right for just jumping in before testing it."

Spencer ran over to Ashley and gave her a big bear hug getting all the cold water onto her bare body, "Hey! Spencer!"

Spencer just laughed, "Now, you're cold too." Spencer grinned. "The beach isn't all it's cracked up to be. I'd rather be swimming in my heated pool... wanna go back to the apartment?"

"Sure, why not," Ashley gathered her things off the floor and threw on some clothes over her bathing suit. "So did you have fun today?"

Spencer smiled as she threw on her clothes, "Of course, I had an amazing time!" Spencer twirled around in a circle, "Especially being here with you. I had so much fun; we really should come back again. I love it out here. I had a great day with you Ashley," Spencer walked over to Ashley and kissed her on the lips.

They walked around and caught a cab to get back to the apartment. They rode back to the apartment in silence. They were both wiped out from a long day and they were ready for some rest. They walked up to the apartment and plopped on the bed. Spencer took a quick shower then came back to lie in bed.

"So our flight leaves first thing in the morning, I booked it already. So we will be back and it will be like we never left." Ashley smiled as she threw on her shorts and a tank top for bed.

Spencer curled under Ashley's arm and laid her head on Ashley's chest. Ashley stroked Spencer's hair and they both were soon fast asleep in each other's arms.

They both woke up on time for their flight home. They hopped on their plane and arrived in Ohio safely. They arrived in Ashley's driveway. "Thanks for everything Ash. Thanks for these amazing past couple of days." Spencer leaned in and kissed Ashley.

"You want to come in?" Ashley smiled as she grabbed a hold of Spencer's hand.

Spencer shook her head, "I'd love to, but I have to deal with my family and my problems. I ran away from them long enough, I'm ready to face them. I have to work stuff out with my dad...I'll call you later." Spencer smiled and gave Ashley a peck on the cheek.

"Well, if you need back up...I'll be right here." Ashley watched Spencer get out of the car and walk away to her house.

Spencer stood in front of her door and looked up at it. She felt as if she was two feet tall and the door was ten feet. The door never looked so intimidating before. She took a deep breath and turned the door knob and walked in. "Mom? Dad? I'm home." Spencer walked around the house; no one was to be found. She was somewhat relieved she didn't have to deal with anything.

Spencer walked up to her room and picked up her phone. She called the person she wanted to the most. It went to voicemail and she left one, _"Glen...I have bad news. I need you. The blackmail tape is back, this kid Matt has it. Ash said she would take care of it...but you're my big brother, I need your help and advice. Glen? Please call me back. Dad walked in on me and Ash---and he kicked me out of the house. I need you Glen. I miss you." Click_

Spencer tossed her phone on the side of the bed and stared up at the ceiling. She was happy and worried at the same time. She sighed and realized she just wanted to be next to Ashley. She picked up her phone and was about to dial when her phone started to ring. She answered it.

_"Glen! I'm so glad you called me back."_

_"I told you I would. Blackmail? I'll be back in town tomorrow. Don't do anything rash without me, and don't let Ash pay anything yet. We don't know anything about this kid or if he really has the tape. I'll be back in town tomorrow evening." Click._

"But Glen--!" Spencer tried to get out words before Glen hung up but she was too late. Glen was on his way home fix everything for Spencer. But she wasn't sure if he was going to fix things like he did with Kyle..._that would be bad. At least me and Ashley are finally together and happy. I love her so much...no matter what will happen._


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Sorry for the delayed update…had a busy weekend with work and my backyard flooding. So here's the update I hope you all enjoy!! Thanks for reviewing and reading…it's all greatly appreciated. This chapter is dedicated to Anne because you are oh so demanding and forced me to edit this chapter so quickly…and intoxicated violence…welcome back! Anyhoo enough of me…enjoy!!**

Spencer called Ashley over after she finished talking to Glen. _I need to be next to her, I don't know what's going to happen when Glen comes back. I don't know how much longer I get to have Ash._

Spencer smiled and led Ashley to her bed. They lay in each other's arms and they talked about everything...except the blackmail issue. Spencer clutched onto Ashley as if she was never going to let her go.

"You're holding onto me awfully tight, is something wrong?" Ashley looked down at Spencer and brushed her hair out of her face so she could see Spencer's reaction.

Spencer held onto Ashley tighter, "I just never want to let go of you." Spencer smiled and looked up at Ashley.

Ashley wasn't sure if she was telling her the whole truth, "Are you sure that's all?"

Spencer closed her eyes and listened to Ashley's heartbeat. She wanted to indulge this moment for a few more seconds before she sat up. Spencer sat up and clutched onto her knees, "Don't be mad at me Ash," Spencer bowed her head then looked up at Ashley, "I called my brother and told him about the blackmail and how it's back." Spencer took her hand and grabbed a hold of Ashley's.

Ashley looked down at their hands; she wasn't sure what to say. She recalled what happened last time Glen got involved, and then she suddenly got up off the bed. "You shouldn't have done that. I told you...I told you that I was going to take care of it. God Spencer...why can't you just let me handle something for once?"

Spencer scooted off the bed and sat on the edge, "Ashley shh, you are going to wake my parents." Then Spencer suddenly realized that her parents weren't even home, "But Ash I had to call him he will know what to do. We aren't sure if he even has a tape or if he has copies...my brother can make sure of everything. Please, don't be mad at me." Spencer got up and hugged Ashley from behind.

Ashley put up a little fight and tried to squirm out of the hug but then she embraced it. She sighed, "I'm not mad Spencer. I'm just concerned and worried. I'm concerned about what your brother may do to this guy...you saw what he did to my brother. And I'm worried about you Spencer; you need to keep your mind off this blackmail tape. If it gets out so what? You're parents already know your gay what's the worst thing that could happen now? You will embarrass them in public? Who cares, your dad hit you and kicked you out. You're mom just won't admit you gay...so maybe you should just give it to the public yourself. I know, I know, you're not like that...but stop worrying so much. It makes me worry."

Spencer smiled after she listened to Ashley's big speech. She didn't realize Ashley worried so much, "I didn't know you cared too much about me." Spencer smiled and blushed.

Ashley walked over to the bed and took Spencer with her, "Come on Spencer...of course I care about you...I care about you...I can't even describe how much I care, but you should know that by now." Ashley kissed Spencer on the lips.

Spencer closed her eyes, "I love you too Ash."

"Come on, let's lay back down." Ashley tugged on Spencer's shirt.

"That's not all I want to do," Spencer smirked and forcefully pushed Ashley down and straddled on top of her. Ashley smirked back at Spencer. Spencer continued to straddle on Ashley and didn't do anything but smile at her. They both basked in how beautiful each other looked. Ashley took both hands and held Spencer's face, rubbing the sides of her face with her thumbs.

"I can't get over how gorgeous you are Spencer," Ashley smiled then pulled Spencer's head closer to hers and their lips met. Every time their lips met it felt as if it was the first time all over again. They made that kiss last for what seemed like eternity. Spencer slowly lifted her shirt above her head and leaned down and kissed Ashley on the lips again. Then Ashley's shirt went. Once Ashley's shirt was off, she sat up and threw Spencer down on the bed. Spencer let out a slight giggle. Ashley took her warm soft lips and ran them down Spencer's body. Spencer's toes curled with every gentle touch from Ashley. Soon their jeans came off as the rest of their clothes. They basked in each other all night. They soon fell asleep in each other's arms.

Spencer soon awoke from the light shining into her room. At first Spencer was upset the sun rudely awoke her, but then she turned to her left and saw Ashley sleeping peacefully. She didn't move another inch she was afraid she was going to awake Ashley_. She looks so beautiful, I can't wake her. Oh my God, she is amazing._ Spencer took her hand and gently stroked Ashley's face and smiled. Spencer glanced at the clock and wanted to lay in bed all day with Ashley by her side.

Reality struck Spencer when she heard the doorbell rang. She quickly looked over at Ashley to see if she was awoken, but she wasn't. So Spencer decided to lie in bed and whoever was at the door didn't matter. The doorbell chimed again. Spencer sighed and realized she should get up.

Once Spencer slid her arm out from under Ashley it woke her up. "Hey, you sneaking out on me?" Ashley smiled as she stretched.

"Morning beautiful. Naw, I'm just answering the door, someone keeps ringing it. I'll be right back," Spencer walked over and gave Ashley a kiss on the forehead.

Spencer skipped down the steps; she was in an overly happy mood. The door bell rang again as she was walking down the stairs, "I'm coming, I'm coming." Spencer mumbled to herself.

She flung open to her door and her smile grew wider at the sight of Glen, "Glen!!!" Spencer yelled and jumped into his arms for a tight embrace.

Glen smiled and hugged his sister back, "Can't breathe..."

"Oh I am just so excited you are back Glen!!" Spencer was happy to see Glen at first, but then realized why he came back and wasn't so happy.

"I couldn't stay away from my little sis forever, now could I? Did you just wake up?" Glen walked in the house and shut the door behind him.

Spencer realized she was just wearing an oversized shirt and tried to pull the shirt down lower. "Yeah...um I did."

"Oh my God. You got some ass didn't you! Look at my little sister everyone! She's gettin' more than me." Glen laughed.

Spencer punched Glen in the arm, "Gleeen!" Spencer screamed at her brother.

Glen smiled and rubbed his arm, "Well, I'm going to let you back to that...and I'm going to catch up with some of my friends...even though I haven't been gone long. I'm going to give you some time alone...with whoever you have up in that room...which I assume is Ashley." Glen smiled and walked out the door.

Spencer shouted at him before he left, "Come back later? We have..."

Glen turned around before he shut the door, "Yeah, yeah I know. We can deal with that later, go have some fun." Glen winked and Spencer and shut the door.

Spencer rolled her eyes and ran back up the stairs. Ashley was still lying in bed, "So who was at the door?"

Spencer jumped onto the bed, "Oh it was just Glen, but he's gone now...but he's coming back. Anyways, what do you want to do today...we have the entire day ahead of us." Spencer smiled and played with Ashley's hair.

Ashley smiled at the sight of how excited Spencer was. But she didn't like the fact that Glen was back in town. She didn't want things to end up like last time. "I don't care. Where ever, as long as I'm with you." Ashley smiled.

Spencer grinned, "You're so ... cute." Spencer jumped off the bed, "Shower?" Spencer said playfully.

Ashley couldn't resist an invitation like that, "I'm so there." Ashley threw the covers off and playfully raced Spencer to the shower. Spencer caught up with Ashley and tickled her on the sides. Ashley giggled and fell to the floor. She quickly got up and hopped into the shower. Spencer soon followed.

They both got out of the shower extremely refreshed and then they got dressed and couldn't stop smiling. It seems as if all they were doing was smiling lately.

"So… damnit," Spencer heard a car pulling up to her house so she looked out the window, "My parents are home...both at the same time...in the middle of the day. Weird, we have to sneak out the back door. I'm not dealing with them right now." Spencer forcefully grabbed Ashley's hand and dragged her out of her room.

"Oh all right, you coulda said please," Ashley walked briskly with Spencer.

"Damnit damnit." Spencer walked faster she could hear her parents coming in the front door. She wasn't sure how they were going to react with Ashley being there or how she just up and left for a day and ditched school. _But she wasn't ready to find out._

Spencer was half-way out the back door when she heard her father yell, "Well, someone decided to come back home."

Spencer froze in her spot and gave a desperate look at Ashley. Spencer debated if she should just book it or not. Spencer turned around and Ashley came back inside with her.

"Well, dad, I didn't think I had an option to come back. I was thrown out of the house you know." Spencer crossed her arms.

Arthur's face turned sad, "About that honey, we need to talk."

Spencer was shocked she didn't know what to say to that. Is _he turning fatherly on me?_ "What about it Dad? Sorry that you hit me? Sorry that you don't accept me? Sorry at all?" Spencer was trying to get a rise out of her father.

Ashley just stood in the corner feeling slightly awkward watching Spencer arguing with her father. She really didn't have anything to say, but she knew she had to be there. No matter what she was going be by her side...no matter how awkward things got.

"I am sorry honey, but can we talk about this..." Arthur paused and looked at Ashley, "Alone."

Spencer turned around and looked at Ashley and smiled at her, "Whatever you have to say to me, can be said in front of her. She's my girlfriend and you are going to have to accept that." Spencer walked back to Ashley and grabbed a hold of her hand.

Arthur forced a smile, "All right. Spencer I am sorry, I over reacted. I am so sorry for hitting you, it was uncalled for. I will never regret anything more than that decision. I am truly sorry Spencer, I am sorry that for one second you thought I didn't accept you for who you are. I know better than anyone how precious life is and how it could be swept right under our feet. Ashley, I am sorry you had to be there through that. Spencer, I accept that you are gay and I accept Ashley. You are welcomed in this house anytime, after all you are apart of this family." Arthur stopped speaking and walked over to Spencer and gave her a hug.

Spencer was crying but they were tears of joy. It was the most heart felt thing she ever heard her father say. Her father wiped away her tears of joy and he smiled whole-heartedly. Ashley was also tearing up watching it all. Arthur came in and hugged both of them together. Ashley felt accepted by her father and she knew how much this made Spencer happy.

Arthur let go of the embrace and continued talking, "But I do ask one thing...we can't let the media know. Not yet. I know how strong I am against gay marriage and all that's going to change. Not only because of you Spencer, but because everyone deserves the same amount of rights. So until I change my opinion publicly on that, I'd rather you not go out in the open with your and Ashley's relationship. You two go have some fun." Arthur winked and started to talk away.

Spencer looked over at Ashley and shrugged. Spencer ran up to her dad and gave him another hug. "I love you dad!"

"I love you too pumpkin." Arthur replied back then he walked away.

Spencer walked over to Ashley and gave her a kiss on the lips. It felt so good to kiss Ashley on the lips out in the open in her house. It felt as if she was finally her true self...and it felt as if she could express who she really was.

Spencer swayed as she held Ashley's hand, "So Spence, when you weren't looking I bought you something in L.A. I know, I know, I shouldn't have...but whatever I did. So, you want your surprise?"

Spencer blushed and smiled, "Hmm, I think I had enough surprises over the past days. I can wait."

"Well, that wasn't the response I was looking for..." Ashley pouted.

Spencer smiled. "I know. I just like teasing you."

Ashley grinned, "I-"

"Ah-- don't even say it Ash. I set myself up for that one. So what's this amazing surprise you got for me?"

"You're going to have to wait now..."

"Aww that's so not fair. But whatever let's get outta here." Spencer grabbed a hold on Ashley's hand and dragged her out of the house and hopped into Spencer's car.

Spencer put the top down to her car and backed out of the driveway.

"So, where are we going exactly?" Ashley pondered in the passenger seat.

Spencer was about to answer when she felt her phone vibrate she looked at the caller ID and it was unknown, so she decided to ignore it.

"Who was that?" Ashley curiously asked.

"Oh beats me, it was unknown. And I am devoting all my attention to you." Spencer smiled and kept her eyes on the road. Spencer spotted someone driving crazy behind her but she just shrugged it off as another one of those insane drivers. But then the driver pulled up to the side of Spencer and she looked over.

"Oh my God...Spencer do you know this guy?" You could hear terror in Ashley's voice.

Spencer rolled her eyes as her hands started to shake, "Yes, that's the guy that's blackmailing me." Spencer could barely get out the words.

Matt was motioning her to pull over. Spencer didn't know what to do, she looked over at Ashley. "Should I pull over?"

Ashley shrugged, "He looks pretty crazy...but I think we should pull over before he like hits your car."

Spencer looked over at the guy who was ruining her life and pulled over. She looked at Ashley, "Stay in the car."

"But--" Ashley tried to talk but Spencer cut her off.

"No buts, stay in the car. I'll see what he wants." Spencer got out of the car and slammed the door. She took a deep breath and walked over to Matt's car.

"What the hell do you want?" Spencer put her hand on her hip.

"You didn't answer your phone." Matt looked up at Spencer as he sat in his car.

"Can't you see I was busy? What do you want, that's so important?"

"I told you, I want money for the tape. I need money now, so I called."

"That's not how this works; you just can't call and get money whenever you want." Spencer was on cloud nine before this all happened. Now, she was just pissed he had ruined the best couple of days in her life.

"Oh really? Then," Matt reached over and grabbed the tape that was sitting on his passenger seat, "How about I show this to the world? Make your family embarrassed they have a hot lesbian daughter."

Spencer rolled her eyes and clenched her fist. She so badly wanted to punch him. She lunged over and tried to grab the tape out of his hands. He quickly moved and Spencer failed at getting it. "Fine where do you want to meet? I'll have your money tomorrow."

"Oh, I'll call but you better answer your phone this time. And I want 30,000 dollars for this tape." Matt put on his sunglasses and pulled off into the distance.

Spencer stood there staring at his car. She shook her head and angrily walked back to her car.

"So...?" Ashley wanted to know what happened.

Spencer looked over at Ashley and let out a deep breath. She started uncontrollably sobbing and Ashley took her in her arm. Spencer yelped in between her sobbing, "I'm so lost; I don't even know what to do anymore."

Ashley smiled and ran her fingers through Spencer's hair, "shh, you have me**. He's going down**."


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Here's the update!! Thanks for all the reviews, keep it up! Thanks for continuing to read! And I hope you all enjoy this chapter…**

It was the next morning and Spencer woke up alone. It was the first night Spencer had gone without Ashley in a couple of days. She already missed waking up next to Ashley. Ashley offered to spend the night over but Spencer refused. She didn't want her dad walking into her room and seeing Ashley lying next to her. She figured Arthur wasn't ready for that one.

Spencer stretched and then decided to call Ashley right away. She couldn't stand being away from her another second longer.

_"He--llo?" Ashley said groggily._

_"Hey Ash, did I wake you?" Spencer couldn't help but smile just hearing Ashley's voice._

_"Yes, you did. But I like having your voice be the first thing I hear in the morning." Ashley smiled and she was now fully awake hearing Spencer's voice, "So what's up?"_

_"Nothing...I just wanted to see you. Want to come over?" Spencer said sweetly._

_"Love to, give me an hour to get showered and ready." Click._

Spencer tossed her phone to the side and joyfully hugged her blanket. She was excited Ashley was on her way over. Spencer decided to get ready and look her best. She felt like looking..._irresistible. _

Spencer showered up and blow dried her hair. Then she gave her hair a slight curl and threw on a sundress. She looked in her full length mirror and twirled_. Damn, I look pretty good._ As soon as Spencer thought that she heard Ashley at her door. Spencer turned around, "How--"

Ashley answered the question before Spencer could ask it, "Your mom let me in...she told me to tell you that she has a surgery and she won't be back until late. Oh and that your dad won't be home to late too." Ashley let out a breath after she said all that.

Spencer rolled her eyes, "Looks like we got the house to ourselves then...what do you wanna do?" Spencer tilted her head and grinned.

Ashley looked at Spencer, "You're so adorable and you are looking extra beautiful today." Ashley sat on the bed and motioned for Spencer to come over.

Spencer slowly swayed over and sat next to Ashley. She gently rubbed Ashley's leg up and down. Ashley got goose bumps with every touch moving closer to her upper thigh. Ashley smirked and leaned in and kissed Spencer on her soft lips. Ashley took her hand and slowly slid it up Spencer's sundress. Spencer smiled as she felt Ashley's hand nearing...then Spencer let out a pleasurable moan. Which made Ashley grin, knowing she caused that moan. They could barely keep their hands off each other when they were together. _This is what love is..._

Not before long their perfect moment of indulgence was interrupted by Spencer's cell phone vibrating on her bed. Both of the girls didn't notice her phone vibrating at first but then Ashley was startled. "What the hell is that?"

Spencer rolled her eyes, she was in the middle of the kiss when Ashley was startled and jumped out of it. "Uhh it's just my damn phone. Ignore it." Spencer leaned in to kiss Ashley again but Ashley moved to the side.

"What if it's you know who...wanting his money? If you don't answer he might go all bi polar on you again..." Ashley was just concerned and she wanted to get this blackmail issue out of way once and for all.

"But---fine." Spencer was already mad that moment was ruined. So she picked up her phone_, "Hello?"_

_"It's Glen," She whispered to Ashley. _

_"Mmmhm. Yeah. Okay. I'll see you then." Spencer then hung up the phone._

_"What was that about?" Ashley curiously asked._

"He just wanted to tell me that he will be home later tonight so we can figure out this blackmail thing." Spencer smiled and tucked a hair behind Ashley's ear.

Ashley leaned into Spencer's hand and smiled. For that one second when Spencer touched Ashley, she instantly forgot all her worries. But reality soon struck...hard.

Matt somehow managed to sneak into Spencer's house and he grabbed Spencer and shoved her to the floor. Ashley tried to fight back but Matt took his fist and punched her in the face, causing her to black out. Ashley lay on the floor barely conscious but she could somehow hear everything around her.

"Why are you doing this?!" Spencer yelped.

Matt grabbed Spencer by the hair and started to drag her out from her room, "Oh because I realized kidnapping you would land me so much more cash. You're parents want to bury this tape more than you do, I can tell by your lack of commitment to answer your calls. So I decided to kidnap you and force your parents to pay. They won't want to go to the police 'cause this tape will ruin them..." Matt chuckled.

"Where the fuck are you taking me? Let me go!!" Spencer squirmed but he had a tight grip on her hair and it hurt too much to get away.

"Oh well my dad owns this big empty warehouse, I figured...that's a nice place we won't be bothered. Stop asking questions, let's go." He hit Spencer in the stomach so she wouldn't be so squeamish and he continued to drag her out into his truck where he tied her up in the back seat and placed duct tape over her mouth. "That should shut you up for now." He smiled the entire time he was tying up Spencer.

Spencer kicked on the car doors but then stopped realizing she wasn't getting anywhere. She was only tiring herself out. _How the hell did I get myself into this? Damnit!! I hope Ashley is okay back there...she looked peaceful on the floor knocked out, but it doesn't mean she isn't hurt. I just hope she is okay. As long as she doesn't get hurt...I couldn't bare that. _

Spencer tried looking out the car windows to figure out where he was taking her but as soon as she could peek out of the window Matt pushed back down. "You're only going to make things harder for yourself. I don't want to hurt you...but I will if I have to. Just play along, let me get my money, and you are free to live you life. If you don't play along, you may not see your girlfriend again." Matt evilly smiled.

Spencer squirmed and yelled, _"You leave her the fuck out of this,"_ But it only came out muffled because she had duct tape on her mouth.

Matt put his hand up to his ear, "Oh did you want to say something?" He smiled, "I'll take the tape off once we get to the warehouse." Matt kept on driving at they were there sooner than expected. "We're here."

Spencer was confused and thought_. That was a quick drive. This warehouse can't be far from home. _ Spencer looked around at the warehouse and she was surprised. She knew this place...this was the new eye sore of a warehouse a new company was building in their town. _This is only minutes from my house, I hope they find me. They have to; this is the only warehouse in our town. _

Matt quickly dragged Spencer into the warehouse and threw her on the floor. He then ran back to the door, locked it, and shoved random boxes in front of the door. He picked up Spencer and tied her to a chair. He took the tape off Spencer's mouth, but not before he copped a feel.

"You leave my girlfriend out of this," was the first words out of Spencer's mouth.

"Yeah, yeah. Well I wouldn't have had to hit her if she wasn't there with you. I thought you were alone in the house; you had the only car in the driveway. So I thought it was safe to go in. She just got in the way, she will be fine...she'll just wake up with a huge ass headache." Matt smiled and ran his hand down Spencer's cheek. "You're gorgeous."

Spencer shivered at his touch. This touch made her feel the exact opposite of Ashley's touch. "Fucking pervert. You think about laying one hand on me...I'll---"

Spencer was cut off my Matt interrupting her, "You'll what? Hmm? Sit in the chair and do not a damn thing about it. Face it, you are helpless. So why don't you just play along, Spencey."

Matt ran his hand up her bare leg smiling with every touch. Spencer squirmed; she was not letting him get the best of her. _No way._ She assessed the situation, she needed to stop him, _stop his hand_. She took her head, the only free thing and head butted him. _Damnit, that hurt more than I thought it would._ Spencer squeezed her eyes in pain.

Matt fell to the floor and rubbed his head. "You wanna play it that way?" Matt ran up and pulled Spencer's head back by her hair. She winced in pain. He forced his lips on to hers. She refused the kiss the entire time. _How could someone do this?_ She tried to move her head out of the kiss but he forced it still. She wanted it to **stop.** Please **stop.** **Stop.**

All of a sudden she felt her phone vibrating. _Saved by the bell._ Matt felt her phone vibrate also, she kept it in her bra. Spencer stared at him in the eyes as he reached down her dress and got out the phone. She made a disgusted face at him.

"Oh look, it's your girlfriend Ashley. She must have come to. Let's answer it. This is going to be fun. I'll put this on speaker phone for you," Matt hit the talk button, _"Hello?"_

_"You fucking let her go. You hurt her, and I swear I will find your ass and kill you." Ashley was yelling into the phone. _

_"Ashley!!" Spencer yelled, "Help! I'm in a warehouse--" Matt ran over to Spencer and placed his hand over her mouth._

_"Spencer? Spencer? Don't worry I'm going to find you." _

_"You hear that?" Matt took his hand and slapped Spencer has hard his he could on her face, "That's the sound of my hand on your precious girlfriend's face...if you even try and find us...well I'll leave that up to your imagination. So, if you know what's best for you and your little girlfriend you'd stay away." Matt was speaking with rage. He was worried that Ashley may find them._

_"Don't worry Spence. I lov--" Matt hung up the phone before Ashley could finish her sentence. _

_I love you too_. Spencer was starting to worry that Ashley would never hear those words again from her lips. So she said it one more time in her head, _I love you too Ashley_. A single tear fell down her cheek.

"Aww, you miss your girlfriend? I bet she can't give you what you want? You know, what a guy has to offer." Matt inched his way closer.

"Fuck you." Spencer spoke with rage but inside she was so frightened he going to rape her.

"Oh no, no, no. That's where you got it wrong. Fuck me? Nope, fuck you." Matt inched his way closer but then his alarm on his cell phone went off.

"Damn, you are about the luckiest person in the world. That's twice you were saved by a cell phone. Oh we will finish this later." Matt looked at his phone. "Time to make that call to your mom. I figured I'd call your mom first."

_Matt took Spencer's phone and called her mother. "Sweetie? I'm kind of busy, I have a surgery--"_

_"This isn't Spencer." Matt said menacingly._

_"Who is this? What do you want?"_

_"Well, I kidnapped your daughter. I have a tape of her kissing her girlfriend Ashley, and if I don't get what I want for this tape...I'm going to the media."_

_Paula's mouth dropped, "How do I know you actually have her?" _

_Matt walked over to Spencer and pulled her head back, "TALK."_

_"Mom??" Spencer asked curiously, as if she didn't already know it was her on the phone._

_"Oh my God, Spencer. Are you all right?"_

_Spencer wanted to cry, but she held it in, "Yeah, for now. Mom you got to get me out of here. I'm in a--" Matt punched Spencer in the stomach._

_"Nice try Spencer." Matt walked away from Spencer._

_"So, there's your proof. I'll be calling back in thirty minutes, so you better have your checkbook ready." Click._

Spencer stared at her captor. She hated him more than anything at the moment. She felt helpless tied to a chair. _Maybe that's what he wants me to put up a fight. Maybe if I just give in...he won't want me._ Spencer debated and came up with a plan.

He walked over towards Spencer, "So where did we leave off?" He smiled.

He walked over to Spencer and pressed his lips up against hers. This time she didn't resist she forcefully went with the kiss. For her to even embrace the kiss a little she had to pretend it was Ashley. For a second, pretending worked until he spoke. "Oh there we go. Just play along." He kissed her again and she kissed him back. "You're a really good kisser." He smiled. He talked as if Spencer wasn't being forced into this at all.

Spencer closed her eyes, _come on Spencer you can do this. Just play along._ "You should see what else I'm good at." Spencer forced her best smiled.

Matt was intrigued he pulled out a large knife he had on his belt loop and held it up, "I'm going to free one arm first...don't try anything." He cut off the rope freeing her right hand.

Spencer smiled and realized she had to gain his trust first. _This was easier than I thought._ She took her hand and held his head and kissed him. Their lips met and all Spencer could think was, _I wish this was Ashley right now. I need Ashley._ His lips weren't soft like hers, they were the opposite. His touch wasn't gentle like Ashley's, they were the opposite.

He held up the knife and smiled, "You're good, I'm going to have to let this other arm go," he freed her left arm.

Spencer smiled she was getting freed faster than she thought she would. His alarm on his phone beeped, "Oh just when things were getting hot and heavy. Time to call your mom back."

He left the knife on the ground by Spencer but it was far away, she couldn't reach it...not without making noise that is. He grabbed Spencer's phone off the table and called her mom again.

_"Hello?" _

_"I'm glad you answered your phone." He chuckled._

_"How much?" Paula was getting straight to the point. She wanted this tape buried once and for all. She needed to get Spencer out of harm's way._

_He smiled and debated how much he wanted for a bit, "I want a hundred thousand, in cash."_

_"We don't have that money lying around. Are you crazy?"_

_"Oh bullshit. A famous surgeon and a senator? You better be happy that's all I'm asking for."_

_Paula pounded on her steering wheel, "Fine. Where do you want me to meet you?"_

_"That's for me to worry about. Get the money; I'll give you an hour to get it together. In an hour I'll call you where the drop is going to take place." Click._

While Matt was on the phone Spencer managed to get her feet loose from the ropes. He had his back turned the entire time he was taking to her mother. Once he turned around she picked up the knife and ran towards him and forcefully stabbed him in the stomach. "Fuuuuuck, that hurt." He cried out.

"You fucking pervert, if for one second you thought I was enjoying kissing you...you are so wrong," Spencer spit out on the floor, she wanted to get his taste out of her mouth, "Did you think I was going to bend over and take it? Fuck you asshole." Spencer smirked staring at the knife still in his stomach.

"You're so going to regret that." He pulled out the knife and before Spencer could react he jammed in knife into her abdomen and then he removed it. Her mouth dropped and she stared down at her wound and clenched it.

"You ruined it Spencer. I told you I wouldn't hurt you if I didn't have to. Now, the world is going to see your tape and I am not going to get my money. If you think this ends here, you are so wrong!" He yelled and hopped out of the building, "This isn't over, bitch!"

Spencer fell to her knees; she was being left for the dead. She clenched onto her wound, there was so much blood. She saw her phone on the table, she tried to stand up, but her knees we weak and they wobbled. _She fell back down._ She slowly crawled over to the table, yelling in pain with every inch. She reached her phone and she took it into her hand. She looked down at the phone and she already smeared blood all over it. _I'm not going to make it, am I?_ She dialed the only number that mattered...Ashley's.

_"Hello?"_

_"Ash--" Was the only words she could get out before she passed out._

"_Spencer?! Spencer?! I'm here, Glen's here too! I found the warehouse, the only warehouse in the town. I'm sorry I couldn't get here faster."_

Ashley ran towards the warehouse with Glen. Glen noticed the warehouse door open and blood smeared on it. "Something's not right Ashley." Glen ran inside and saw his sister lying on the floor. "Shit, Spencer!!" He kneeled next to Spencer and whispered to her, "I'm going to find this asshole, I promise you that. You don't give up on me; you know I can't handle mom and dad alone." He gave out a slight chuckle, hoping she would awake.

Ashley soon walked in, her mouth dropped, tears were forming. "Oh my God."

"Ashley! Call 911, get someone here fast. I'm taking your car and finding this asshole." Glen took the keys out of Ashley's hand and ran out the warehouse doors. Ashley called 911 and they were on their way.

Ashley fell to her knees and took Spencer's head in her lap. "You can't leave me Spencer, you can't. You better hold on, come on, you're a fighter... I know you can." Ashley cried and wiped them away. She saw blood everywhere. _She thought the worst._ Ashley put pressure on the wound to try and let any more blood from escaping her body.

Ashley leaned in and gave Spencer a kiss on her cold lips, "Come on Spencer, wake up. You have to make it through this."

It was if Ashley's lips were the cure, Spencer immediately came to, "Ash?"

Ashley started to cry harder as she wiped hair out of Spencer's face, "Spencer! Spencer! Oh my God, you are alive."

Spencer smiled and looked down. "I love you Ash." Spencer immediately passed out again.

"No, no, no, no, come on Spencer. Don't do this to me." Ashley didn't believe in God but at this very moment in her life she looked up and called upon a higher power.

_God, if you're out there...save her._


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing. Keep it up! I'm glad you all enjoyed the last chapter, I really enjoyed writing that one. Intoxicated Violence there will be no shovel or hoe needed…**

**I hope you all enjoy this chapter! I may not have an update for a couple of days because I might be kind of busy. But…I'll try my best to post again before the weekend.**

It was two days later and Ashley was in the hospital waiting for Spencer to wake up. Paula had told Ashley a hundred times that Spencer was going to be fine but that wasn't good enough. Ashley needed solid proof; she needed Spencer to wake up.

"She lost an extreme amount of blood and she had to receive a blood transfusion. Ashley you can go home, get some rest. She is going to be fine she needs her rest and she probably wake up today or tomorrow. Her body needs to accept the new blood and fight off everything. So you can go home you know Ashley." Paula reassured Ashley that Spencer was going to be fine.

Ashley looked up at Paula, "I know I can go home, but I can't...I won't. I want to be here when she wakes up, I want her to know that I'm here for her; I just need to be here. I know she's going to be fine but also I don't know that she is because she hasn't woke up yet." Ashley started to get teary eyed. She couldn't bare seeing Spencer lying there helpless.

Ashley hadn't slept, ate, or moved out of that hospital room in the past two days. Her focus was Spencer. She felt as if it was partly her fault that this happened to Spencer_. I didn't fight hard enough to stop Matt from taking her. I didn't do enough to stop this entire blackmail issue. I could have done something...more. Now, I have to watch Spencer struggle to keep her life.  
_  
Spencer was finally coming to when Ashley was deep into thought. Spencer coughed a little and she squinted at Ashley in the chair, "Ash? Is that you? Oh my God, what happened? Are you okay?" Spencer tried to sit up but remember she was stabbed and it hurt way too much to move her abdomen.

Ashley's face lit up and she ran over to Spencer's bed, "Spencer? Oh my God, finally...I was getting so worried about you. I love you Spencer. I was afraid you were never going to hear those words from my mouth again."

Spencer smiled, "That's funny, and that was one of my last thoughts before I woke up here. So how did I end up here? It's all fuzzy after I was stabbed. Ash, did he hurt you? Are you okay?" Spencer was worried that Matt may have hurt Ashley. She looked all over her body for any injuries.

Ashley smiled, "That's so cute. But you don't have to worry about me Spence. You're the one who was stabbed and you're the one in the hospital bed...I think I should be the one worried. But no I'm fine." Ashley took her hand and held onto Spencer's.

Spencer looked around the hospital room. "I didn't think I was going to make it. I seriously thought I was never going to see you again, speak to you, touch you, and kiss you. It was the worst feeling in the world. Knowing that there was nothing I could do, to try and save my own life. And all I wanted to do was tell you that I loved you, because I thought I was going to die." Spencer let a tear fall from her face.

"Shh," Ashley wiped away her tears, "But you are safe now. You made it. You're here, with me." Ashley bent over and kissed Spencer on her hand, "I love you."

Spencer smiled. She was so happy that she could see Ashley again. She doubted that she would ever see anyone that she ever loved again. She wasn't sure how this near death experience was going to change her and she hoped it wouldn't.

"What about Matt? Last I saw he ran out of the warehouse...did they get him? Where's Glen? My family?" Spencer looked around the room and grew sad that Ashley was the only one there. She was grateful that Ashley was there, but she was curious to where the rest of her family was.

"Well, are you sure you want all the news? Some of it is bad." Ashley wasn't sure if she wanted to tell her yet.

Spencer's eyes widened, "Oh my God, yes. You can't just drop a bomb like that and not tell me the rest. Please tell me Glen is okay." Spencer looked at Ashley with pleading eyes. _She needed to know now._

Ashley sighed, "Well good news first. Matt is in custody, the cops got him thanks to Glen...but Glen kind of beat him up before he called the cops. So your brother is in jail too. He called me and told us not to mention the blackmail tape because he got rid of it. So he said when the cops question all of us, just say Matt kidnapped you...just for ransom and not because of any blackmail issue."

Spencer's jaw dropped, "Don't the cops know Glen was trying to protect me?!" Spencer tried to get up of hospital bed, "let me go talk to them."

Ashley immediately pushed Spencer back down, "Spencer! Stop, it will be all figured out. Your dad is working on some solution. Your mom is going to come by in a bit. You want me to just go get her?"

Spencer smiled, "You're too good to me. I don't deserve you." 

"Don't say that Spencer. And I'll go get your mom." Ashley turned around to leave.

Spencer reached out her hand and grabbed Spencer's arm, "**Don't.** I'm sorry; I don't know why I said that. **Stay**, don't get my mom. 'Cause once you get her it's going to be hectic...and she is going to want to talk to me alone. So stay when we have time just to ourselves. Thanks for being so good to me Ash. I'm going to say it again, but I love you."

Ashley smiled and leaned over the bed and gave Spencer a kiss on the lips. "I love you too."

They gazed into each other's eyes for a while until they were interrupted by Paula.

"Oh my God, you're awake Spencer! Ashley why didn't you call me when she came to?!"

Spencer rolled her eyes, "Don't be mad at her. I just woke up, Mom. I'm sorry." 

Paula ran over to Spencer and gave her a huge hug. "I love you so much sweetie. We were all so scared you weren't going to make it, but we knew you were such a fighter." Paula turned around and looked at Ashley, "Ashley do you mind giving us some time alone?"

Spencer looked at Ashley and gave her an I-told-you-so looks. Ashley smiled, "Sure, Paula. Spencer, I'll be right outside the door if you need me." Ashley walked out of the room and closed the door. Ashley was so relieved Spencer was awake she couldn't even express all the emotions flowing through her at the moment. She then realized how tired and hungry she was. 

"Honey, you don't know how happy I am to have you awake. Gosh, I'm so sorry I let this all happen. I feel so guilty, I didn't stop it sooner."

Spencer figured everyone around her was going to blame themselves, "Mom it's no ones fault. No one asked for this blackmail to happen, the only person's fault for all this unfortunate shit happening is the psycho behind it. Which would be Matt... and Kyle 'cause he started this whole thing. I think what we need to focus on is, that I'm going to be okay."

Paula was shocked, "Oh, honey I didn't mean--"

Spencer interrupted her, "It's fine mother. What's going on with Glen?"

Paula sighed, "Well, he's in a bit of trouble. Your father tried pulling his strings but it's not working because this case is so media crazy. I know you have been cooped up in this hospital and I don't know what Ashley has told you but there is media waiting outside the hospital to see you when you are released. We are setting up an interview with Barbara Walters so we can get the country on our side. We need to show the public that Glen is innocent and he did the right thing...he stopped a harmful kidnapper from escaping." Paula always had a trick up her sleeve to get her family out of trouble.

Spencer looked at her mom, "When's the interview? I'm ready; I want Glen out of jail mom. It's my fault he is in there! If I wasn't gay..." Spencer stopped there_. What the hell am I thinking? Don't think like that Spencer._ Spencer shook the thought out of her head.

Paula smirked, "It's going to all work it self out. But we can do the interview next week if you want to push it? I'm going to go to the jail house tonight and bail him out of jail. So spend some time with Ashley, you're going to be in the hospital for about two more days. Then you can rest up at our house." Paula leaned in and kissed Spencer on the cheek.

Ashley walked in, "Looked pretty intense in here, you all right?"

Spencer smiled, "I'm all better now that you're here."

"So you and your mom talk about anything interesting?" Ashley walked over to Spencer and picked up her hand to hold.

Spencer smiled at Ashley's touch. "Yeah, we have to do a show with Barbara Walters...because apparently there is media all over my kidnapping." Spencer rolled her eyes.

"Oh right, I forgot to tell you. It's all over the news, you and your entire family. I'm here for ya Spence, when the media buzz gets all crazy."

Spencer laughed, "I'm used to it. But it's good to know you're around when I need you." _Did that come out right? I hope that didn't sound bad. Gosh I'm tripping over my words today. First, I practically told my mother that I wish I wasn't gay. Sometimes, I think it would be easier on the family...but I'd never wish to not be who I am. I wouldn't have ever met this amazing person I love who I never want to let go.  
_  
Ashley looked at Spencer, "What are you thinking about? You looked like you were in deep thought there." Ashley felt as if she knew Spencer better than she knew herself.

Spencer was surprised by the question. She wasn't sure if she wanted to tell Ashley what she was really thinking or not. "Nothing, I was just replaying everything that's happened over the past few days. And I'm so glad I have you through all of this." Spencer smiled and motioned Ashley to lean in.

Spencer took both her hands and held Ashley's head and gave her a nice gentle kiss on the lips. Spencer winced in pain when she moved her hand too high up. "Oh my God, are you okay?" Ashley had a concerned look on her face.

"Yes...I'm fine. I just moved my arm up too high and it must have pulled on my wound. I'm fine. You look a tired Ash...how long have I been in the hospital?"

"Uhh two days I think?"

"Have you slept in the past two days? Or ate?" Spencer was concerned.

"Um...no? I was too worried to eat and I was too worried to sleep. Every time I dozed off I was afraid you would wake up and I'd be sleeping." Ashley smiled and held Spencer's hand.

"You should go home and get some rest. I'll be fine in the hospital, you know I'm all up and awake now...so maybe you can get some rest? I hate to see you all tired and worried about me." Spencer smiled and tilted her head.

"I'll come back later...I'll get a couple of hours of sleep in...and it will be like I never left. Kay?" Ashley smiled. She hated to leave Spencer but she was feeling extremely tired all of a sudden.

"Take you time. I'm going to be fine. I love you," Spencer smiled and pulled Ashley in for a kiss. Spencer's soft lips embraced Ashley's thin lips. Spencer closed her eyes tight and wished time could rewind to when they were kissing on her bed and everything was perfectly fine. Spencer's and Ashley's tongue's clashed against each other's. Then all of a sudden Spencer had a flashback of when Matt was forcing her to kiss her and Spencer freaked out and pulled away from the kiss. 

"What's wrong?" Ashley looked at Spencer with her concerned eyes.

"I---I don't want to talk about it right now. Go get your rest I don't want you to worry any more about me. We can talk later." Spencer forced a smile.

"Are you sure? I don't have to sleep. I can stay here; you can talk to me about anything." Ashley squeezed Spencer's hand and slid her other hand on Spencer's cheek, trying to console her.

"I'll be fine. I just don't want to talk about it now and worry you more. Just get some rest; I'll talk to you about it later." Spencer smiled.

"Okay, fine." Ashley leaned in and kissed Spencer on the lips. All of a sudden Spencer jumped when she heard a tap on the window. She looked outside and she saw a camera man taping everything...

_They. Just. Got. This. Kiss. On. Tape._


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Sorry for the delayed update… at least I warned you it was going to be awhile. I had a busy weekend. But here is your update! Intoxicated Violence reminded me to get on the ball since it's been six whole days since my last update… my bad… so I wrote as quickly as I could.**

**Halfreck3929…yeah you're probably right…she was a tad bit too coherent once she woke up… a little non-reality for ya…sorry.**

**Anyways, hope you enjoy this update! I appreciate all the reviews keep 'em coming! And thanks for reading my story…means a lot. **

"Oh my God. That camera man just got this on tape!? It's going to be on the news...in like two point four seconds!!" Spencer started to freak out on her bed.

Ashley stood there in shock; she wasn't sure what to do. _Should I go run after that camera man? Should I go get Paula? Comfort Spencer...ugghh maybe she won't think this tape is that big of a deal..._

"Ashley are you in there? Do you know what just happened?" Spencer waved her hands at Ashley trying to get her attention.

"Umm...Spence maybe it isn't going to be that bad?" Ashley shrugged her shoulders.

Spencer looked up at Ashley and tilted her head and smiled, "You know...you're right. What the hell, let the world know. I'm glad to be alive, you know? So...let the world know. But before they do...think you can get my mom?" Spencer gave a half-smile, "I think I should let her know, before she sees it on TV."

Ashley gave Spencer a peck on the cheek and headed out the door.

Paula came running in the room, "Ashley you stay out here until I call you."

Ashley made a face through the window at Spencer. Spencer smiled.

Paula ran up to Spencer, "What happened exactly?!"

Spencer scrunched her face, "Uhh, this camera man was peeking through the hospital window and I didn't notice. He caught me and Ashley kissing on tape... I'm sor--"

Before Spencer couldn't finish apologizing Paula interrupted her, "Can't you two keep you hands off each other for one second?! God, I have to call your father. I just...I just... I don't know what to do about this." Paula flipped on the television, "Watch the news and call me if you see anything..._ANYTHING_ at all about you or the family."

Paula angrily stormed out of the room and slammed the door.

Ashley came walking in, "So I'm guessing your mom didn't take that well by the looks of it?" Ashley gave a chuckle, trying to lighten the situation.

Spencer rolled her eyes, "Yeah, whatever. I'm over it. I tried pleasing them for so long, I tried to protect the family's reputation...and look what happened to me. I almost die, my brother's in jail...so I'm just going to say screw it and live my life the way I want to. Who care's if the whole world knows I'm gay...it's not the end of the world, ya know?"

Ashley smiled. _She was happy that Spencer was finally accepting that being gay wasn't the end of the world._ "Well, I'm glad you are finally going to take the weight off your shoulders. Everyone will get over it." Ashley walked closer and held Spencer's hand.

Spencer smiled, "Hey, why don't you go home and get some rest. When my dad and mom get back to yell at me about how I ruined my life...I'd rather have you sleeping and getting some rest and food. Eat something...for me please?"

Ashley smiled, "Are you sure? I can stay you know." Ashley rubbed Spencer's hand with her thumb as she held it.

"I'm sure, go get some rest. Come back later, I'm not going anywhere for two days." Spencer smiled and held out her face for a good bye kiss.

Ashley leaned in and gave her a peck on the lips, "I'll be back in a couple of hours." Ashley then shut the door and headed home.

Spencer was staring out her window watching the trees blow around. She grinned, it was the first time in a while she had felt relieved. _ No more blackmail tape, I have Ashley, my parents haven't freaked out on me yet_. But over all Spencer was relieved and happy to be alive.

Spencer's thoughts were rudely interrupted by her parents barging into her room. Arthur was the first one to speak, "Spencer?! What happened, you were taped by the media?"

Spencer rolled her eyes, "Ashley and I were kissing and this camera man caught it on tape."

Arthur put his head in his hands, "Have you seen it on the television yet? God, what am I going to do? How am I going to run for president after this..." Arthur sat down in a chair and thought hard.

"I'm sorry Dad, but it's going to be fine. I'm going to be yesterday's news when this blows over." Spencer tried to make her father feel better, but she didn't know why he was freaking out. "Why are you making a big deal about it anyways? I thought you were okay with this...I thought you were going to change your views publicly...so why not sooner?"

Arthur tried to force a smile, "Well, when we go onto Barbara Walters in a week we will take car of this issue too. Yes, honey I'm okay with you being gay, I just don't know if the world is ready to handle that a Senator's daughter is gay and has a girlfriend she openly kisses."

Paula smiled, "Spence maybe you shouldn't kiss in public for a while. I mean we have to try and clean up your father's image now. We accept--" Paula was cut off and everyone's attention was diverted to the news screen.

**News anchor talks**, _"Today caught on tape: Senator Carlin's daughter was caught kissing another girl. How can he raise a homosexual daughter when he is sternly opposed to gay marriage? More on this story after the break."_

Everyone's jaws were dropped for different reasons. Paula couldn't believe how much media control she would have to start doing. Arthur couldn't believe that his president running days may be over before they even begun. Spencer couldn't believe the way her parents were looking at her...like she had just killed their first born.

Spencer refused to say the first word after that aired. So she sat in silence and twirled her thumbs around.

Arthur spoke to Paula, "How soon can you get us on Barbara Walters? We need to get this all straightened up, no pun intended, quickly and fast." Arthur started to pace around the room.

Paula looked at Spencer and then looked back at Arthur, "I can get us on as soon as next week. Spencer are you up for it? I know you're healing, but the public may sympathize with you if you go on like that."

Spencer just looked at her mom; she really didn't know what to say to that. "Sure mom, whatever you guys need. What do you want me to say? 'Cause I'm not sorry for kissing someone I love." Spencer crossed her arms.

"Well, we will figure it out later. And you should at least apologize to your father for probably ruining his career." Paula just glared at Spencer. Spencer stared back at her mother with no response. Paula was getting impatient, "Well? We don't have all day to wait around for your apology...so don't you have something to say to your father?" Paula tapped her foot on the concrete floor.

Spencer rolled her eyes and realized she should just give in. _She's going to stand there and glare at me until I give in isn't she? Well, I guess I am kind of sorry that I ruined my dad's rep. I tried so hard all these months and it was for nothing...because it got out anyways._

"I'm sorry Dad. I tried so hard all these months to keep the blackmail hidden; I should have tried harder this time. I'm sorry dad if I compromised your campaign or ruined our family's reputation, because I tried so hard over these past few months to keep Kyle's blackmail under wraps. So, I am sorry Dad." Spencer wanted to make sure that she emphasized the word dad because she wasn't sorry to her mother, because she was just being a bitch about the whole thing.

Arthur stared at Spencer and smiled but then had a confused look on his face. "Blackmail? Someone was blackmailing you honey and you didn't come to me for help?"

Spencer quickly turned her head at Paula, "I thought Mom told you..." Spencer didn't know her father was left out of the loop.

Arthur looked at Paula, "No, honey...she didn't tell me anything. Matter of fact, when were you planning on tell me this Paula? What else are you hiding from me?" Arthur freaked out all of a sudden.

"I uh didn't want to worry you during the campaign sweetie. I was going to tell you once everything blew over... I'm sorry Arthur but I didn't want to worry you." Paula inched closer towards Arthur.

"So this is why our baby girl is in the hospital? Protecting our family's reputation? And this is how we are treating her? God, Paula. You should have told me. She almost died protecting us, didn't she? This wasn't some random stalker obsessed kidnapper, was it?" Arthur started to pace around the room again.

Spencer tried to hide her smirk but she couldn't. She was happy that Arthur was telling Paula off.

"Arthur, I took care of it before I was going to try and take care of this. I handled it the best I could. I didn't want to worry you damnit! I'm sorry, but we have to concentrate on your reputation and how the public is viewing you now. And we can't mention this blackmail issue on Barbara either, because everyone thinks otherwise."

Arthur looked at Paula, "I can't talk to you about this right now. I'll meet you at home, set up the interview for next week." Arthur walked out of the room and slammed it.

"Arthur wait!!" Paula grabbed her purse and ran after Arthur before she left she popped her head back in the room. "If you think this conversation is over, young lady, you're so wrong."

Spencer rolled her eyes and rested her head up against her pillow and sighed_. Finally I'm in peace. I didn't know Mom didn't tell Dad. And what did she mean she took care of the blackmail issue before? I -- that doesn't make sense. Don't tell me she--- oh my God...she would... but she couldn't...oh my God...she did._


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews and thanks for reading. Enjoy the update!**

It was a week later and Spencer was sitting directly across from an American legend...Barbara Walters. She sat in-between Paula and Arthur on the couch. Spencer looked over at her mother and suddenly remembered their last conversation.

_"Mom, I have to ask you something." Spencer looked up at her mother._

_"Fine, ask away. Not like we can hide anything anymore." Paula paced around the room. "Oh by the way we are on Barbara next Thursday. You'll be healed enough to go on the show. Glen is coming on the show also, he's all bailed out of jail just awaiting sentencing."_

_Spencer relieved and sighed. She wasn't sure if she should wait and ask Glen first, but she decided just to ask Paula. "Mom...how exactly did Kyle die?"_

_"What do you mean, honey?" Paula started to tap her foot nervously. She bit into her fingernails as if the question would fade away._

_Spencer looked at her mother. She watched her tap her foot quickly and nervously. Spencer looked up at her mother's face trying to read her mother. It must be true. She had something to do with it, if not completely caused it. "Oh my God, I can't believe you mother! You killed him didn't you?!" Spencer jumped up on her bed and hurt herself in the process._

_"Keep you voice down, I'm still your mother after all. So what Spencer, I did what I had to do! I had to protect this family and this family's reputation. I can't help it I have a whore as a daughter who kissing anyone in their sight! You had just as much to do with this as I did." Paula walked around the room, trying to shift the blame onto Spencer as if they were playing hot potato._

_A tear strolled down Spencer's eye, "No, mother. I didn't take a human life. I thought you were supposed to save lives instead of take them. I can't believe this. He was a horrible person, I can give you that, but he didn't deserve to die! You disgust me mother; all you care about is this family's reputation." _

_Paula walked over to Spencer and dug her hand into Spencer's wound. Spencer squirmed and squeezed her eyes in pain. Paula dug her hand into Spencer's wound as if she was digging for the prize at the end of a cereal box. "You don't speak a word of this to your father. Only we will know and no one else can find out. Tell Ashley all you want, but I'm sure your relationship won't stand through that." Paula smirked and started to walk away._

_"You really are something else mother." Spencer shook her head and clenched on her wound._

_"Like mother like daughter." Paula chuckled, "You're exactly like me honey. You'll see."_

Spencer was knocked out of her flashback by her mother elbowing her but her mother's words still haunted her thoughts. "Answer the question honey." Paula smiled and rubbed Spencer's leg. _God, I hate how fake my mother is._

"I'm sorry Ms. Walters. It's hard talking about the horrific incident, could you repeat the question?" Spencer wanted to burst out and shout "_My mother's a murderer!"_ But she refrained and knew she couldn't tell anyone.

Barbara smiled and re-crossed her legs, "Of course Spencer take you're time, I cannot begin to fathom what you must have endured throughout that entire time. My question was what was going through your head as you were bound to a chair at the hands of an unstable human being?"

_I tried to concentrate on the interview but it was hard sitting next to my mother, the murderer. She talked as if taking a human life was as easily as breathing oxygen. _

"I'm sorry. There were tons of things going through my mind. First and foremost was, is he going to hurt anyone I loved? If he didn't get what he wanted, who was he going to come after next? My family? My girlfriend? I couldn't let anyone else get hurt. It was bad enough he was hurting me, I couldn't bear having anyone else getting hurt. I realized that his psychotic rampage ended with me. I saw my opportunity and took it." Spencer paused and looked at Barbara. A tear strolled down Spencer's cheek as she recalled the day it happened.

Barbara held a notepad and looked down at it. "I know this is hard for you Spencer but your attacker Matt, what was his reason for kidnapping you? Did he ever lead on and tell you why? The reason I ask this is, his father was a wealthy business man and he didn't necessarily need the money."

_I looked at Barbara and almost let the blackmail slip but I re-thought my sentence._ "I don't know. He never said why, he said he just wanted money and I was the easiest way to get it. I think he was somewhat lashing out on me, because he liked me and I told him I wouldn't date him. I may have provoked him in some sort of way by denying him."

"We are all glad that you escaped this, you were injured, correct?"

"Yes, I was. He left a knife a few feet away from me, because he was cutting my ropes loose. So, I jumped at the chance and cut the rest of the ropes loose and I stabbed him. I had to. He could have killed me, or a loved one."

Barbara made a confused face, "You said he was cutting your ropes loose...why was that?"

Spencer realized she let that slip. She hasn't told anyone, not even Ashley yet, that Matt tried to rape her. It was now or never, she had to deal with this someday, somehow.

"I haven't told anyone this yet," Spencer looked at her lap and paused.

"What is it honey?" Paula rubbed her back.

Spencer looked at her mother and then looked at Barbara. "He forced himself on me. He grabbed my head and forced me to kiss him. I was wearing a dress and he ran his fingers on my bare thigh. He was going to rape me. I took his weakness and played upon him. He wanted me, and I realized if I didn't fight back he may just let me loose. So the next time he tried to kiss me, I didn't resist. I kissed him back and it worked. He started to let me go, because in his sick and twisted reality I wanted to be with him."

Spencer started to sob loudly. She recalled the exact moment in her head. She felt his hands running on her body at the very moment, she shivered at the thought. Barbara leaned in to touch Spencer's lap to comfort her and Spencer jumped up in fright.

"I'm sorry; I thought...you...were him. Can we take a break?" Spencer cried.

Barbara's eyes glossed over, "Sure, take whatever time you need. I'll interview the rest of your family."

Spencer sat on the couch with the rest of her family as Barbara interviewed the rest of her family. Spencer was physically there but her mind was elsewhere. She was re-living the moment she thought her life was being taken away from her. She didn't like feeling like this, like she was on the edge of a cliff waiting for someone to push her off. The interview finally came to a close and Glen immediately walked up the Spencer.

"Spencer, why didn't you tell me he tried to do that? You should of--"

Spencer cut off Glen, "Why? It hurts to even think about it. I kissed him Glen, I pretended to like it. He thought I liked it! He ran his hand up my thigh violating me, in every which way Glen. I'd rather not think about one of the worst moment in my life!" Spencer wiped away her tears.

Glen went touch Spencer's back to console her and Spencer brushed it away. "Spencer, are you okay?"

"I just need some space." Spencer walked away, "I'm driving myself back to the hotel."

Paula marched over to Spencer, "Where do you think you're going?"

Spencer turned around, "I need...I'm going to the hotel and calling Ashley. I haven't seen her or talked to her in the past three days because you have had the family doing interviews and media control. So I think I deserve a little time to myself."

"Fine, the rest of the family is going sight seeing around the city. Are you sure you don't want to see the New York Lights with us?" Paula crossed her arms.

"When is this interview airing mother?" Spencer needed to know how much time she had to tell Ashley what happened that day before she found out through the television.

"It was a live interview Spencer. It was aired as the interviewed happened."

Spencer's jaw dropped, she did not want to call Ashley once she got back to the hotel but she knew she had too. "Well, I'm leaving."

Spencer arrived back at the hotel and stared at her cell phone in her hand. She had butterflies in her stomach as she dialed the numbers. She was never so nervous to call anyone before. _Please, please, don't pick up, go to voicemail, don't pick up. Damnit._

_"Hello?" _

_"Spencer? How are you holding up?" _

_"I'm fine; I'm back at the hotel, talking to you. So I'm doing better already." It was true, Ashley's voice instantly made her feel better._

_"I watched the interview Spencer. Why didn't you tell me? I'm not mad at you."_

_It felt as if a weight was lifted from her shoulders once Ashley said that, "I'm sorry...I just didn't want to talk about it. Every time I thought about it, I felt as if he was in the room doing it to me. I didn't want to think about it and talking about it...how would that help? It wouldn't, so I didn't. I figured once I was ready, I would tell you." _

_Ashley was silent for a while, "It just hurts that you couldn't tell me right away, and that's all. I feel like if you can't confide in the things that are hurting you the most...what can you confide in me? Is that why you haven't wanted to kiss or touch lately?" _

_Spencer felt a tear trickle down her cheek, "I'm sorry Ashley, and I don't know what else to say besides that. I needed time. He violated my space, he jammed his tongue down my throat, is that what you wanted to hear? I had to pretend to like it. I had to kiss him back, and I didn't want to tell you those things, I feared it would hurt you. So I'm sorry." _

_"Don't be sorry, it just hurts. I have to go Spencer, you come home tomorrow right?" _

_Spencer felt as if Ashley didn't want to talk to her, "Yes, I'll see you tomorrow right?"_

_"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow." Click._

Spencer silently cried on her hotel bed. She couldn't believe Ashley was mad at her for not telling her. She understood it, _but doesn't she know what I'm going through right now? Can't she understand where I'm coming from? Spencer went through her mom's medicine bag and downed a few of her anti-anxiety pills._ Spencer closed her eyes and enjoyed the calming feeling the pills brought. _Ahh, no more worries._


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Thanks for reviewing and reading, I really appreciate it all. I hope you are still enjoying my story. I love to hear all of your thoughts and inputs on everything. Anne this one is dedicated to you!! Because I love ya so much…and that's no joke. **

**I know this update is kind of short…again, but there will be another chapter up by tomorrow or the next day. Enjoy!!**

Spencer was getting off the airplane and entering the airport. She glanced at her phone. _No missed calls._ Ashley still hasn't called Spencer since the night before when Ashley found out that Spencer was almost raped by Matt.

Spencer sighed and wasn't sure what she was going to do once she arrived home. The ride back to the house was in silence. Spencer blankly stared at the scenery passing by. Glen kept his eyes on Spencer as did her father. Paula was busy talking on the phone with Arthur's campaign manager. Paula was trying to up the family's image and see how the family's reputation was after the Barbara Walters interview.

Spencer put in her ear buds and flipped on her iPod. She needed to drown out her mother's annoying voice. Spencer smiled as she listened to the song. _Fall by Something Corporate _came on, her favorite band. She started to sing in her head, _I close my eyes, thought I was lost but I was stranded..._ Spencer was rudely interrupted by her mother throwing her cell phone at her.

"What mother?" Spencer pulled out her ear buds and snipped at her. She wasn't in the mood.

"I thought I would let you know that our Barbara interview has fixed every thing that you ruined."

"Paula!" Arthur shouted at Paula.

"What? It's only true." Paula acted like her normal self. She didn't care to notice how upset and hurt Spencer has been.

"She's going through something, would it be that hard to be a little more considerate?" Arthur scoffed at Paula. Paula just rolled her eyes at Arthur.

"Well, Larry King and Oprah want to do interviews with you Spencer. They called up Bert your father's campaign manager--" Spencer cut off Paula.

"I don't fucking care!" Spencer took her mother's cell phone and threw it back at her.

"Watch your mouth Spencer. They want an answer in a week."

"Fine! I'll think about it, now leave me alone." Spencer took down her hair and threw on sunglasses. She didn't want her mother to see she was crying.

They arrived at home and Spencer got out of the car, leaving her sunglasses on. She couldn't stop the crying. She was feeling anxious, nervous. She felt as if she needed more Xanax, the anti-anxiety pills to calm her down.

Spencer stared at the floor as she walked towards her house. "Spencer?" She heard a voice emerge from her porch. She knew exactly who the voice belonged to. She looked up at Ashley threw her sunglasses.

"Ash? I figured you weren't going to talk to me for a long time." Spencer stood far away from Ashley as she spoke.

"Spencer is everything okay? Why are you wearing sunglasses, did someone hurt you?" Ashley walked closer and Spencer inched back.

Spencer didn't know why she was backing away from Ashley, but she was. She remembered last time Ashley kissed her all she could see was Matt ramming his tongue down her throat. She didn't want to think of Ashley that way again. She didn't want to feel like that until she knew she was better.

Ashley moved closer and faster this time. She gently grabbed a hold of Spencer's arms and took down her sunglasses. "You're crying tell me what's wrong. I'm not going to hurt you." Ashley said it as sweetly as possible.

Spencer smiled through her tears. She knew Ashley wasn't going to hurt her in anyway possible but the flashbacks to Matt came uncontrollably in her head. "I know you're not. I can't help but imagine him doing those things to me." Spencer shyly looked up into Ashley's eyes.

Ashley smiled, hugged Spencer, and held Spencer's head to her chest, "I understand. We are going to get through this, together. Okay? I'm here to help you Spencer."

Spencer slowly stopped sobbing, "I'm sorry you had to find out like that."

Ashley petted Spencer's hair to console her, "Shh, that's all in the past." _I really wish you would have told me though Spencer. It still hurts to know you couldn't confide in me from the get-go. _Ashley shook off her thoughts, and realized she had to push her true feelings aside because Spencer's feelings and problems were more important at the moment.

Spencer leaned on Ashley's shoulder as they sat on Spencer's porch. Spencer thoroughly enjoyed Ashley's company. _She felt safe._ She suddenly realized she shouldn't have been running away from the very person who saved her. She always felt safe in Ashley's arms. _I feel safe, I know I'm safe. I feel safe._ Spencer kept repeating it in her head.

Spencer reached over and grabbed a hold of Ashley's hand and held it tight. Ashley grinned. "You don't have to--"

Spencer smiled, "But I want to." Spencer leaned in and gave Ashley a peck on her cheek. Spencer smiled_, wow I didn't think of him one bit. Maybe I was just scared and I needed to get over that._

Paula was watching from the window and figured it was time to call in Spencer. She didn't like how close Spencer and Ashley was. She hated Ashley for putting her family through all of this. _If it wasn't for her, Spencer would still be appearing straight to the public eye, my family wouldn't have to worry about its reputation, and I wouldn't have had to commit a sin. _

Paula opened the front door and stood in the doorway. "Spencer, I think it's time for you to come in and get some rest."

"Why? I'm sitting out on our porch; I'm not doing anything wrong."

"We have stuff we have to take care of tomorrow for Glen." Paula stood with her hand on her hip.

Spencer rolled her eyes at Ashley. "It's okay Spence, I'll come by tomorrow, kay?" Ashley leaned in and kissed Spencer on the cheek.

Spencer smiled and touched her cheek. Ashley's warm lips touching her cheek felt good, it made her forget all her problems in her life for that spilt second.

Spencer walked in her house with her head down. "Spencer you are looking a little down and anxious. Take some of these." Paula reached in her bag and threw a bottle of Xanax at Spencer.

Spencer stared at the bottle, "Um, I don't need these, Mom." Spencer set them on the table and started to walk up the stairs.

"Spencer, if you feel anxious or nervous, these will calm your nerves. You should take some." Paula was pushing the pills onto Spencer, because she knew she could control Spencer on them. The pills calmed her nerves and it would make her subdued, submissive, and compliant... _just the way Paula wanted her daughter._

"Fine! I'll take the pills to my room and if I need them I'll take some. But I'm feeling great right now mother, the best I have in the past week or so." _And Ashley is the main reason. She has to be, I know she is._

"Have a good nights rest. I'll be waking you up early." Paula shouted from the bottom step.

Spencer waved good night and walked into her room and jumped onto her bed. She sat the pill bottle on her night stand. Spencer lay in her bed and tried to get some sleep. She tossed and turned throughout the night, she couldn't get her mind out of her thoughts. She thought about Ashley. She pictured Matt finding a way out and breaking into her house and finishing what he started, like he said he would do. She couldn't get that her mother was a murderer and there wasn't a thing she could do about it. She could tell someone, but her brother would go down too. And she wouldn't have that.

Spencer kept tossing and turning and she needed to shut off her thoughts somehow. She turned to her night stand and stared at the bottle of pills. She knew that would shut off her thoughts, calm her, make her feel better. She reached over grabbed two little pills and took off the cap to her bottle of water and swallowed the pills. It took awhile for them to affect her, but feeling the pills slide down her throat almost instantly made her feel better.

Spencer woke up the next morning and she felt groggy. She figured the only way that was going to go away if she hopped into the shower and popped another set of pills. She didn't see anything wrong with taking these pills, her mom gave them to her, so she figured it will only help her get through the day with ease.

Before Spencer hopped in the shower, Ashley called Spencer.

_"Hello?"_

_"Hey beautiful, what are you up to?" Ashley smiled through the phone._

_"I was just about to hop into the shower, wanna come over after?" Spencer turned on the shower and let it warm up as she spoke._

_"Don't you have stuff to do with your mom today?" _

_"Screw her. Don't get me started on her. I'd rather be spending my time with you. So I'm going to call you when I'm done with my shower."_

_"Works for me. I have something for you too. Call me when you're done, bye love ya." _

_"Love you too," Click._

Spencer hopped in the shower and it was nice to feel the warm water strolling down her back. She let the water fall down onto her body for a couple of minutes, it started out as soothing. Then all of a sudden the water hitting everywhere on her body felt like Matt's hands all over her. She needed the water to stop, _it wouldn't stop_. She tried shaking the feeling out of her head, _she couldn't._ It wouldn't budge. _Think of Ashley, Ashley, happy thoughts._ Finally, the horrible feeling went away when she thought of Ashley.

All of a sudden the mixture of the hot streaming water and the pills Spencer took made her feel light headed and she was feeling dizzy. Spencer tried to control the feeling, but this time she couldn't. All of a sudden she fainted. As she fell down in the shower her leg hit the drain and she closed it. The water was filling up the bathtub...quickly.

Spencer lay unconscious as the water filled up around her. Someone needed to come save her, before it was too late.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Sorry the chapter is so short. I just got everything I needed out for this chapter so quickly, sorry. I'll make it up to you next chapter. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. Thanks for being such awesome readers. **

**Sorry for such a delayed update. I had writers block for a bit. I made a Spashley video one night when I was bored and having writers block. If you go to youtube and click channels and type in nodoubtaboutit18... my vid will come up. It's nothing special, but if you're bored and want something to youtube. Go for it.**

**Enough said, enjoy.**

Ashley sat at her house waiting by the phone and she was starting to get impatient. She called Spencer back and there was no answer on her cell phone. _She's still in that damn shower? Uhh. _Ashley grabbed her house keys and jetted out the door. Ashley decided just to go surprise her. She really wanted to give her a bracelet with a heart dangling on it for her. Spencer needed a pick-me-up and she figured surprising her was the best way. _Little did Ashley know, she was going to be the one getting the surprise._

Ashley let herself in the house since there were no other cars in the driveway but Spencer's. "Spencer?" She called out as she walked up the stairs, but she heard the shower running so she kept walking up the stairs.

Ashley walked into Spencer's room and knocked on the bathroom door. "Spencer?" There was no answer.

"Spencer? Ready or not, I'm coming in." Ashley opened the door and was surprised Spencer still hadn't heard her barging in.

"Spencer what's taking so long in there? This is probably the longest shower, EVER. I wanted to give you something." Ashley talked to the shower curtain, because little did she know what was going on behind it.

Ashley saw water dripping onto to the floor from the shower. Then she realized Spencer hadn't said a word yet. "Spencer?" _Her voice shook as she spoke_. She drew back the curtain and her jaw dropped, "Oh my God. Spencer!"

Ashley jumped into the bathtub and dragged Spencer onto the bathroom tile. Ashley gently hit Spencer's face a couple of times, "Come on, Spencer. Come on. Wake up, wake up, wake up. What the hell happened? Wake up damnit."

Ashley shook Spencer. She leaned in to her chest and listened for her heartbeat. _There still was one. Thank God._ Ashley leaned in and listened carefully, she could hear her breathing...faintly. She couldn't give her mouth to mouth, she was breathing. _Why won't you wake up? _

Ashley kept gently slapping Spencer's face. _Finally_ she came to.

Spencer slowly opened her eyes and started coughing. "Ashley?" She said groggily. She coughed some more. "What happened?"

Ashley smiled. "I am always saving your ass."

Spencer let out a laugh and smiled. "I owe you my life."

"Here, let me help you up and get you some clothes." Ashley picked up Spencer from the floor and walked into her room. She went to grab some clothes out of the drawer when she noticed the bottle of pills on her dresser. She stared at them for a long time; she couldn't believe what she saw.

"I'm going to borrow some clothes!" Ashley shouted into the bathroom. Ashley realized she was all wet from jumping into the bathtub. Ashley took the bottle of pills and shoved them into the jacket pocket she was borrowing from Spencer.

"Sorry it took so long, here's some clothes Spence." Ashley held out the clothes and waited for Spencer to grab them. Ashley threw on the borrowed clothes.

"So what happened Spencer? How did you fall or what?" Ashley helped Spencer walk to Spencer's bed.

Spencer sat down on her bed, "Uh, I don't know. One minute I felt Matt's hands all over me. The water hitting my body felt like he was all over me. I started to freak out then I just thought of happy thoughts and it was over. Then it was really steamy in the shower and I turned around too quickly or something 'cause that's all I remember." Spencer paused and looked up at Ashley.

"I see." Ashley didn't feel like talking to her at the moment. She was still trying to sink in that fact she found a pill bottle. She wasn't sure if Spencer was taking them all the time, but it would explain her sudden calmness. She didn't want to accuse her, but the bottle _was_ almost gone.

"What's wrong Ash? You seem kind of short answered and direct." Spencer looked up at Ashley with wide eyes.

Ashley refused to make eye contact at first. She was still debating in her head to say anything. She wanted to see if Spencer noticed the missing pills. _That's what I will do_.

"Nothing. I'm just worried about you, that's all."

"You shouldn't be, I think I'll be fine." Spencer started to fidget sitting there and she started to tap her foot. "Come sit next to me." Spencer made a motion for Ashley to sit down.

Ashley came walking over and sat her hand on Spencer's lap. Spencer smiled. Ashley rubbed Spencer's thigh and was happy to me sitting next to the girl she loved. "I have something for you."

Spencer felt Ashley's hand, and she started to slowly think about Matt forcing his hand on her thigh. _Stop it Spencer, stop. Don't think about it, you know you can do it. You know you don't have to be scared anymore. I need to feel relaxed._

"What do you have for me?" Spencer faked a smile and looked over at her night stand. _Where's my pills, I need them. I'm going to freak out on Ashley, if I don't calm my nerves. Ashley's touch is so gentle, it's sweet. It's totally the opposite of what Matt's was, that pervert. Ugh there I go again, everything comes back to him. The only thing that stops him from entering my mind are those pills. Where the hell are they?!_

Ashley looked at Spencer. She saw that she was nervously looking at her nightstand. Ashley couldn't believe it. "Well, I got you this bracelet." Ashley stood up and threw it on the bed. "But if you want these more, fucking have them." Ashley tossed the bottle of pills on the bed.

Spencer stared at the pills on the bed, "Ash...it's not what you think. My mom gave them to me, to calm my nerves. I get anxious and she said whenever I think about Matt to take them. She said it will start with the coping process or whatever."

Ashley shook her head and looked at Spencer, "No. Those pills do the exact opposite. Those pills are a cop out. Those pills make you not feel. You shouldn't take them, Spencer." Ashley stood with her hands crossed.

Spencer looked down at put on the bracelet that Ashley got for her. Ashley smiled. She knew Spencer would make the right decision. "Good, so you're not going to take them right?"

Spencer looked up at Ashley and smiled, "I just need one more. Then that's it." Spencer reached over to the bottle.

Ashley shook her head and backed away towards the door, "If you think that's more important to take that, than anything...then I'm walking out that door." Ashley stood by the door, she meant what she said. "If you need those pills, then you obviously need them more than me."

Spencer sat on the bed blankly staring at Ashley. _She seriously debated between the two._ Ashley made her happy and ecstatic. But always had vivid flashbacks to Matt and his attack on her. She didn't want to loose the person she loved.

"If you have to think about it Spence... and you're clutching those pills." Ashley started to tear up and walk away and out of the door.

Spencer stared at Ashley's back and then looked down at the pills in her hands. Ashley was the most important person to ever enter her life. _Was she about to let her walk away?_

Ashley started to sob loudly and she was walking as slow as her legs would allow.

_Spencer wasn't following._

Spencer threw the pills to the other side of the room and ran over to Ashley and fell to the floor. She clutched onto Ashley's leg holding her firmly against her chest, not allowing Ashley to move. Spencer started sobbing, "I need help, Ash. I can't get him out of my mind. _Ever._ I don't want him there. I love you Ashley. I need your help."

Ashley started to cry harder. She got out of Spencer's grip and kneeled next to her. "That's all I needed you to ask. I'm here for you Spencer; we are going to get through this together." Ashley lifted up Spencer's chin, "look at me."

Spencer looked up at Ashley as she wiped away some of her tears.

"I'm going to be here with you, no matter what. We're going to get you some help; you and I are going to get through this. No rush." Ashley smiled. The first step to getting through everything was allowing someone to help... and that's exactly what Ashley was trying to do all along. Spencer just wouldn't let her in, until now.

Ashley whispered in Spencer's ear, _"It's just you and me now. Nothing else matters."_


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Here's the update. I don't have much to say besides, I hope you enjoy this update. Thanks for all the reviews. Thanks for reading. Enjoy the update.**

It was roughly two weeks after Spencer decided to finally deal with her problems instead of masking her pain with pills. It was her first day back in school...since what seemed forever. She hadn't talked to anyone from school since the entire world found out she was gay and Ashley Davies was her girlfriend. She didn't know what her cheerleading squad was going to say, _let alone do to her_. She was still contemplating quitting, but she figured might as well stick with it since she's been doing it forever.

Spencer tried to shake out all her insecurities about coming back to school. She had butterflies in her stomach as if it was her first day at kindergarten. Spencer turned up the music as she drove to school. She looked over at Ashley and smiled. It seemed as if Ashley made everything better. Looking at her almost made her loose the butterfly feeling in her stomach...almost. 

"You should have let me drive today," Ashley said as she turned down the music.

"Why? Am I driving badly?" Spencer started to get a little self conscious about her driving.

Ashley laughed, "No, but you're going about like ten miles an hour. Are you trying to delay the time or what?"

Spencer looked down and glanced at the speedometer "Oh, I didn't realize I was going that slow. I guess my foot just knows how badly I want to turn around and not go to school. I don't know how bad it's going to be...people are probably talking about me. I mean I'm used to people talking about me, but not this kind of gossip."

Ashley reached over and took the back of her hand and gentle touched Spencer's face. "It's going to be fine, I'm sure of it. What's a little meaningless gossip going to do us? You got passed the rough part...you're parents. So if you can deal with them, I'm sure you can deal with a bunch of stupid high schoolers."

"You're right. You're completely right." Spencer tried to believe what Ashley said, but she couldn't. _Ashley doesn't care because she wasn't the most popular girl in the school, head cheerleader, and school council president. God, I just wish the whole world didn't have to find out. Maybe they will not mention anything and just feel bad about the whole kidnapping thing._

"I know I'm right."

Spencer parked the car and looked up at the building. Today the building looked surprisingly large. The building was swallowing Spencer whole, she was so not looking forward to school like she used to.

"Deep breaths Spencer, deep breaths. Today is going to go by faster then you know it."

Spencer looked over at Ashley, "I hope you're right."

Spencer got out of the car and slammed it shut. She already felt eyes looking at her. Even if people weren't looking at her, she felt as if they were. They were right on time for school, thanks to Spencer's slow driving. She didn't want to arrive extra early and have more awkward stares. The bell rang and Spencer was happy she didn't have to stick around and talk to anyone.

"Hey, I'll see you at lunch, later." Spencer shouted to Ashley as they parted ways.

"Yup, see ya at lunch!!" Ashley shouted back.

Spencer slowly walked to her class_. I can just hop back into my car and head out. No one will notice...maybe they will understand. No Spencer, come on. This isn't who you are. You are a hot, confident girl, now show it damnit._ Spencer sucked it up and headed to class. She was trying to change her way of thinking around and go into class happy about it.

Spencer whipped open the door to her class and the rest of the students were already sitting in their desks. She felt every eye look into her direction. She felt every eye give her an empathic look and some gave her a disgusted look. She wanted to turn invisible at every look she received, but she decided to embrace the attention like she used to.

She sat down next to Brittany and Amber. "Hey guys, what's up?"

Brittany and Amber were her so-called best friends and cheer squad buddies. Her so-called best friends hadn't called her since they found out she was gay. They called her once they found out she was kidnapped, but once they saw the news, they hadn't bothered to call her.

"Why are you talking to us?" Brittany snapped.

Amber slapped Brittany's hand, "Be nice."

"Guys, I'm still the same friend you had all throughout junior high and high school. So chill. I'm still your squad captain--"

Spencer was interrupted by the teacher, "Spencer Carlin. I know this is your first back in classes after a long leave of absence, so I take it you can't remember that we are supposed to be silent while I am talking?" 

Spencer rolled her eyes, "Sorry Mr. Dublin."

"But by all means, if you're conversation is so much more important, why don't you join the rest of the class in on it." The rest of the class turned their heads and stared at Spencer.

"No thanks, I'm good."

"I thought you'd say that. Now, don't mind if I start teaching again? Okay..." The teacher trailed off into his lecture and Spencer just glared at him the entire time_. I've always hated this teacher and I couldn't remember why until now._ The bell finally rang and Spencer was relieved to get out of that class.

Amber caught up with Spencer after class, "Hey, sorry about Brittany. You know how she can be sometimes. Sorry for being such a bad friend and not calling you. So, how have you been? How are you holding up?"

Spencer always knew Amber was the better friend. She was always so understanding and meaningful. "Thanks, I needed to hear that. But I am doing well thanks for asking. Today's been a little rough already, but I think I'll make it."

Amber smiled and playfully hit Spencer on the arm, "Puh-lease, we have been through a lot worse together. Getting dirty looks isn't the first time we have gotten them and it won't be the last. So are you still going to be cheering with us? 'Cause I remember you were thinking about quitting a while back." The bell rang and both girls rolled their eyes, "Hey I'll walk you to class as we finish talking." Amber grabbed the rest of the books out of her locker and walked Spencer to her class.

"Thanks. Well, yeah I figured why quit cheerleading when I have done it so long, ya know? So hopefully the rest of the girls on the squad don't hate me or don't look at me differently now that they know I'm gay. But oh well, we will see at practice tonight, right?"

"I'll have a talk with them, but I'm sure they are all understanding...hopefully. If not, you have Brittany and me to stand by your side. Well, here's your class, I'll talk to you at lunch, right?"

"Yes, I'll see you at lunch." Spencer smiled and hugged Amber good-bye. _Oh shit, I told Ashley I would have lunch with her. I don't know if they will like her at my table. I've had boys sit at the table with me, when I was dating them so Ashley's no different, right? I hope so. But I know how unwelcoming my group of friends are, if I can even call them my friends. Amber seems like she's still a good friend. God, when is this class going to be over.  
_  
Spencer felt the person behind her tapping her on her shoulder. She slowly turned around, "yeah?" She annoyingly asked. The guy snapped her out of a good day dream.

"I uh was wondering if you had a pen I could borrow?" The guy asked her. He seemed to be new because he didn't look familiar to her.

"Yeah sure." Spencer dug through her purse and found a spare pen, "here you go."

"Thanks. I'm Jack, by the way. Are you new? I haven't seen you since I got here. I moved here like two weeks ago."

Spencer smiled, "How cute. Nope, I've just been uhh absent for a while. But I've lived here all my life."

"I haven't really met anyone yet. Maybe you can show me around town?" Jack smiled at Spencer. 

"Yeah sure, I'd love to." _Shit,_ _did I just agree to that? Damnit, not like I can take it back now._ Spencer was used to openly flirting with guys and making conversation. She accidentally accepted his offer. _Well, it's not like it is a date or anything. He just wants to get acquainted with the town and make friends._

The bell rang and Spencer was saved by it. It stopped the conversation from going farther. "I'll see ya later bye." Spencer shouted to Jack as she walked out of the class.

She went to a couple more classes then she ended up at lunch. She saw Ashley sitting at a table waiting for her. Ashley spotted her and waved her down. "Hey Ash."

"Hey...so how has your day been so far?" Ashley threw a grape in her mouth after she talked.

"Uh, interesting so say the least. Hey, Amber wanted me to sit at lunch with them; did you want to sit over there?"

Ashley looked back at the table and looked back at Spencer. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, she asked. So I figured I would humor her and ask if you actually wanted to go over there." Spencer tilted her head as she asked. She was still standing by the table and had yet to sit down next to Ashley.

"I'd rather not, but if you want to go have lunch with them. Go ahead; I don't want to stop you."

Spencer touched Ashley's hair and ran her hand through it, "I'd rather have lunch with my girlfriend." Spencer sat down next to Ashley.

Ashley smiled, "Great. Now, let me tell you what happened today."

Spencer grabbed a handful of Ashley's grapes and ate them, "what happened?"

"My dad--" Ashley was cut off by Amber plopping down at their table.

"Spencer! I thought you were going to sit by us today. Plus, we have this amazingly gorgeous guy talking about you and asking about you! He's new and he just moved in--oh right, I forgot. You're not into guys anymore."

Spencer gave a half-smile she wasn't sure what to say. "Yeah, must be weird for you huh?" Spencer said sarcastically. "This is my girlfriend Ashley."

Amber smiled, "Hi, I'm Amber...sorry about that whole pushing you in the fountain thing, that happened ages ago."

Ashley rolled her eyes, "Yes that was so nice of you guys. But, thanks for the apology. Better late then never, right? Isn't that what they say?"

"Well, I'll sit over here with you guys today, if you don't mind."

"No, not at all." Spencer said. She was happy she was talking to her old friends. Because lately the only person it has been, was Ashley. _Ashley was great, don't get me wrong...but it's nice talking to my old friends I have known forever. I miss the old me._

"So what I was trying to tell you was that my dad called me today and left a voice mail saying that he was tired of sitting at home all the time and not living on the road... so he decided to pack a bag and head out to L.A for the week. He said he's going to play with a friend's band for the week." Ashley laughed.

"Are you alright? Oh my god, your dad just packed up and left?" Amber chimed in before Spencer could say anything. Spencer set her hand on Ashley's thigh and caressed it for comfort.

"Yeah, it's no biggie. He said he'll come back in a week. I understand and I'm kind of glad. He's been annoying at the house all these months. Frankly, I'm impressed he lasted this long. He was taking up unusual hobbies, playing golf, being Mr. Fix-it around the house. So, I think a week away will be good for him. He's been going crazy around the house." Ashley turned and looked at Spencer and smiled. She grabbed a hold of Spencer's hand under the table and held it tight.

Amber shook her head, "I see. Well that's awesome. A week at home by yourself? Party at Ashley's?" Amber menacingly grinned.

"No, no, no. No parties. I am not cleaning up that mess." Ashley shook her head and refused to clean up after a bunch of stupid drunk kids.

"Well, hey. If I get the rest of the squad to clean up the morning after mess...come on party at Ashley's?"

Ashley realized she was never going to back down, "All right, all right. I will think about it."

Amber got extremely excited and started clapping.

"I said I'd think about it... it's not a yes yet." Ashley laughed at how excited she was.

The bell rang and everyone was off to the rest of their classes. "Walk you to your class?" Ashley asked Spencer.

Spencer smiled, "I'd love that." Spencer and Ashley walked hand and hand as they walked down the hall.

"Want to come over later? I have the house to myself..." Ashley hinted around.

Spencer smiled and blushed, "Why, Ashley...I'd love to. We can head there after school. Here's my class. Meet me by my car once school's over, kay?"

"Okay." Ashley leaned in and kissed Spencer on the lips. "Bye."

Ashley walked off and Spencer walked into her classroom.

Spencer thought about going over to Ashley's house after school. She wasn't sure if she was ready to have sex with Ashley yet. She just started getting over her paranoid feelings about Matt always being there. She just started to kiss Ashley again without having the horrible flashback to...him. She was starting to get over it, but it was slow. She so badly wanted to have sex with Ashley, but she didn't know if her mind was ready for it. Her mind played tricks on her and she wasn't sure if her mind was going to do it again. She felt as if she was ready to at least try.

Spencer kept thinking about it, but she was interrupted by a tap again. She slowly turned around and smiled, "You want another pen?"

Jack grinned at Spencer, "I just wanted to see your gorgeous face."

Spencer smiled, she loved getting compliments. She shook her head and turned back around. 

He leaned in and whispered in Spencer's ear, "You were supposed to respond... hey Jack I like to look at your sexy face too." He quietly giggled.

Spencer rolled her eyes and turned around, "You wish." She was used to flirting and playing hard to get. It came out naturally. _I hope I'm not leading this guy on or anything. I hope Ash wouldn't be mad at me for flirting with this guy_. Shameless flirting went on throughout class and it helped pass the time. Before they knew it the bell rang and it was time for them to leave.

"Hey, you want to hang out after school?" Jack asked as he grabbed Spencer's books off her desk. "I'll carry these for you to your next class."

Spencer tried to grab her books back, "You really don't have to."

"Oh, but I do and I want to. Are you dodging my question? Do you want to hang out after school? Get some ice cream?" He asked as they playfully fought over who was going to carry her books. Spencer finally gave in and let him carry the books.

"I can't. I have cheerleading practice then I have to go to my girlfriend's house."

"Girlfriend? As in friend, right?"

"Yeah as in friend." For some reason Spencer didn't want to tell him she was gay. He was the only person who didn't know in the school and she wanted to keep it that way. She felt it was the way it used to be. He was the only person who didn't look at her differently. Spencer really liked that about him.

Jack and Spencer bumped into Ashley on the way to their next class. "Hey Spence?" Ashley said with a confused look. She saw that the guy standing next to Spencer was carrying her books.

"Uh thanks Jack, I'll take my books back. I'll catch up with you later." Spencer took her books back from him and he walked away.

"Who was that?" Ashley asked with a tone.

"Just this new kid in my class. He insisted on carrying my books... but I forgot I have cheerleading practice after school, so do you mind waiting an hour by my car? I'll give you the keys you can take it for an hour." Spencer smiled and reached into her pocket for her keys.

"I'll just wait in your car. An hour is nothing, if I'm waiting for you." Ashley took the keys out of Spencer's hands and they parted ways.

School was over and Ashley sat in Spencer's car and waited for her. Spencer came storming out of the gym and headed to the car early.

Spencer got in the door and slammed it shut.

"What's wrong? Practice end early?" Ashley sat up in her seat and looked at Spencer.

"They kicked me off the fucking team. Whatever. I'm over it. They will take it back." Spencer turned on the car and headed out of the school parking lot.

"Are you sure you're okay? Want to talk about it?" Ashley didn't take her eyes of Spencer.

"I'm sure, whatever. I'm sure they will come around, because they will totally suck with out me. So, whatever. I'm ready to go over to your house and relax." Spencer sighed and turned up the music. She sang her heart out on the way back to Ashley's. Ashley didn't say a word and let her get out her frustrations on the music.

"Ready to come in?" Ashley said as they sat in the driveway.

Spencer turned off the engine, "I'm so ready."

Spencer and Ashley were soon lying on her bed together. Spencer and Ashley's tongues were clashing against one another. Spencer gently bit Ashley's lip and Ashley giggled. Ashley let out, "oh how I've missed this." Ashley pushed Spencer off her and put her on her back. Ashley started to unbutton Spencer's jeans. Ashley kissed Spencer's stomach slowly and made eye contact with Spencer. She was waiting for Spencer to reassure her that it was okay to keep going. Spencer smiled and nodded at Ashley. She didn't want her to stop. _Every touch, every feel, felt amazing._

Ashley unzipped Spencer's jeans and slowly pulled them down. Spencer started to get Matt flashbacks once Ashley's warm hand touched her bare thigh. Spencer learned to force them away, but it wasn't budging this time. Spencer closed her eyes and wished it go away. Wished her moment of bliss wouldn't go away. Ashley started to slide down Spencer's underwear when Spencer started to kick. "Stop, stop. I can't. I'm sorry. It's too soon." Spencer quickly sat up on the bed.

Ashley smiled and threw on her shirt, "It's okay Spencer. I'll wait forever, for you." 

Spencer smiled and wasn't sure if this horrible thoughts were ever going to go away. She hoped and they have slowly, _but why do they keep occurring?_ Spencer still felt unsafe. Even though Matt was behind bars awaiting trial, she felt that he could still escape. She knew she couldn't rest easy, until he was fully put behind bars or dead.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Alright, I have an announcement to make…I'm going to be on vacation for a week, so you guys aren't going to be getting any updates for about week. Sorry! I know this chapter is probably kind of lame, sorry if it is. I hope you all enjoy the update. I'm looking forward to writing as soon as I get back from vaca. Thanks for the reviews, keep 'em coming. Thanks for reading. **

"Spencer wake your ass up! You're going to be late for school!" Spencer lay in bed as she heard her mom yelling through her door.

Spencer had been up; she just didn't feel like moving. _Last night was a bust. I really thought I could finally have sex with Ashley without having those horrible flashbacks, but he came into my head again. I'm going to try again; I bet Ashley is getting fed up with me trying then pushing her off. Uhh, I so don't want to go to school_.

Paula whipped open Spencer's door, "Are you going to lie there all day? Get up. You're going to school and put some clothes on. You have to impress those boys."

Spencer rolled her eyes. She was still trying to force Spencer out with guys. Even though she knows that Spencer is gay, she is still trying to force her to go out with guys.

Paula popped her head back in the room, "Spencer this is my last warning if you're not up in running in the next five minutes... I am going to drag you out of your bed and throw you in your car."

Spencer threw her blanket off her, frustrated. She slumped to her closet and threw on a faded band tee and a pair of her favorite ripped jeans. She scurried down her stairs but as she held open the front door her mother stopped her from going.

"Wait, young lady." Spencer stopped in her tracks and tried not to roll her eyes. "Yeah mom?"

Spencer rarely spoke to her mother any more. Every time she looked at her, she was disgusted. She couldn't believe her mother could take a human life and not have any remorse about it. She tried not to think about while talking to her mother, but she couldn't...so she just didn't talk to her mom at all.

"I'm leaving this afternoon. I have a conference out in Texas and it's going to be for the rest of the week. Your father is coming with me. So you will have the house to yourself...and Glen but he is rarely around these days. No parties, be safe. Love you. Have a good day at school." Paula kissed Spencer on the cheek.

Spencer looked at her mom, almost offended by the kiss. _Wow, she actually sounded motherly there for a second. But she just puts on this front, she's very convincing sometimes. Uhh, time for school._

Spencer walked over to Ashley's house and rang the doorbell. She tried letting herself in, but the door was locked. _Odd,_ she thought to herself. She called Ashley's phone. _No answer._ She called it again. _No answer._ She pounded on the front door, finally she answered the door.

"What the hell?" Spencer said with her hand on her hip.

"Sorry, sorry. I was in this deep sleep, sorry. Come in. I have to throw on some clothes for school. I'm sorry, Spence." Ashley ran up her stairs and threw on whatever clothes were lying on the floor and jetted back down the steps.

"It's cool, Ash. I was just worried something happened. Ready?" Spencer said as she held out her hand waiting for Ashley to grab it.

"Ready as I'll ever be." Ashley grabbed her books off the dining room table and grabbed a hold of Spencer's hand.

They walked across the street and hopped into Spencer's car. "So, I'm thinking about throwing a party while my dad is gone."

"Really? Oh my God, I forgot to tell you. My parents are leaving today for Texas. My mom has some surgeon conference thing to go to. So party at both houses? How awesome would that be?" Spencer smiled as she continued to keep her eyes on the road.

"I think it will be good for us. I think we totally need to have a party and get totally smashed." Ashley grinned. She was ready to get drunk. She wanted to throw all her worries away for a night, or two. She would never judge Spencer, or hurry her in any way, but sometimes it just got frustrating with all Spencer's worries and problems. Ashley felt as if she was carrying the weight on her shoulders some days. She wasn't used to being the strong, tough one and she didn't know it was this hard. Ashley figured a night of careless drinking would help her relax.

Spencer nodded her head, "I agree. I'll talk to Amber today and have her help get it set up. Sound good?"

"Yup. I'm ready for a party." Ashley said in the passenger seat.

They arrived at school and the bell had already rung. They both hopped out of the car at the same time and headed for the building.

"See you at lunch." Spencer said as she kissed Ashley on the lips bye.

"See you then." Ashley walked to class, smiling. She held her lips with her fingers. _There was just something different about that kiss. It felt like our first kiss. I think she may be finally over the whole Matt incident. She's been kissing me, but it always felt scared and forced. Like she wasn't ready to do it or she didn't want to. But that kiss. It felt amazing. I think I may have my Spencer back._

Spencer arrived in her first class and plopped down by Amber. "Ah Ms. Carlin, so glad you can join us." The teacher announced to the whole class.

_Ugh, what an ass. I'm going to get this teacher back by the end of the year. He'll be sorry that he's such an ass._ Spencer turned to Amber and made she the teacher's back was turned before she started to whisper. "Amber, Ash wants to throw a party at her house. We on?"

Amber's eyes lit up and she tried to mask her excitement so the teacher couldn't hear. "Oh my God. I am soooo starting to invite people like now. Friday night at Ashley's!" Amber turned to the guys sitting next to her, "Party at Ashley Davies...Friday night. There will be kegs."

Spencer rolled her eyes but was partly excited to be throwing a party. She hasn't done a party in so long; she can barely recall when it was. She was ready to have some fun with Ashley. She feels she was finally ready to let loose and have a good time, without any worries.

It was time for lunch and Spencer plopped down next to Ashley. "So Spence, I didn't think the party was going to get around school so fast. I had kids come up to me I didn't know and told me that there was a party at Ashley Davies' Friday night. Then I'm like, dude I am her. It was amusing. But damn, good job Ms. Carlin for spreading the word."

Spencer smiled, "You can thank Amber. I just told her you wanted a party, and bam it instantly happened. So Friday night should be fun." Spencer started to talk but then she spotted Amber heading her way. "So--incoming. You can thank Amber yourself; she's on her way over here."

Amber came over, her face was red, she had tear stains on her cheek, she was still quietly sobbing, "Oh my God. Amber what's wrong?" Spencer got up from sitting next to Ashley and sat next to Amber. She rubbed her back to console her as she spoke.

"Those fucking cheerbitches kicked me off the team. How can they do that? It's my senior year! They kicked me off the team!" She sobbed quietly in Spencer's arms.

"Shh, it's going to be okay. We don't need them anyways. We were always too good for them, weren't we Amber?" Spencer chuckled and then heard Amber laugh at her lame joke. "Hey, I got you to smile. That's a start."

"Yeah, we are too good for them, but it's something we have done ... since forever! That's where we met Spencer, when we first started cheerleading back when we were kids. Cheerleading means something, you know?" Amber looked up at Ashley playing with her food and staring at her, "Sorry, I ruined your lunch Ash. You two looked all happy before I sat down."

Ashley gave a half-smile, "Don't be sorry. It's not your fault your friends are bitches."

Spencer started to wonder, "So why did they kick you off?"

Amber looked up at Spencer, "I tried to get them to let you back on the team and told them that I was your best friend and you shouldn't be put off the team just because you're gay. So they told me, if I am with you then I am gay to them too, so I was as good as kicked off the team. And that was that."

"You didn't have to do that, Amber."

"Yeah, but I wanted to. I didn't think it was right of them to do that to you and plus cheerleading was never as fun when you weren't there." Amber smiled and slowly wiped away her tears.

"Hey, me and Ashley are hanging out later, you want to join us?" Spencer figured she would ask, partly because she felt she owed it to her. _We did used to be best friends._

Amber smiled, "Naw, you too have your fun. Plus, you guys will see enough of me on Friday when we have this party. Now, I am totally ready to get hammered. I can't wait until high school is over. I'll catch up with you guys later." Amber walked away from the table and went into the bathroom.

Ashley and Spencer stared at each other. "So we are hanging out later, huh?" Ashley smirked.

Spencer shook her head, "You can be such a smart ass sometimes."

"But I'm your favorite smart ass, aren't I?" Ashley reached over and grabbed a hold of Spencer's hands.

"So true." Spencer leaned over and gave Ashley a nice long kiss on the lips.

Brittany was walking by with her friends and shouted, "Ew, PDA. No one wants to see that."

Ashley and Spencer both roll their eyes, "So--" Spencer was cut off by the bell ringing, "I'll see you after school by my car?"

"You bet." Ashley and Spencer parted ways.

Spencer arrived in her class and plopped down. She felt extremely happy today. She felt a tap on her shoulder and she knew exactly who it was before she turned around.

"You and your tapping. How can I help you today? Need another pen?" Spencer smiled as she pushed hair behind her ear.

"I wanted to see if you were going to this huge party Friday. At this girl named Ashley's house." Jack smiled as he reached up to play with a piece of Spencer's hair.

Spencer looked at him playing with her hair at first she embraced it, then all of a sudden she felt like she was cheating on Ashley. So she casually pushed his hand away. "Yes, it's actually my girl--girlfriend's house. I'm actually partly throwing the party. I live across the road from her too."

Jack smiled, "Awesome, so I'm going to see you there right? 'Cause I only want to go if I know you're going to be there."

Spencer thought about her answer for a second and she couldn't lie. "Yup, you bet I'm going to be there." Spencer turned around and started to take notes and act interested in the class. She just wanted to avoid any future conversations with Jack for the rest of the class. _It worked._ The bell rang and she jetted out of the class like no tomorrow.

It was the end of school and Spencer headed out to her car where she saw Ashley waiting for her. Spencer couldn't help but smile how hot Ashley looked standing up against her car. She just stared at Ashley's gorgeous body for a while.

"Earth to Spencer?" Ashley waved her hands in front of Spencer, snapping her out of her daze.

"I was just staring at how hot you looked standing against my car. You could totally be a pin up girl." Spencer laughed.

"Oh yeah?" Ashley jumped on top of the hood of Spencer's car and laid there. She turned her head and made different poses as she spoke, "How do I look now? Even hotter?"

Spencer smiled and squatted at Ashley's butt to get her off the car, "Get off the hood. But you look hot no matter what." As Spencer was getting into the car she heard someone yell her name. She turned her head then she saw Jack running towards her.

"Hey, I wanted to give you back your pen that I borrowed the other day." Jack reached into his pocket and handed her the pen.

Spencer looked at the pen, "You ran to give me a pen back? Keep it; I think you need it more than me."

"All right, so I lied. I wanted an excuse to come talk to you. I wanted to see if you wanted to show me around town today?" Jack stood with his hands in his pockets.

Ashley stood by the car and she cleared her throat, making her place known.

"Oh... I actually already have plans. I'll just see you at the party Friday, kay?"

Jack smiled, "Are your plans with her? I don't mind if she comes too."

Ashley gave Spencer a pleading face that she did not want to hang out with him.

"She can't. She has plans with me. I'll see you at my house Friday." Ashley said to Jack as she practically shoved Spencer in the car.

"All right then, I'll see you ladies Friday." He waved bye as Spencer pulled out of the parking lot.

"What the hell was that Spencer? He totally likes you." Ashley felt mildly offended. But she knew people couldn't help but have a crush on Spencer, because she was just so beautiful and sweet to top if off.

"I know, I know. He's just a new guy in some of my classes. I can't be mean, ya know?" Spencer looked over at Ashley and made a sweet face.

Ashley couldn't be mad at Spencer. "Yeah, I know. Just be careful, it looks like he really likes you. And I'm prepared to kick some ass if he tries to steal my Spencer away from me." Ashley laughed a bit, but she was somewhat serious.

Spencer smiled, "No worries, I'm not going to let anyone steal me away. I love you too much." _Although…_


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: All right guys, I'm back from vaca and here is your update. I hope you all like it. Enjoy.**

It was Friday night and it was time for the party every one had been talking about all week long. The party had a huge hype to go along with it, so people were expecting something big. Everyone was expecting to have a great time at the party, but the two people throwing the party weren't exactly having fun.

Spencer stood leaning against the wall nodding her head at whatever Jack was saying. She wasn't paying attention to one thing that was coming out of his mouth. She was there physically, but her mind was elsewhere.

She kept peering around the room looking for Ashley. _I feel like she has been ignoring and avoiding me all night. I don't think I did anything wrong, did I? Did I say something? I can't remember. I'm pretty sure she's just avoiding me for some unknown reason. _ Spencer took another sip of her drink and kept nodding and looking around the room for Ashley.

Ashley grabbed another shot off the table and downed it. She stared at Spencer on the other side of the room. _Damnit, she looks so beautiful tonight_. Spencer's tight jeans rested perfectly on her hips and accentuated her figure perfectly. Spencer was wearing an open back top and gave her the right amount of cleavage. Ashley bit on her lip every time she glanced at Spencer, her beautiful blue eyes, her lips, she looked amazing.

_Damn, Spencer looks amazing. I want... to jump her. I'm so horny and I just want to do all sorts of things to Spencer. But I know she isn't ready and I'd never...never want to force her to do anything. So I just have to stay far away, stay far away from her tonight. Just keep on drinking, hopefully you will pass out soon and you won't have to think about how hot your girlfriend looks. Shit, I just made eye contact with Spencer. I can't keep avoiding her all night, just go over and talk to her. _

Ashley was staring off into space trying to forget her surroundings. She drinking, people were yelling, and fights were breaking out all over her house. She didn't care though; it wasn't getting too out of hand. So she picked up another drink and downed it as fast as humanly possibly. Ashley caught another glimpse of Spencer as she was walking through the house trying to find someone to talk to. _Damn I just want to pin her up against the wall, hold her hands above her head, and..._

"Ashley!" Ashley's thoughts were soon interrupted by Spencer running up to Ashley.

"You have been avoiding me all night, what's wrong?" Spencer took another sip of her drink. She was started to get pretty wasted.

Ashley sighed, she wasn't sure if she should tell her the real reason she was avoiding her all night. "I just--" Ashley was soon interrupted again by Amber running up to Spencer.

"Spencer, I need to talk to you. It's important." Amber tugged on Spencer's arm.

"I'm going to need another drink." She whispered to Ashley. Spencer took two shots off the table and downed them as quickly as possible.

"Go ahead; she obviously has something important to say." Ashley rolled her eyes. Amber had been talking up all Spencer's time all week long.

"Amber I'll meet you up in Ashley's room in like two seconds. I have to talk to Ash for sec, kay?" Amber stormed off and walked up the stairs.

"Oh my God, she has been so needy lately. I'm sorry, if it seems like we haven't been spending quality time together. Sorry about last night." Spencer took her hand and slid it up Ashley's arm, causing Ashley to get a tingling sensation throughout her body. _Oh, how she missed Spencer's touch. _

Spencer and Ashley were supposed to hang out last night and probably fail at having sex again. But Amber called Spencer last night in a tiff and Spencer ran to go see what was wrong with her. Ever since they kicked her off the squad and she lost most of her friends, she has been clinging onto Spencer and Ashley. Ashley didn't mind at first, but it was starting to get annoying. Spencer didn't want to be mean, but she felt like she was going to be brutally honest tonight. Since there was tons of alcohol in her system, she was ready to be honest.

"No, it's fine Spence. Just go see what she wants now." Ashley started to walk away.

Spencer put out her hand and forcefully grabbed her arm, "Hold up, we still have talking to do. I want to know why you have been avoiding me all night. Oh and can you come up and bail me out of whatever problem Amber is digging me into, in about 30 minutes? If I am not back down here in 30 minutes, can you come bail me out with some lame excuse?"

Ashley smiled,_ Spencer hasn't changed a bit_. "Of course. Anything for my Spencer."

Spencer smiled and leaned in and gave Ashley a peck on the cheek. "Don't go too far. We have some uh stuff to talk about later." Spencer winked and licked her lips. There was no talking involved with that she wants to do later.

Ashley watched Spencer walk away. She held the spot on her cheek where Spencer kissed her. She felt as if that spot was glowing and the rest of the room could see. She smiled as she watched Spencer walk into her room. Ashley turned around and downed another drink. She wanted to pass out immediately. She didn't want to talk to Spencer, she didn't want to try and force anything upon her. But she was starting to get sexually frustrated.

Spencer got a drink before entering the room where Amber was. She wasn't ready to be dragged into another Amber problem.

"Thanks for talking to me Spencer." Amber sat on the bed and patted the seat next to her.

"No problem," Spencer said as she closed the door and sipped on her drink, "So what's up? You sounded all serious."

"Yes, I was--am. I need to talk to you about something." Amber crossed her legs and bit on her lip. She seemed nervous.

"Okay, you can talk to be about anything. Come on, spit it out. We have been friends for like ever." Spencer rested her hand on Amber's leg trying to comfort her.

Amber looked at Spencer's hand. She looked at the floor as she spoke softly, "I--I think well I know. I'm in love with you Spencer."

Spencer's jaw dropped. She wasn't sure of what she just heard. Spencer slowly slid her hand off Amber's leg, but Amber grabbed a hold of it. "What did you say Amber?"

"I'm in love with you. I have been for a while now. I didn't know how to tell you and couldn't. I never thought I liked girls until a while ago. We were at practice and you were leading the group as usual and your hair fell onto your face so perfectly, and I thought about how beautiful you looked. From then on I realized that I liked you."

"So is that why you got all weird on me? And stopped calling?" Spencer was now curious.

"I think so. I just, didn't know how to act around you anymore. I think your hot Spencer, and the way you look tonight... I think you could turn any straight girl gay." Amber laughed a little, "I've never kissed a girl before...and I want my first girl to be you." Amber now looked at Spencer, confident in what she was saying. But she wasn't sure how Spencer was going to react.

Spencer forcefully took her hand back and drank the rest of her drink. She was starting to feel all the effects of the alcohol. She was thankful for that. She wasn't sure what to tell Amber at all.

"I'm flattered...but I have a girlfriend. You know, Ashley. I can't and wouldn't kiss any other person. I'm sorry, I can't do that to her and I would never." Spencer slowly got up and walked towards the door, "I think it would be best if we just stayed friends."

"Spencer, I want more than that. I'm not asking you to cheat on her, I just want one kiss. I want to know what it feels like to kiss a girl and you for that matter." Amber got up off the bed and walked closer.

"One kiss is cheating. I'm sorry." Spencer gave her a half smile, trying to show her some sort of remorse. She felt somewhat bad for her. She didn't ask her for this, she didn't want this; she just wanted to be happy with Ashley and not have all this drama on the side.

Ashley came busting in the room, "Spencer, I need to talk to you?" It came out more of a question than a statement. Ashley couldn't think of any excuse, she was beyond drunk. It took her about a half an hour to walk up the stairs to her room. She was stumbling all over the place.

Spencer grabbed Ashley before she fell. "You're drunk. We need to get you to bed or something."

Ashley pushed Spencer's hands away, "No! I'm having fun."

Amber was watching all this and shouted out, "Ashley, I want to kiss your girlfriend!"

There was silence throughout the room and they all kept looking at each other. Spencer looked at Ashley then at Amber then back at Ashley. Amber looked at Spencer then looked at Ashley then back at Spencer. Ashley just kind of swayed back and forth and then finally got up enough concentration to say something.

"Go ahead, maybe she'll kiss you." _Shit that really just came out of my mouth._

Spencer looked at Ashley, "What? What the hell do you mean?" Spencer crossed her arms and stumbled a bit. The alcohol was finally getting to her.

Amber tried to hide her smile. She may get exactly what she wanted.

"You heard me. You have been all, I don't know. It just doesn't seem like you want to kiss me anymore. It feels all forced. I don't want to talk about it. Whatever, maybe you'll kiss her. Seems like you don't want to kiss me."

"That's not fucking it at all, and you know it. Whatever stop making a huge ass excuse, you've been avoiding me all night. You want to break up with me don't you!?!" Spencer yelled. The argument was blowing out of proportion and it was all alcohol caused.

There was no reasoning behind whatever they were yelling at each other. It was just all emotional and alcohol related. They just continued yelling at each other while Amber just stood there and watch while throwing in some random sentences.

--------------------------

Spencer woke up and looked down and realized she wasn't wearing a shirt. She looked over to her left and smiled Ashley was in bed next to her. All of a sudden she felt an arm drape over her from the right. It was Amber's arm, which was now lying across Spencer's stomach. Spencer didn't know how to react. She was trying to recall the night, but it was all so blurry. The last thing she could remember was the big fight that erupted between her and Ashley. She looked under the covers. She was still wearing jeans, so that's a good sign, right? But Ashley was just in her boy shorts and her bra. Amber was just in a t-shirt. Spencer didn't like how she couldn't remember a thing. _Something fucked up happened last night._ She was lying in the middle of Ashley and Amber. Half-naked. Not being able to recollect a thing. What else could go wrong?


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: This chapter is a little short, sorry. I decided to write this chapter instead of doing my essay for my English class, so I figured I should get back to my essay… so I decided to end the chapter at that and post it. I should have another chapter up soon. I hope you all enjoy! Thank you all for the reviews, I really do enjoy reading them all. Enjoy!**

Spencer had a killer hangover and the current situation was making it worse. She slowly slid out of bed and went into Ashley's closet and threw on one of her t-shirts. She looked at Amber and Ashley still lying in bed sleeping. She needed aspirin and she needed it quickly before they woke up. 

She managed to make her way downstairs while walking over random people sleeping on the floor. She walked over some guy sleeping in his own puke. She felt disgusted and kind of bad for him. She saw some guy peeing on some girl's hair. "Oh my God! You know you're peeing on her hair right?!"

The guy looked over at Spencer while peeing and looked down, "Ooop. My bad." He moved over two inches and started peeing on the floor.

Spencer rolled her eyes and found the medicine cabinet and downed a few aspirins. Spencer walked back into Ashley's room and stared at both of them on the bed. She tried to recall what happened last night, but it was all so blurry. _Amber will remember, she wasn't that drunk. I don't even know if she was drinking. I doubt Ashley will remember, she was in worse shape then me. Spencer walked over the mirror and saw a huge hickey on her neck. She ran up the mirror and grabbed her neck. OH my God, Ashley better have caused that. _

Spencer needed to know answers and she wanted to know them now. Spencer walked over and kicked the bed until Ashley woke up. Spencer put her hands on her hips. Ashley slowly awoke gripping on to her head and shielding her eyes from the ever so bright sun light. She smiled at the sight of Spencer. "Morning sunshine. We must have had fun last night, huh?"

Spencer half smiled and then slowly gestured at the other side of the bed. Ashley's mouth dropped and she looked at what she was wearing. Ashley hopped of the bed and fell to the floor grabbing the blanket to cover herself, "Oh my God. Spencer, this isn't what it looks like. I---"

"Stop there Ash. I woke up like two minutes ago...and I was topless lying in between both of you. Now, what the fuck happened last night?"

Ashley scratched her head in thought, "Um I'm not sure Spence. All I know is, I'm half-naked here and I have a massive hangover."

Spencer walked into Ashley's closet and threw some jeans and a shirt at her, "There put those on."

Ashley was putting one leg into her jeans as she talked, "Are you mad? You sound mad."

"Well, Ash, the last thing I remember is our fight. And we have stuff to talk about there, and the next thing I know is I am waking up with you and Amber!" Spencer gestured towards Amber lying in the bed.

Ashley zipped up her jeans and hurriedly threw on the shirt, "I'm sorry about the fight. I barely remember that. It's all so blurry to me; maybe it will come back later today. I just want to know what the fuck happened with all three of us." Ashley walked over towards Spencer and grabbed a hold of her hands.

Spencer immediately let go of her hands. "I don't understand why you think I don't want to kiss you. If you can't remember the fight, I'll let you in on it. You obviously feel that way when you're not drunk, it just came all out last night. Please, tell me why you were avoiding me last night." Spencer pleaded with her eyes.

Ashley sighed and sat on the edge of the bed carefully, trying not to awake Amber. "Spencer, I'm sorry. I was avoiding you last night, because you looked so damn hot. You looked irresistible, I wanted to---" Ashley paused, "I wanted to fuck you so bad last night. And last time we tried, you weren't ready yet. Which I completely understand, and I know it will take time. I avoided you because I didn't want to force you into doing anything, especially while you were drinking. So I figured if I stayed away, it wouldn't be a problem. But look what happened, we woke up half naked with another girl. I'm so sorry." Ashley looked into her lap, unable to make eye contact with Spencer.

Spencer kneeled in between Ashley's legs and lifted up her chin so they made eye contact. "Ashley, you couldn't force me to do anything. And I know you respect my wishes, and I would never expect anything else. Ashley, I was ready last night, I thought I was. I figured we were going to last night anyways. Next time, just talk to me about it. I'm not mad. I love you." Spencer smiled and saw Ashley's eyes light up once she told her I love you.

Ashley smiled, "I love you Spencer. I'm sorry for one second you had to wonder why I was avoiding you." Ashley leaned in and kissed Spencer on the lips. Soon it was another kiss. _And another._ It didn't stop there. But their kisses were soon interrupted by Amber awaking.

"Oh am I interrupting something? Or should I join in again?" Amber smiled as she looked for her clothes around the room.

Spencer wiped her lips off, "Amber what the fuck happened last night?" 

Amber smiled and had a confused look on her face, "You two don't remember last night?"

Ashley and Spencer simultaneously shook their head no.

"Oh. Well, I guess you two are just going to have to think hard." Amber threw on her jeans and went to find her purse.

Spencer got up and grabbed her arm, "Why aren't you telling me? What the hell Amber, if you remember you better say something."

Amber pulled out of Spencer's grip, "I don't know, it's a bit hazy to me too." Amber looked into Spencer's eyes. Spencer knew she was lying, she knew this girl since she could remember. She knew what a lie looked like.

"If you know Amber... you better---" Amber cut off Spencer by putting her finger on her lips.

"Well, maybe this will strike a memory."

"What will?" Spencer asked.

Amber leaned in and kissed Spencer on the lips. She let go of her lips, opened her eyes, and grinned. "Ooh, your lips taste even sweeter today." Amber turned around the leave.

Ashley got up off the bed, "No way. You don't kiss my girlfriend and get to walk out of my house alive." Ashley started walking closer to Amber.

Amber smiled, "You're girlfriend? I'm pretty sure you two broke up last night. So, Spencer's free game, right?"

Ashley and Spencer spoke at the exact same time. "She's not a game." "I'm no one's game."

Ashley walked closer to Amber and clenched her fist.

"Hey, last night was fun you two. How about we do it again tonight?" Amber smiled as she walked out of the door. 

"You took advantage of us, you know. We were both fucking wasted. You know neither of us woulda touched you sober." Ashley smirked, she felt those words were better than a punch.

Amber turned around and glared and gave a wink towards Spencer. Spencer smiled back at Amber, unknowingly. She was slowly starting to remember bits and pieces. When Amber kissed Spencer, she started to remember part of the night where she was kissing her. But she didn't want to tell Ashley just yet, she didn't have all the pieces to the missing puzzle.

"Uh, what the hell. That fucking pisses me off. She won't tell us what happened last night. She kissed you; in front of me...boy does that girl have some balls." Ashley continued ranting about Amber, and then she realized Spencer wasn't paying attention. "Spence? You in there? Boy do I hate that girl."

Spencer shook her head out of her thoughts, "Sorry I was just thinking." Spencer suddenly was remembering the entire night. When Ashley said _hate,_ it sparked at memory of last night.

_"I fucking hate you right now." Ashley said to Spencer._

"What? That fucking hurts Ashley." Spencer turned around and started stumbling away.

"I love you at the same time. I want to just uhhh and I can't because you're not ready and I don't want to push you. But it's so hard." Ashley said as she tried not to sway back and forth.

Amber stood on the side watching all of this.

"No, push me all you want Ashley. I'm ready for this. Come on, do it. Do what you want to me." Spencer stood with her hands on her hips.

Ashley smiled, "don't have to tell me twice." Ashley ran over and pushed Spencer up against the wall. Spencer smiled. Ashley ran her fingers through her hair and started to kiss Spencer on the neck. Spencer opened her eyes and saw Amber watching the entire thing. Spencer looked down and Ashley. She felt amazing, every touch and kiss from Ashley touched the right spot.

Once Ashley started kissing Spencer on the lips, Spencer kissed back. But Ashley pushed her away, "See this is what I'm talking about. It feels forced Spencer. Do you want to kiss me?"

Spencer sighed, "Of course I want to kiss you! Or I wouldn't be! Stop asking me that damnit!"

Ashley let off Spencer. "Kiss her." Ashley took Amber and pushed her towards Spencer.

"You don't mean that." Spencer held up her hands leaving space between her and Amber.

"I think she does," Amber said licking her lips. Wanting so badly to kiss Spencer.

"I do, kiss her Spencer. I want to see if it looks all forced. I mean if you can kiss her... then there must be something wrong with me, right?" Ashley crossed her arms, "Go on kiss her!"

Spencer was mad at Ashley for saying these things. It hurt her to hear it. She couldn't understand what was going on. They were all so drunk, Spencer kissed Amber in spite of Ashley for making her feel so hurt. Spencer continued kissing Amber. She held her head in her hands and whole heartedly kissed Amber with all her might and passion. She had to pretend it was Ashley half the time, but she kissed her, just as Ashley wanted.

"Stop it. I want to get in on this." Ashley pushed Amber aside and started kissing Spencer. Ashley took her hand and slid it inside Spencer's jeans. She looked at Spencer, "I love you. Can I?" Ashley was asking for approval to start fingering her.

Spencer giddily smiled and shook her head yes. Ashley slid her finger in and Spencer smiled and moaned with pleasure and Ashley touched the right spot every time. Amber watched in awe and curiosity. Soon Amber walked closer in the middle of all this and started to join in. Soon Amber and Ashley began taking turns kissing Spencer and each other. It all turned into this crazy threesome and it all seemed as if they were enjoying it.

"Holy shit." Spencer said out loud.

"What is it?" Ashley scrunched her face with confusion.

"I just remembered last night. It all came back to me." Spencer smiled.

"What? What happened? Do I have to go beat Amber's ass?" Ashley started to sit up. She just wanted an excuse to kick Amber's ass. She hadn't liked her from day one anyways.

"We had a threesome." Spencer spoke those words out loud and then glanced over at Ashley to see how she would react.


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: So I was watching Four Brothers and realized I am in love with Mark Walburg and him portraying this gangsta and for those who watched the movie I want to cry every time I see Jack die. But aside from that note… I hope you all enjoy this update. There should be another chapter up by the end of the week. Thanks for the reviews and such. Love ya, much. Enjoy!! **

Ashley stared in the distance for a while, trying to comprehend what Spencer just said. She was trying to remember last night, she was starting to remember bits and pieces but it was all so blurry. She realized she should probably say something to what Spencer just said.

"Oh," were the only words that she could manage to get out of her mouth. 

"Yeah..." Spencer wasn't sure what to say either.

"Are you sure?" Ashley couldn't imagine doing that, _but I was really drunk and really horny...so I wish I could remember it though. Had to of been fun and probably felt pretty damn good. No, don't think like that. Should I ask how Spencer feels about it?  
_  
"Yeah I'm sure. I'm also sure that you told me you hated me last night," Spencer shifted away from Ashley a bit.

"Don't be like that. I'm sure we all said some things that we didn't mean last night. If I could remember last night, I'm sure you said some hurtful things to me." Ashley scooted closer and grabbed a hold of Spencer's hand. She hoped she made a good point, because she really didn't know what else to say.

"It still hurts though. 'Cause I remember you saying it and it sounded like you really meant it. Hurts to hear that, that's all." Spencer sighed, "I probably should head home."

"Why?" Ashley felt mildly offended, "You're parents aren't home. You're mad at me aren't you?" Ashley stood up and followed Spencer.

"No." Spencer looked at the ground as she spoke.

"That's a lie. Don't be mad Spencer. I love you; I don't know why I would ever say that I hate you. I love you with all my-- my everything. I'm sorry, okay?" Ashley hugged Spencer from behind.

Spencer couldn't help but smile and embrace the hug. Spencer turned around so they were face to face. "I love you too." Spencer grinned and embraced Ashley. She kissed Ashley on the lips and closed her eyes. Spencer held Ashley's head in her hands and felt the texture of Ashley's tongue on hers. _She loved that feeling_. Spencer stopped kissing Ashley and gazed into her eyes.

"How about we do this the right way today. Just me and you. On the bed. And let's make a memory we can remember." Spencer grinned as she saw Ashley's expression her face.

Ashley took Spencer's hand and walked backwards to the bed. Ashley didn't want to loose contact with Spencer. She slid her hands up and down Spencer's body. Spencer's senses tingled with every touch from Ashley. Spencer started to giggle once Ashley touched her ticklish spot. Ashley touched it again, tickling her this time. Ashley loved the smile on Spencer's face the tickles brought. She squirmed, laughed, and smiled. Ashley loved it. Ashley held Spencer's hands above her head as she gently kissed and sucked her neck. Spencer gave out a light moan. Spencer smiled, "Stop. Stop." Ashley looked up at Spencer waiting to see what was wrong. "I want to be on top. You've been wanting this more than me. So I'll do you first." Spencer smiled and leaned in and kissed Ashley on the lips and threw her back onto the bed. They whispered their _I love you's_ and continued to have sex.

Just as they were finishing up, they heard a knock on the door. "Who the fuck is that?" Ashley said in a tiff. She was a little bothered that someone was ruining one of the most perfect moments in her life. _She was in bed with the most wonderful and perfect girl in the world._ Ashley threw on some shorts and a tank and opened the door.

"Who the hell are you?" Ashley said with attitude.

"Um...is there food in this house?" The random guy asked.

Spencer thought she heard a familiar voice, so she hurriedly threw on some of Ashley's clothes. She walked up to the door behind Ashley. Spencer rested her hand on Ashley's back. Ashley felt her touch and couldn't help but smile.

"Spencer? Is that you? What the hell happened last night?" The random guy turned out to be Jack.

"Hey, Jack. What do you mean what happened last night?" Spencer scratched her head and started to get nervous. She remembered talking to Jack at the party last night, but she was positive she didn't do anything with him...or so she thought.

"Yeah, last thing I remember is we were talking, then we started making out, and then I puked every where and passed out. We didn't do anything else but kiss... did we?" Jack questioned as he smiled, trying to cover his embarrassment.

Ashley turned around and looked at Spencer, "Yeah, what the hell happened last night Spencer?" Ashley scoffed and walked away.

"Did I saw something to upset her?" Jack was confused to why she just walked away pissed.

"No, she just has a huge hangover. She's not up for talking. I think you should go... I'll see you at school, kay?" Spencer smiled and tried to push him out of the doorway. She had some damage control to do with Ashley.

"Are you sure nothing else happened? I'm sorry if I wasn't acting like a gentleman. I really like you Spencer." Jack smiled and reached out his hand to touch Spencer's face.

She didn't know what to do. She hadn't told him she was gay yet, and she wasn't planning to. "To be honest, Jack, I don't really ever remember kissing you. I was really wasted. But I have to go take care of my friend,"_ Spencer heard Ashley scoffing in the background Friend? Friend?_ "I have to go take care of her, she isn't feeling well. So I'll give you a call later, kay? Okay." Spencer didn't wait for a response and closed the door on him.

She walked over to the bed and sat next to Ashley. "You're mad at me, aren't you?" Spencer placed her arm around Ashley's stomach.

"How could I not be? You kissed him...and to top it off you told him I was just a friend." Ashley pushed away Spencer's hand.

Spencer honestly didn't know what to say. She didn't know how to explain why she just called Ashley a friend. She barely even knew why she didn't tell him that she had a girlfriend. She just looked at Ashley and how hurt she was.

"Now, you know how it feels, Ash." Spencer decided to get defensive.

"What? This isn't---" Spencer cut off Ashley.

"No, this is exactly like earlier. I can't even remember that I kissed that kid and you can't remember that you told me you hated me. I would have to say that we are even." Spencer crossed her arms like she had won.

Ashley debated it. Spencer was right on some level. It's not like she can remember. _We were pretty wasted. This party has turned into one big fucking mistake and a night of unfortunate events._ "Yes and no Spencer. You obviously like this kid for some fucked up reason. I don't know what it is. You won't even tell him that we are dating! That you are gay! I can't begin to even wonder why...so you must like him. You kissed him, and you just don't go around kissing people you don't like."

"So do you like Amber?"

"That's different."

"How so?!" Spencer was starting to get frustrated.

"It just is?" It came out as a question because Ashley barely knew why. She just knew that Spencer kissing Jack felt different. "Whatever. Fine. It's the same. You win. I'm going to take a shower."

Spencer didn't want to argue any more. She couldn't believe how her perfect day with Ashley was turning out so horribly. "Well, I'll go home and do the same. I'll come by later, sound good?" Spencer smiled, trying to force it.

They were both mad at each other, probably for silly reasons, but they felt it was deserved. They just needed time apart to think.

"Yeah, call me later." Ashley forced a kiss on Spencer's cheek. 

Spencer gave a half smile, bowed her head, and walked out of the door. She headed home and sat on her bed. She just needed to talk to someone...anyone who would listen. She dialed the numbers_, "Hey can you come over for a bit? Oh, all right. I will see you in a few." _

"Hey, shh. It's going to be all right Spencer. She will come around and see it your way. I doubt she's even mad. I bet she just needs some time to think. Ya know?" Amber stroked Spencer's hair trying to console her.

"You're probably right. I just needed to hear those words out loud and from someone else. Thanks for coming over to listen to me talk." Spencer smiled and wiped away her tears.

Amber helped wipe away some of her tears, "It's going to turn out, you'll see. You and Ashley are made for each other. In the end, you two will come together. It's just one fight, not the end of the world, right? Plus, Ashley isn't innocent either, she kissed me last night. So see will come around and see your point."

Amber smiled and rubbed Spencer's thigh. Spencer smiled back; she was just trying to be nice. _Amber did come over to listen to me talk and all_. "I still like you, that hasn't changed you know." Amber wanted to put it out in the open. She had feelings for Spencer and she wanted Spencer to return them. She knew her forever and figured Spencer would eventually pick her over Ashley.

"I know Amber. If things were different and I wasn't in love with Ashley...then maybe. But can't we just be friends? I love you as my best friend; can't we just leave it that way? I'd hate to loose you as my friend." Spencer figured it was probably a bad idea to keep Amber as a friend. But they were all so drunk that night why should anyone be held accountable? So she decided to look past it and remember what a great friend Amber was in the past.

Amber smiled, "You don't even want me the least bit?" Amber's tone was somewhat hurt.

Spencer was still upset about Ashley. She couldn't stop thinking about how Ashley was mad at her for something she couldn't remember doing. Spencer wanted to get it off her mind. She doesn't know what possessed her to do what she is about to do. She just wanted to get Ashley off her mind, but instead it made it worse. She figured doing this was going to bring on more guilt, but she did it anyways.

Spencer leaned in and held Amber's head in her hands and kissed her on the lips. Their lips smacked against one another and Amber was passionate with every kiss. Spencer wanted to push her off, but it was somewhat taking her mind of Ashley because she was concentrating on the moment and not her thoughts. But once Amber spoke, "You're an amazing kisser, Spencer." Spencer felt horribly guilty and just wanted her Ashley back. _But I love Ashley, why am I doing this?_


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: All right, I know you guys are probably hating me for the last chapter. I hope you guys like this one. It will get better I promise. Thanks for reading and reviewing and I hope you continue to enjoy.**

Spencer was in mid-kiss with Amber when she decided to finally push her off.

Amber smiled, "What you need a breather?' Amber said catching her breath.

"Yeah, forever." Spencer wiped off her lips, trying to get the taste of Amber off her mouth.

Amber leaned in to kiss Spencer and Spencer leaned to the side and refused the kiss.

Amber looked confused. "What's wrong?" She asked as she touched Spencer's hair.

Spencer pushed away her hand, "Stop. I can't do this and I'm not going to."

"Why? I know we were both enjoying it, Spence."

_Uhh. Only Ashley can call me that._ "Yeah well, that's not the point. I love Ashley. I'm not doing this anymore. And we can't be friends...since every time we hang out you are going to confess your undying love for me. So please, just leave." Spencer got up and looked out the window at Ashley's house. She smiled at the sight of Ashley's house.

"But...I want us to be together." Amber said quietly, but she meant it.

"I'm sorry. That can't and won't happen. I have a girlfriend. I really am sorry." Spencer turned around and looked Amber to see if she was hurt.

"I'm sorry too. I'll go, like you asked. But you know, when you come around I'll be waiting." Amber smiled and walked out of the door.

_Wow, that was easier than I thought. I figured I was going to have to shove her out the door. I don't know how I am going to tell Ashley what I just did. Or should I? She's already pissed at me; maybe I shouldn't make it worse._

Spencer sat on her bed thinking about how her and Ashley's relationship is going to survive. She figured she better tell her or else she would feel too guilty. As Spencer had her hands above her head staring at the ceiling a knock on her door emerged. She smiled at the thought it was going to be Ashley. "Come in," She shouted from her bed.

"Still sleeping, darling?" Her mother asked as she walked around her room picking up random clothes sprawled across the floor.

"No, mom. I was just lying here. When did you get home?" Spencer didn't bother to move or help her mom clean her own room.

"Just a few seconds ago. Oh I ran into Amber on her way out, I invited her to come to dinner later tonight. She said she would be by around eight or so." Paula smiled, "I'm happy you two are hanging out again. I always liked her."

"Why did you ask her?" Spencer got offended and didn't want Amber coming to dinner, because Ashley was supposed to come over later.

"Why not, honey? She is your friend, isn't she?" Paula walked around the room throwing dirty clothes into a hamper.

Spencer rolled her eyes, "But Ashley's coming over."

Paula stopped and looked at Spencer and forced a smile, "Then I'll set a plate for her too."

Spencer realized she wasn't going to win this fight. She was going to have to deal with have Amber and Ashley at the same dinner table. "Fine. What time is dinner?"

"Around eight or so. Well, I'm off. I have things at the hospital to take care of then I will be back to make dinner." Paula smiled and closed the door.

Spencer wanted to take the pillow and cover her mouth and scream into it. She wasn't sure what she was going to do. All she knew was that no good could come of this dinner. Spencer heard her mother leave and she was somewhat relieved. She decided to hop in the shower and clear her head.

As soon as she got out of the shower she heard someone ringing her door bell. She quickly wrapped a towel around her body and ran down the steps. She swung open the door.

Ashley smiled and looked at Spencer, "That's how you open the door? In a towel?"

Spencer smiled, "Only for you." 

"Well, are you going to invite me in? I need to talk." 

"Oh yeah, sorry, come on in." Spencer made a motion and Ashley came walking in.

"I'm sorry about freaking out on you earlier. But I want you to stop talking to that kid." Ashley demanded as she sat down on the couch.

Spencer was kind of shocked but she understood where she was coming from. She decided not to put up a fight, since she was still feeling guilty about kissing Amber.

"Okay, done." 

"Really? That's it?"

Spencer shook her head, "Yeah. If it will make you happy, then yes. I'll run to the end of the Earth and back if that's what you wanted."

"Wow, I didn't think it was going to be that easy. I had the whole fight planned out and every thing." Ashley was astonished at how quick and easy that was.

"So you're not mad at me anymore?" Spencer asked innocently.

"No, I'm sorry for freaking out on you. I should have understood. We all did some crazy things that night. But that night is over, and now it's just us."

Spencer grinned, "So you wouldn't be mad at me if," she was about to tell her that she kissed Amber but she decided against it. She didn't want to screw things up. She figured she would tuck that kiss away with that night.

"If what?" Ashley questioned.

"If...I dropped my towel?" Spencer grinned as she was slowly inching her towel down off her chest.

Ashley walked closer and held Spencer's head in her hands, "I'd be anything but mad."

Ashley took Spencer to the couch and threw her down. Ashley straddled Spencer's naked body and leaned in to kiss her. Their lips smacked together like an unstoppable force. Ashley stopped kissing Spencer to take in how beautiful she looked. "You really are amazing Spencer." Spencer smiled, felt a tad bit guilty, but continued kissing Ashley.

Paula soon walked in the front door, "I decided to go shopping for tonight's food instead of going to work." Paula shouted as she walked into the living room. She dropped her grocery bags on the floor once she saw what was happening on her couch.

"OH my God mom." Spencer struggled to shove Ashley off her and find her towel.

"Spencer, I think you should cover up. And young lady, if you insist on doing this sort of thing in my house keep it in your bedroom." Paula said as she walked over to Spencer's towel, picked it up, and handed it to her. Paula tapped her foot. Spencer shyly grabbed her towel from her mother's hands.

"Don't be shy Spencer. I am your mother after all, there's nothing I haven't seen before." Paula smiled, "Uh Ashley the least you could do it help me clean up the groceries I dropped on the floor."

Ashley stared at Spencer then at Paula. She wasn't sure what to do. She stood shocked that Spencer's mom was acting to weirdly. She didn't freak out, or anything. Paula snapped Ashley out of her daze by snapping her fingers.

"Why Ashley, I don't have all damn day. I have a dinner to cook for you and my family. So hurry up here." Paula walked into the kitchen as she grabbed a bag off the floor.

Ashley quickly shoved the food back into the bags and handed them to Paula in the kitchen.

"Girls be ready and decent by eight!" Paula shouted from the kitchen.

Spencer took Ashley's hand and they scurried up the stairs into Spencer's room.

They both stared at each other in confusion and awe over what just happened.

Ashley finally decided to say something, "Uh, um that was weird."

"That's the understatement of the year." Spencer crossed her legs and held up her arms to her chest. She still felt violated that her mother saw Ashley on top of her.

"Yeah sorry. So dinner should be interesting, huh?" Ashley smiled as she played with Spencer's hair.

Spencer decided to break the news now, "Amber's coming too."

Ashley stopped touching her hair immediately followed by, "What?"

"Yeah my mom invited her." Spencer gave a half smile.

"How did she do that? Why?" Ashley was confused.

"Well, my mom caught Amber leaving our house and invited her."

Ashley looked at Spencer, "And why was she over here?"

Spencer sighed, "I needed to talk to her. Well, I needed someone to talk to about our fight we had. I was upset when I left your house earlier and she was the only person I could think of to call. I'm sorry, but she's been my friend since grade school and I needed someone to talk to." Spencer looked at Ashley seeing how hurt she was.

"Oh, well maybe I shouldn't come to dinner then."

"If that's what you want." Spencer wasn't sure what to say.

"I uh what? You don't want me to come to dinner, is that it?" Ashley was feeling unwanted.

"No, no, no. That's not it at all." Spencer couldn't hold it in any longer. "I kissed Amber when she was over here earlier."

Spencer looked in her lap; she couldn't even make eye contact with Ashley when she said that.

"What? How could you?" Ashley got up off the bed and started pacing around the room.

"I don't know. I was upset, she was coming on to me, and the next thing I know, and my lips are on hers. I didn't want her the least bit, Ashley." 

Ashley was sick of the fighting. She was sick of fighting with Spencer. It seems that's all they had been doing the past couple days. She didn't have anything left to say, she had no more in her to fight back.

"Fine, what do you want me to say to that? I don't like it the least bit. I'm sorry you felt like you had to kiss her. I'm mad at you. I will be able to forgive you with time. I'm still coming to dinner." Ashley just got all the things off her mind without taking a breath. The words came out kind of robotic, but she meant every word.

"Oh, okay. I truly am sorry." Spencer sat on the bed about to get up and walk over to Ashley.

"Can we just lie here on the bed and not talk for once? I just want to lie here with you, like we used to. Not talking." Ashley lay down on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

Spencer opened her mouth to say something, but since Ashley didn't want to talk she figured it was best not to. She laid there and stared at the ceiling. Paula barged into the room, "Time for dinner girls, Amber is here. Spencer, would it kill you to put on clothes? I'm sure Ashley prefers you without clothes, but it'd be nice if you threw some on." Paula said her remarks and walked out the door.

Ashley smiled at Spencer, "Wow, you're mom sure doesn't like me."

"You're talking to me now?" Spencer said as she threw on a jeans and t shirt.

"Yeah I can still be mad at you and talk. 'Cause you know I'm still mad right?" Ashley said as she stood in Spencer's door way with her arms crossed.

"I'm sorry. How many times do I have to say it?"

"Until you mean it." Ashley responded.

"Come on, were going to be late for dinner," Spencer said as she grabbed Ashley's arm and dragged her down the stairs to the dinner table.

"Hey Spencer---and Ashley?" Amber said confused to why Ashley was there at dinner. She figured dinner was going to give her more time to win Spencer over.

"Hi Amber." Spencer smiled.

"Hey," Ashley said while giving her a keep-your-nasty-skanky-hands-off-my-girlfriend-looks.

"Your father should be joining us any minute. Let's say grace in the meantime. Who would like to say grace? Amber? Ashley?"

"I'll say grace Ms. Carlin." Amber blurted out. She wanted to beat Ashley at anything tonight. She wanted to prove to Spencer that she was better than Ashley in any way.

"That was such a wonderful grace, Amber. You should come over for dinner more often like you used to." Paula smiled and started to eat her food. "Why did you ever stop coming over, Amber?"

"Oh, I don't know. I just had a boyfriend and he took up all my time. But that's all over now. I'll be over all the time, you will be wanting to get rid of me again, Paula."

"Oh you're silly. I love having you over." Paula chuckled as she drank her wine.

Amber kept trying to play footsy underneath the table with Spencer. Ashley angrily gripped onto Spencer's hand under the table, making her place known to Amber.

Spencer closed her eyes, wished she was elsewhere and only with Ashley, and was not in the mood to eat. _Three was definitely a crowd._


	32. Chapter 32

**A/n: Enjoy.**

Dinner finally came to a close and Amber, Ashley, and Spencer were all sitting in the living room staring at each other. Paula and Arthur were off in the other room drinking their wine getting heavily intoxicated.

"So Spencer, I have these concert tickets next weekend for Jack's Mannequin, you want to go with me?" Amber didn't care that Ashley was in the room.

Spencer's eyes lit up it was one of her all time favorite bands. But Spencer immediately calmed herself, because she knew she couldn't go with Amber no matter how much she loved that band.

"_No_, she doesn't." Ashley answered for Spencer. Ashley spoke with a pure bitch tone. 

Spencer slowly sunk farther down into her seat. She saw a fight brewing between Ashley and Amber.

"I wasn't asking you. Spencer do you wanna go?" Amber asked again as she sat on the edge of her seat looking into Spencer's blue eyes.

Spencer hated this. "Y--No, I don't. Thanks for the invite." Spencer quickly looked over at Ashley to see if she heard her almost say yes. _Please tell me she didn't hear that yes in my voice. Please, please, please. She's already pissed at me enough. If she knew I wanted to actually go to the show, she'd kill me or worse break up with me. If she knew I actually liked Amber, she would for surely never talk to me again.  
_  
"See, she doesn't want to go to that stupid concert...especially with you." Ashley crossed her arms and clenched her fists. She hated Amber for trying to steal away her girlfriend and she had every right to. "I'm going pee; will you be okay out here by yourself?" Ashley didn't want to leave Spencer alone with Amber, but she couldn't hold in her pee any longer.

Spencer smiled, "Yup, I'm good." 

Ashley leaned in and gave Spencer a long kiss on the lips and Amber turned her head away and couldn't bear to watch. After Ashley was done kissing Spencer, Ashley turned her head and gave Amber a ha-ha-she's-mine-bitch glare.

Once Ashley closed the bathroom door, Amber leaned in to whisper to Spencer. "You want to go to the concert don't you?"

Spencer winced and reluctantly said, "Yes, but I can't. Ashley would... I can't."

"What you're girlfriend won't let you hang out with your best friend since grade school?" Amber said with a smile. She reached over to hold onto Spencer's hand but Spencer backed away.

"I'll think about it, okay? Just don't tell Ash I said that got it?" Spencer really wanted to go to the concert. But she was afraid that this concert may cost her, her relationship. _So was it worth it?  
_  
Amber smiled. She figured she was already half-way to winning over Spencer. "My lips are sealed."

Ashley came walking out of the bathroom and Spencer stiffened in her seat and slide back into it. "I think you should go, Amber." Spencer said as Ashley sat down next to her.

Amber gave a smile, "Yeah, I should head out."

"And never come back." Ashley added.

Amber stood up, grabbed her purse, and started to walk out. But then she turned around to say one last thing, "Look. Ashley, I'm not out to get your girlfriend, okay? Let's get one thing straight, I just want my friend back. I hate to loose Spencer, she's been an amazing friend over the years. I see the way you look at her Ashley. I see the way you two are so in love. I see how happy you two can be. I just hope I find someone who loves me back just as much as you love Spencer. I'm sorry if I ever upset or hurt you Ashley. I'll be going now. See you guys in school. I'll let myself out." Amber didn't wait for any response and walked out the door.

Ashley and Spencer just sat in awe of what Amber just said.

"Damn Amber is about as fake as Pamela Anderson's tits. I don't trust that bitch one bit." Ashley poured out. She believed Amber for a slight second when she was giving her speech but then she realized Amber would never say something like that without a hidden agenda.

"She means well. She's just confused and she doesn't know who or what she wants and she doesn't know the difference between friendship love and our kind of love Ash." Spencer was slightly sad that she may have just lost one of her childhood friends. _Why do I feel so guilty that Amber is gone? Well, guilty probably isn't the right word and I don't know what is. But why do I not want her out of my life? She just makes things worse between me and Ashley and I don't want that. _

"Why are you defending her? That's my question." Ashley scooted away from Spencer and turned to look at her.

Spencer didn't have an answer for her. She wasn't sure why she just defended her. "I uh--- I don't know. I didn't mean for it to come out that way. I just feel bad for the girl that's all."

"Well you shouldn't." Ashley sighed after she spoke. She was tired of talking about Amber. It feels as if she has been their main topic of conversation the past couple days and weeks for that matter. "I'm done talking about her. Can't it just be us for once?" Ashley started tearing up.

"Hey, baby, it's going to be okay," Spencer said as she rubbed Ashley's back. She didn't expect Ashley to get teary-eyed over the entire situation, "This is all going to blow over and it will be perfect like it used to be." Spencer smiled and leaned in to kiss Ashley on the cheek.

Ashley nodded her head and leaned it on Spencer's shoulder. They curled up on the couch together and sat in silence listening to Paula laugh in a drunken stupor in the other room.

No words needed to be spoken the silence was somewhat helping their situation. They both just sat and took in each other.

"Hey, I probably should get home. I still have a huge party mess to clean up before my dad gets home." Ashley adjusted out from under Spencer and started getting her things ready to leave.

"You can stay the night if you want. Or I can come over and help you clean up, yeah that sounds like a better idea. You want me to come over?" Spencer got up and started to look around for her stuff so she could go over to Ashley's.

Ashley really just needed time to herself. She needed time to breathe, think, and just to be alone. "No, thanks. But I think I'd rather just go home and get some rest, alone." Ashley gave her a half-smile and got her things together and started walking towards the door.

"I love you, Ash." Spencer didn't know what else to say. She could tell Ashley was still upset, but she knew it was understandable. _I did just kiss another girl, so just give her space. She will come around, and not be mad at me any more. Right? I fucking hope so._

Ashley turned around and gave Spencer a peck on the cheek, "I love you too."

"I'll call you tomorrow, kay?" Spencer said as she held the door open.

Ashley shook her head yes, "Sounds good."

Spencer didn't shut her front door until she saw Ashley close her front door. Spencer sighed and headed up to her room. She threw off her clothes and threw on shorts and a tank. She was ready for bed, after such a long day that she thought would never end.

Spencer was worried things wouldn't pan out like she hoped. She was worried that she would loose Ashley and she knew it would all be her fault. Spencer slid open her night stand drawer and looked at her stash of pills. She stared at them for a good long minute and shook her head no and slammed the drawer shut. _No, you're stronger than that Spencer, don't do it._ Spencer knew the pills would put her mind to ease like they used to but she knew she had to resist them. Because if she gave in again, she wasn't sure if she could come back. _The pills were easy and life was the exact opposite. _

Spencer rolled to the other side of the bed, refusing to cave in and ease her pain. She took her phone and dialed some numbers.

She spoke softly into the receiver, "I'll make up some excuse, and I'll figure something out, whatever. Don't tell Ashley. I've made up my mind; I'm going to go with that concert with you."


	33. Chapter 33

**A/n: Enjoy.**

"You can't call me this much Amber. I want and still will be your friend, but don't call me so much." Spencer sighed into the phone.

"Why not? I just need to talk. It's not like I'm calling you a hundred times a day. I'm only calling you like three or four times a day." Amber smiled on the other side of the phone. _Amber loved talking to Spencer; it brought a smile to her face._

"Yeah I know, but Ashley doesn't understand why I'm still friends with you, she doesn't like you, and she doesn't want me talking to you. So just try and keep the calls to once or twice a day, kay?" Spencer lay on her bed while talking to Amber.

"I'll try, I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, just try and do what I ask. I'm tried of fighting with Ashley over you, defending our friendship and how it's nothing more. I'm tired of fighting with her and how she doesn't trust me. I told you about our last fight and how huge that was." Spencer hated thinking about this, but she knew she didn't want to give up her friend. If she gave up Amber as a friend, the only person left in her life would be Ashley. And she needed someone else to talk to keep sane.

"Yeah, sorry I caused that for well just being me. So how are you going to tell Ashley about you coming to the concert with me this weekend?"

"I'm not sure. I already tried before, so I don't know. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I got to go, Ashley's coming over soon. I'll call you later, bye." Spencer hung up the phone barely waiting for Amber to say bye. Spencer rested her head on her pillow and thought about her and Ashley's last big fight.

_"No! You can't go with her to the concert!" Ashley slammed her books down onto the table and slammed her door._

_"Ashley, I'm not asking you for your permission, you're not my mom. I'm telling you, that I am going with her." Spencer walked over to Ashley's bed and sat down._

_"You can't go, Spence. Don't you see this girls plan?" Ashley slammed her fist into her books._

_"No, I don't actually, why don't you tell me." Spencer didn't understand why she couldn't hang out with a friend._

_Ashley sighed, "You're hot Spencer and I know you know that, for one. But sometimes you don't think that other people like you. And all Amber wants is to get in your pants! She wants to steal you away from me and she wants to fuck you!" _

_Spencer shook her head, "Ashley, you know, this wouldn't have been such a problem if I already hadn't fucked her! Oh and so have you! Whose fault is that, oh right yours! You shoved her on me, and I can't help it she got a taste of something she liked and wants more. But she's been my fucking friend forever!" _

_"That's so not the point. If you know she still likes you that way, why do you hang out with her? I don't trust her, one bit."_

_"But can't you trust me?"_

_"I don't know anymore, Spence."_

_"That's fucked up, Ash. You can't trust your own girlfriend? You can't trust your own girlfriend? It's not like I've done anything for you not to trust me." _

_"Well, you know. You want to hang out with a girl who's trying to break up our relationship, makes me wonder why you would want to hang out with someone like that. So evil and vindictive. So it makes me fucking wonder if you want her too." _

_Spencer was done talking about this. She was extremely hurt that Ashley doesn't trust her, "You keep on thinking that, see how far our relationship survives. I'm going to go home; I'll talk to you about this concert thing another time. I'll talk to you later after we both cool off." Spencer grabbed her purse and walked out the door. She leaned in and kissed Ashley on the cheek before she left. She was mad at her but it felt wrong leaving without a good bye kiss._

Spencer thought about the fight and she didn't know how she was going to bring up the concert again. This was their first time hanging out since that fight erupted, which was a long two days ago. She heard her doorbell ring and ran down to answer it.

Spencer opened the door, "Hey, Ash. You know you don't have to ring the bell anymore. You can come in and come up to my room." Spencer smiled.

"Yeah, I know but it felt weird with the way we left things the other day. So here I am, ringing your doorbell."

"Come in, hungry?"

Ashley grinned, "Depends, what's on the menu?"

Spencer playfully pushed Ashley, "When isn't sex on your mind Ash? But seriously, hungry for actual food?"

Ashley smiled, "We can order in? Pizza? I'm totally craving pizza."

"That's a done deal." Spencer went into the other room and ordered the pizza then plopped down on the couch next to Ashley. "They said they'd be here in like thirty minutes. So want to watch a movie down here or in my room?"

"Probably down here, because I have already got comfy on this couch." Ashley patted the spot next to her, "You know would be more comfortable? If I had a shoulder to lean my head on."

Ashley smiled and Spencer came over and sat next to Ashley. It felt as if things were back to normal and they didn't just have a major fight two days ago. Spencer didn't want to bring up the fight and neither did Ashley. They were both worn out from all the fighting they have been doing, the just needed a night of peace and laughter. They were ready to just leave everything in the past and get back on track like the way things used to be.

----------

It was the day of the concert and Spencer was getting glammoured up to go. She put on her cutest jeans and her favorite faded Jack's Mannequin t-shirt. She didn't know why she wanted to look her best but she did. She curled her hair and was all ready to go. She looked over at Ashley's house to see if she was home, and she was. So she knew she had to be sneaky about it. She already gave Ashley an excuse, _"Yeah Ash, I have to go to this fundraiser Saturday with my parents and my mother and father are making me go. So I guess we can't see that movie after all like we wanted. But maybe we can hang out later that night, I'll be home late, but we can always spend the night together."_

Spencer gave some last thoughts about lying to Ashley about what she was doing. She knew it was wrong, but she wanted to go so bad and Ashley wasn't going to let her go willingly. So she figured the only way she could go was telling a little white lie. "Amber I'll meet you at your house. You can't pick me up because Ash will see you car, so I'll be over there in like thirty. Bye."

Spencer was just about all ready for the concert when she heard her doorbell ring. Spencer ran to her bedroom window and looked down, and saw it was Ashley. _Shit! What I can't wear this, she'll know!_ Spencer ran to her closet and threw off her jeans and tee. She found a skirt and a dressy shirt and threw it on, so it looked like she was going to a fundraiser.

Spencer ran to the door, "What's up, Ash?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to see you before you left. I'm gunna miss you." Ashley kissed Spencer on the cheek as she walked in.

Ashley was making it harder for Spencer to leave for the concert, knowing she told Ashley a lie about what she was doing. "Hey, we're on for later tonight right?" Spencer asked innocently as she held both of Ashley's hands swaying back and forth.

"For sure, I can't wait. Where are you parents?" Ashley looked around the room.

"They are already there. I'm meeting them there, I'm already running late. Later right?" Spencer asked again.

"I'll be waiting for ya." Ashley kissed Spencer a few times and finally let go and walked back to her house.

Spencer and Ashley were finally back to their normal selves and Spencer hated the fact that she had to lie to Ashley. Spencer shook it off and changed back into her concert clothes. She dashed out the door and headed to Amber's house so they can hopefully attend the best concert...ever.

Spencer walked up to Amber's door and before she could knock Amber whipped it open. "Damn, you look hot." Amber said as she leaned in and hugged Spencer.

"Thanks, you don't look too bad yourself." Spencer half-smiled.

"Hey, we're running late. But want to get high for old times sake?" Amber reached in her pocket and shook a bag of weed in front of Spencer.

Spencer and the rest of the cheerleading squad were avid smokers back before she met Ashley. Every day after practice they used to ride around the back country roads and toke up. Spencer thought about the invitation that Amber was dangling in front of her, and she figured what the hell.

Spencer smiled, "That better be good shit." Spencer grabbed the bag out of Amber's hand and smelled the pot.

"Only the best right?" Amber smiled as she was throwing on some last minute make up, "Felt like things haven't changed from what they used to be right?"

Spencer took a hit and held it in as long as possible. She answered as she was coughing out the smoke, "You bet." Spencer held out the pipe for Amber to take ah hit off of. Amber walked over to Spencer looked into her beautiful blue eyes and straddled on top of Spencer as she slowly took the pipe out of Spencer's hand. "Hey, well we should get going. We can finish this on the car ride there, I'm driving right?" Amber said as she threw on a jacket.

"Yeah, you can drive." Spencer grabbed her purse and walked in front of Amber and hopped into her car.

"Excited?" Amber looked over at Spencer as she was driving.

"Totally. These are my five songs that if they play all five of these, I may just die...Rescued, We Were Made For Each Other: Part 2, Dark Blue, Last Straw, Meet Me at my Window, and The Mixed Tape."

"You already have five songs picked out that you must hear? You're crazy, but I love ya." Amber reached into her back seat, "Oh yeah here. I got us some alcohol, drink. We are going to make this night a night we are never going to forget." Amber took a swig of the drink then handed it Spencer.

"Uhh, you so totally shouldn't be drinking if you are going to drive me." Spencer took the drink took a sip and made a grimacing face, "You know I don't like beer." Spencer finished chugging the rest of the drink; she tossed it out the window. She didn't like it, but she needed something to ease her nerves. She still felt guilty for lying to Ashley and going to the concert.

"Hell yes, I've got my Spencer back!" Amber jittery clapped in her seat, "Spencer, remember the time we took the sip of our first beer?"

Spencer smiled. This is why she didn't want to stop being friends with Amber. She had so many memories with Amber, they could practically write a book. "How could I forget?" Spencer chuckled, "I spit it all over the couch at my house and you puked! And then we cleaned it off the couch and then just flipped over the couch cushions. Good times."

Amber laughed while driving the car. They kept reminiscing in the past and things felt like normal. They talked and laughed, they were enjoying each other's companies and Spencer didn't feel guilty for hanging out with a friend.

"We're here! Ready?" Amber asked as she had one foot out of the car. "Want something more to drink? Pack another bowl?"

"I just want to enjoy this concert...as sober as I can. Then after we can party it up," Spencer said that without realizing she had a date with Ashley after the concert.

"Awesome. Here let me help you out." Amber held out her hand to help Spencer out of the car. Spencer gave her, her hand and Amber helped her out and shut her door. Amber immediately shoved Spencer up against the car and began kissing her. Spencer felt a weird connection with Amber all night so she forcefully and whole fully kissed back. Amber slid her hand up Spencer's shirt and Spencer suddenly remembered she was doing something wrong. "St-" They continued to kiss, "-op" Spencer said.

Amber stopped and looked up at Spencer, and then she gave her another long kiss before she asked her, "What's wrong?"

"This. I just want to enjoy this concert as friends...please we need to stop doing this." Spencer looked down, "Um can you get your hand out from under my shirt?" Spencer smiled and tried to be the nicest she possibly could.

"Yeah, sorry. I just---you looked amazing and I thought you wanted it too. Sorry." Amber was embarrassed because she thought she felt some connection and clicking they were doing.

"No, it's fine. Come on Andrew McMahon is waiting for us to start the show," Spencer chuckled; she only wished he was waiting on her. Spencer held out her hand and Amber grabbed a hold of it. Strangely they walked hand in hand until they got into the concert venue. Spencer let Amber hold her hand the entire way in, she didn't know why, but she didn't mind it one bit.

Spencer sang every word to every song at the top of her lungs. She did her best to try and crowd surf but it didn't happen. She always dreamed of crowed surfing to the stage. Spencer danced, sang, she had an incredible time, and the concert was better than she imagined it would be.

The concert came to a close and Amber and Spencer were heading back to the car. "Damn that was such a good concert. I can't wait for the next one!" Amber shouted.

"We're so going. I'm so there!" Spencer excitedly clapped.

Amber started the car and then reached into the back seat. "Hey, look what I got." Amber shook a bag of pills, "My friend gave me these pills and said they would totally fuck us up and make us have a good time."

Spencer looked at the pills. Amber didn't know Spencer had an addiction problem to them and Amber was swinging temptation in her face. Spencer felt guilty for lying to Ashley and to top it off she kissed Amber. She felt guiltier about not feeling guilty that she kissed Amber. Spencer reached over, grabbed the bag, and downed two pills. "I hope your friend is right."

"Hey pass me some," Amber held out her hand and waited for Spencer to give her the pills. Amber downed two pills also. "So, let's head back to my house."

Spencer finally got back to Amber's house and the pills were doing the effects Spencer hoped. She wasn't feeling a thing. She enjoyed that feeling; she remembered why she started taking those pills in the first place.

"Hey, you wanna stay over? Drink?" Amber smiled.

Spencer was about to say no, but she figured alcohol was going to be a great combination to the pills. "If I drink, will you drive me back home?" Spencer wasn't even thinking about Ashley at the moment.

"Hell yes. Spencer Carlin, we are going to get you wasted." Amber smiled. Spencer and her walked into the house.

---------------

Amber helped Spencer out to the car as they kissed a few times on the way there. "So remind me why I have to take you home?"

"My parents don't know I'm out. They are expecting me. Ash thinks I'm coming home. I just need to get there." Spencer said as she buckled herself into the seat.

"Fine, all right. I just want to let you know, I had an amazing time with you tonight and I wish it would never end." Amber said as she started the car and headed to Spencer's house.

"Me too. I feel the same," Spencer wasn't sure if it was the alcohol/pill combination talking or she really felt that way.

"Oh shit," Amber saw Ashley sitting on Spencer's door stoop half sleeping.

"What?" Spencer looked around.

"Oh nothing. Let me help you out of the car." Amber wasn't sure what she was going to do when she brought Spencer up to the door.

Amber helped Spencer out of the car and Amber wrapped Spencer's arm around her shoulder to help her walk. Ashley immediately awoke by the car door slamming. Spencer and Amber continued to walk closer to the door and to Ashley.

"What the hell is this?" Ashley stood up and walked towards Spencer.

Amber tried to attempt to answer, "Uhh ---- I -----Uh." Amber didn't know what to say.

Spencer smiled, "Ashley!" Spencer stumbled up the Ashley and gave her a hug.

"You went to the concert didn't you? I can't believe you lied to me. Amber what did you to do her? Why can she barely walk? What did you fucking give her?!" Ashley was pissed off and worried at the same time.

"Nothing, she just drank a lot. Oh and she took some pills...Xanex to be exact." Amber shrugged, "What's the big deal?"

Ashley shook her head, "The big deal is...the big deal is...just get the fuck away. She had an addiction problem with pills, damnit! Just leave! I'll take care of her." Ashley helped Spencer walk towards the door.

Amber felt extremely bad after she heard that and spoke softly, "I didn't know..."

Ashley rested Spencer up against the door and Ashley walked close to Amber and got in her face, "Well, you would have known if you were a good friend, now wouldn't you of? You would have known, if you actually gave a flying fuck about Spencer instead of being too concerned about stealing her away from me and trying to get into her pants. So I'll take care of her, like I usually do. So just back off. You've done enough for one night, Amber."

Ashley turned around and walked off in a hurry to help Spencer up to her room. Ashley laid Spencer on her bed and shook her head. She was disappointed in her. She couldn't believe she had lied to her. She didn't know what she was going to do. She was livid but at the same time she was worried for Spencer. Ashley was going to stick by her side all night long and take care of her. _But once Spencer wakes up, she wasn't sure what was going to happen._


	34. Chapter 34

**A/n: I know you all probably hate me right now, and I completely understand. I just want you all to know if you stick around for these non-spashley chapters you surely will be satisfied in the end. **

**Enjoy.**

Spencer woke up with her head throbbing and she looked over and Ashley was sitting on the edge of her bed. "What are you---" Spencer stopped talking and remembered the night, she didn't have to finish her question, "Oh."

Ashley didn't smile she just looked out the window while speaking, "How are you feeling?"

"Better. Thanks for---" Spencer was immediately cut off.

Ashley only needed to hear those words come from Spencer's mouth. "Good, I'm glad you okay. Because if you weren't I don't think I could do this."

Spencer sat up on her bed and twirled her fingers, "Do what?"

Ashley stood up, turned around, and crossed her arms, "I think you know, but I'm going to go ahead and say it. Spencer, you lied to me. Plain and fact, you lied to me and girlfriends don't do that to one another. You lied, you took pills, and you probably kissed her too for all I know."

Ashley paused for a second to just stare at Spencer. Spencer didn't say a word; she knew she had to take whatever Ashley dished out. Simply because every word she said was true. Spencer didn't have an argument, because there was nothing to argue.

Ashley continued to speak, "We're done, Spencer. I stayed the night to make sure you'd wake up. I stayed by your side all night to make sure you were okay. I took care of you, but this is the last time. You need to figure out what you want, get your stuff together, because I can't be dragged down with you. I love you and I will always be there for you, but I can't right now. Not when you are like this. I'm sorry, but this relationship is over."

Ashley tried to hold her tears back, they were forming, and they were forming strong. She couldn't hold them in any longer, the silence was killing her. The tears started to flow down her face.

Spencer looked down at her lap and twirled her fingers. She could barely look at Ashley in the eyes, let alone at her. She didn't want to break up, but she didn't know how to contest it. She had tears forming but she held them back as long as she could.

Ashley couldn't take the silence any longer she spoke through her tears, "You going to say anything...at all?" Ashley sighed afterwards.

Spencer looked up at Ashley tears ran down her fast. She could tell how hurt and disgusted Ashley was with her. She heard the tone in her voice. It was no longer the caring, sensitive, beautiful tone she took with her. It was a tone she never heard before and a tone she never wanted to hear again. Spencer hurt and she didn't know what to say to make Ashley's hurt go away. That's all she wanted to do was to make Ashley's hurt go away. 

"What do you want me to say? That I'm sorry? I am. I really am sorry. That I don't want us to break up? I don't, I want us to be together more than anything. But if I was you, I'd break up with me. I made stupid choices, I lied to you. I don't know what more to say to you. I'm sorry. I wish I could take your hurt away. It hurts me to know that I am the cause of your pain right now. So if you need to take time away from me to alleviate your pain... I understand." Spencer looked into Ashley's eyes, searching for an ounce of hope in her eyes. She was hoping that she had said that right words that won Ashley back instantly. But Spencer kept looking into her eyes and all she saw was hatred and disappointment.

Ashley shrugged, wiped her continuous flowing tears, and started to walk away. Spencer was expecting some sort of response back; she couldn't leave it like that. She couldn't let Ashley walk out of her life without saying three last words. Spencer got up and stood in front of her bedroom door and looked Ashley directly in her eyes. She held both of her arms, "I love you. I'll never stop. I want you to know that. I never meant--"

"That's it, you never meant to hurt me, and you never meant to do anything. That's your problem, you never mean anything, but you always end up doing something, don't you?"

Spencer's face immediately sunk, "I love you. Can't that be enough?"

Ashley shook her head no, "It's not enough, if you don't mean it." Ashley sighed and held Spencer's head in her hands, "I never wanted it to come to this, and I never wanted to break up with you. I can't let you lie to me, I won't stand for that. I do want us to be together again, I love you Spencer. I just can't be with you right now. With someone who lies and possibly cheats on me. I have to go." Ashley let go of Spencer and walked out of the door.

Spencer turned around, "When will I see you again? When can we talk again?" Her tears flowed as fast as a waterfall. _This was actually happening._

Ashley gave a half smile, "I don't know." _And there she went._ Ashley walked out of Spencer's life, possibly forever, as far as she knew.

Spencer walked back to her bed and curled up in a ball. She held her pillow tight as if it was Ashley and began sobbing loudly. She couldn't believe she screwed up the best thing that ever happened to her. She was determined that she and Ashley were going to get back together. She wasn't going to give up on their relationship. Spencer was confused right now in her life and Ashley couldn't handle someone being confused. Spencer needed to get her crap together and figure out that Ashley is who she truly wanted.

Spencer heard a knock on her door. She lay in bed; she was too weak to get up. She tried yelling, "Come in!" but it came out more as a whisper. She hoped it was Ashley, but she knew it probably wasn't. Amber came around and sat next to Spencer. Amber rubbed Spencer's arm as she talked, "Hey, everything okay? Your mom let me in. I brought you coffee. Probably have a massive hangover, huh?" Amber held up the coffee and showed Spencer then realized this was more serious then a hangover. So she set the coffee on her night stand.

"Hey, Hun, what's wrong?" Amber tilted her head so she could look into Spencer's blood-shot eyes, from crying.

Spencer closed her eyes for a second and thought. She sighed before speaking, "Ashley broke up with me. She --- yeah---broke up with me." Spencer could barely form words, she was too distraught.

Amber rubbed Spencer's arm to try and console her. "I'm sorry, Spencer. What you want me to do? Go kick her ass?" Amber slightly chucked, trying to get Spencer to smile. Then she realized that was a bad joke.

Spencer was barely listening to Amber speak, "No, no. You don't have to do anything. You've done enough. If you'd lay here with me, that'd be nice."

Amber smiled and crawled on the other side of Spencer and lay next to her. Amber draped her arm over Spencer and held her close to her body. Amber hoped it would help, and hope Spencer would realize she had a new girlfriend already awaiting her company. Amber didn't want to rush Spencer into anything, but she was ready to wait for her. She wasn't going to rush things, but she was certainly going to make her thoughts and feelings known. 

"Spencer---" Spencer cut Amber off.

"I know. You love me. You want to be with me. I can't deal with this right now. Talk to me again in a couple of days." Spencer wiped away her tears_. I'm wiping away my tears that my girl--ex-girlfriend just caused, how can she bring this up already? Why did I screw up what I had… for Amber? Damnit, what have I done?_ Spencer knew she didn't love Amber like she does Ashley, but she needed the company until Ashley came around.


	35. Chapter 35

**A/n: Enjoy.**

It was the first day back at school since Ashley had broken up with Spencer. She had been crying all weekend long. She hasn't eaten a thing since it happened, she barely even moved out of bed. Amber was a frequent visitor and came in and out to check on Spencer, make sure she was doing somewhat okay. Spencer threw on make up to cover up the fact that she had been crying all weekend long. She wanted to cry as she was putting make up on in the mirror.

She hadn't looked in a mirror all weekend. She realized when she saw her own face in the mirror the only person she saw looking back was Ashley. She saw so much of Ashley in herself and it hurt knowing that Ashley wasn't there anymore. Spencer closed her eyes, took a breath, and kept applying make up.

"Hey, I'm picking you up today, byotch. So be ready in like ten. I'm already on my way, so you can't say no." Amber hung up the phone and wanted to surprise Spencer.

_Okay?_ Spencer said into the phone but no one was on the other line. She simply shrugged it off, threw her phone on the counter, and looked herself in the mirror_. Come on, you can do this today. It's just school right? It won't be that bad, right? Just avoid Ashley at all costs...unless she wants to talk to me, which I totally doubt. What could I say to her?_ Spencer stopped thinking to herself; she realized it was only going to make her start crying again.

A few minutes later, Spencer heard honking in her driveway. She grabbed her books off the table and ran out the door. She smiled at Amber, because she knew she was trying her best to make her feel better. Spencer hopped into the car and smiled, "Ready?"

"You bet. Look what I bought you! Donuts!! You're favorite, chocolate filled donuts!" Amber reached in her back seat and gave Spencer a dozen chocolate cream filled donuts.

Spencer smiled, "I can't eat a dozen..."

Amber laughed, "I've seen you do it before! Plus, you have to eat something; you haven't eaten since...all weekend. Eat something, for me?" Amber smiled, gave her best convincing face, and took a donut out of the box and danced it in front of Spencer's face.

"Fine, fine. Just one, I don't think my stomach can hack more than one." Spencer bit down into the donut and made a satisfying 'ahh' noise as she chewed, "I sooo miss these. Maybe one more."

"That's my Spencer." Amber laughed, "All right, on the way to school." Amber pulled out of the driveway and zoomed off.

Spencer thoroughly enjoyed her doughnut, which distracted her from staring at Ashley's house.

They pulled up in the school parking lot, "Thanks for the donuts." Spencer said as she was shoving another one down her throat.

"No, problem. I could have gotten you two dozen..."

Spencer playfully punched Amber, "Shut up. I'm not that fat."

"Hey, meet me by the car at the end of the day and I'll give you a ride back home." Amber said as she leaned in and kissed Spencer on the cheek.

Spencer smiled. She didn't know what to say or do. She didn't mind the kiss on the cheek, but she didn't necessarily want it. Spencer rubbed her cheek and watched Amber walk away. After Amber walked away, Spencer saw Ashley walking by. Spencer was leaning on Amber's car and Spencer knew how it looked.

Ashley walked by Spencer, barely making eye contact_. Had it come to this? I can't believe she's pretending not to see me. _Spencer watched Ashley's every step. Ashley turned to Spencer as she was walking by the car, they were less than ten feet away from each other, "Looks like you're new girlfriend drove you to school today, huh. That was quick." Ashley said and continued to walk away, not stopping for a second. _Okay, maybe I would have rather her pretend I didn't exist...that would have hurt less.  
_  
Spencer sighed and walked to class with her head hanging low. She refused to make eye contact with anyone on the way to class. She found her classroom, found her seat, and quietly sat down. Spencer didn't talk to anyone throughout the day she just went to her classes and quietly sat in her seat. Not raising her hand to answer a question, refusing to do any group activities, she just wasn't in the mood to socialize with anyone.

She was in class when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She definitely wasn't in the mood to deal with Jack. She promised Ashley she wouldn't talk to him ever again, but since they were broken up she turned around to see what he wanted. "What?" She asked.

"So, I was thinking...want to go to prom with me?" Jack blurted out.

Spencer was dumbfounded; she couldn't take this at the moment. Usually she would just laugh it off and think of something clever to say, but she really had nothing. No quips today. "I can't." Spencer said.

"Why not? You dating someone? You are going with someone else already?" Jack questioned as he dumbly grinned.

Spencer looked up at his green eyes, "No..." She could actually say no, when he asked if she was dating anyone. She said no, because she really wasn't dating Ashley anymore, and she didn't have the energy to lie to him.

He smiled, "There, then you don't have an excuse. It's your senior year; you have to have a hot date, and who better to have on your side than me? It's a done deal. We're going to prom together." Jack smiled then stared at the board and started taking notes.

"But--"

"No buts, Carlin. Turn around, sit your cute little but in the desk, and take notes." Jack tapped his pen on his notebook as he talked.

Spencer did what he said, but she wasn't taking notes. She was thinking of a way to get out of going to prom with this kid. She couldn't believe this was one more problem to add to her weekend. _Ashley breaks up with me, Amber's still trying to be my girlfriend, and now Jack asked me to prom with him, what more could go wrong?_

Spencer darted out from class and headed to lunch. She stared at all the lunch tables, wondering where she was going to sit. She saw Ashley sitting at a table, alone.

She didn't see Amber anywhere, and she didn't know where Amber was going to sit. Amber had been sitting with her and Ashley ever since she was kicked off the squad. Spencer sucked it up and started walking towards Ashley. She figured what the hell, she was already having a horrible day and Ashley always made it better.

She kept walking closer to Ashley and Ashley was just blankly staring at whatever book she was pretending to read. Spencer was close enough to say something, but then Jack whisked her away. He slid his arm through hers, "Hey, why don't you have lunch with us today?" Jack looked over at Ashley, "Oh right, were you going to sit with your friend...Ashley right?" He looked over and Ashley and she gave a nod and a disapproving look.

Spencer winced she looked over at Ashley then back at Jack. She didn't know what to say and she was wondering how hard it was for Ashley to see her standing next to the guy she promised to stop talking to. She did stop talking to him but she just started as soon as they broke up. She didn't want Ashley to think that she lied the entire time about him.

"Ashley, did you want to sit over with me today? You two are invited and I'd really love it if you came to sit with me, Spencer." Jack smiled.

"Jack, I have to talk to Ash for a bit. I'll meet you at the table in a bit." Spencer shooed him away, she couldn't walk away from Ashley without letting her know that she never broke her promise about talking to Jack.

Ashley looked up at Spencer. Spencer looked at Ashley, "Can I sit?"

"You're going to anyways, so why bother asking?" Ashley's tone was harsh.

"I won't bother you that long. I just wanted to let you know, that I never broke our promise."

"What would that promise be?" Ashley looked at Spencer in the eyes.

"When you asked me to stop talking to Jack...I did, I stopped talking to him. He just came up to me today. I just wanted to let you know that I never talked to him when we were still dating. I never lied about that. I never lied." Spencer said that out loud. She knew as long as she told it to Ashley, she would feel better.

"I believe you," Ashley did believe her. She could see Spencer's eyes glossing over and she could tell her in facial expressions that Spencer was being completely honest.

Spencer reached out her hand and grabbed Ashley's. "Thank you. I just wanted to let you know, I never lied about that. The only thing I---" Ashley cut off Spencer.

Ashley took her hand back, "I don't care. I can't hear it, Spencer. I just need time to think, okay? Just...please go."

Spencer sniffled and took a deep breath, "Oh, okay, no problem. I'll leave you alone."

Spencer got up and walked away towards Jack's table. She sat next to Jack and nodded to whatever he said. Spencer sat directly across Ashley and she never took her eyes off her. She didn't care if Ashley caught her staring, but that's all she could do. She just stared at her for the rest of lunch. She faked laughs when she thought he was making a joke. She forced a smile the entire time she sat there.

The school day came to a close and Spencer was thinking it wasn't as bad as she thought it was going to be...it was worse. Spencer was standing next to Amber's car waiting for her to take her home. "Dude, I've been standing here for like ten minutes. What took you so long?"

Amber was unlocking the car, "Chill, I had to go back and get a book I forgot. Sorry, next time I'll remember to tell you I'm going to be late."

_If there is a next time._ "Whatever, I'm ready to get out of this place. Take me home." Spencer said as she sat down in the car and buckled up.

"You got it, Carlin." Amber threw the keys in the ignition and pulled out of the school parking lot. Amber turned up the music and drove Spencer home. Once they got in the driveway, Amber lowered the music and began talking. "Want company?"

Spencer smiled and debated about it for a while. "Sure, why not." Spencer didn't see the harm; Amber was only trying to help her feel better. After all, they had been friends since the beginning of time.

"Awesome," Amber turned off the car and hopped out. Amber looked over at Ashley's house and saw Ashley staring at her through the window. Amber smiled at Ashley and walked over to Spencer.

"What are you smiling about?" Spencer asked.

"Oh nothing, come on, get your stuff, let's go inside." Amber looked back one more time, looking at Ashley watch them. Amber placed her hand on Spencer's back and guided her into the house. Spencer pushed her hand away off her back, "Stop...Ashley might see."

Spencer threw her books down on the floor and slowly walked up steps and plopped on her bed. Amber crawled onto the bed with her. "How are you holding up today?" Amber said as she lay next to Spencer.

Spencer sighed, "Better, I guess. It still hurts like hell and I don't think it will ever stop hurting." Spencer truly believed that. She felt she'd always be hurting until she got Ashley back. And if she never got Ashley back, which she feared, she felt a part of her would always be missing, and she'd never be as happy as she once was.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Amber whispered, "It will get better, I promise. In the mean time, I know something that will make you feel better." Amber crawled on top of Spencer, and straddled her. Spencer barely smiled, she barely registered any emotion.

Amber leaned down and kissed Spencer on the lips. Spencer just laid there barely kissing back. "Come on Spencer, I know you can kiss back." Amber said as she leaned in again.

Spencer kissed back this time; she was trying to get Ashley off her mind. She didn't have to feel guilty for kissing Amber this time, since she was a newly single girl. She kissed back and then took Amber and threw her on the bed. Spencer began straddled Amber. Amber chuckled, "ooh, you don't know how long I've been waiting for this." Amber whispered as she sat up and pressed her lips against Spencer's. Spencer didn't know why every time she pressed her lips against Amber's, Ashley's face came to mind, but she continued to do it.

"I love you, you know that, right?" Amber said in-between kissing Spencer's stomach.

Spencer rolled her eyes, "mmmhm, don't stop. Keep going." She just wanted Amber to shut up and let her enjoy this moment.

"You feel the same way, don't you?" Amber looked up at Spencer as she was unbuttoning and taking off her jeans.

"Mmhm. Can we not talk?" Spencer was starting to get irritated. She was just using Amber to fill the void in her life, she didn't want to date Amber, she didn't want a relationship, and Amber was just...there.


	36. Chapter 36

**A/n: Enjoy. Part of this chapter was inspired by Caitiedids. I hope you all enjoy.**

It was a little over a month after Spencer and Ashley's break up and nothing much had changed. Ashley and Spencer were on talking terms now, but they didn't talk or see each other every day like they used to. They both wanted too badly, but Ashley still wasn't sure if she could trust Spencer fully yet.

Spencer lay in bed with Amber by her side. Amber held Spencer in her embrace, but Spencer wasn't comforted by it. She wished it was Ashley's arms wrapped around her.

"Spencer?" Amber spoke, ruining the moment yet again.

"Mmmhm?" Spencer didn't feel like talking. Amber's voice made Spencer cringe with annoyance.

"Spencer, it's been a month. You haven't committed to a relationship, you haven't asked me to be your girlfriend, and you haven't told me you loved me. I've asked you to be my girlfriend plenty of times and every time you say you're not ready. I've told you that I love you plenty of times, and you never return it. Why? I'm starting to get tired of this." Amber professed and then slowly slid away from Spencer and sat up on the bed.

Spencer rolled her eyes, sat up, and began searching for her clothes. "What do you want me to tell you? To make you happy?"

"That you want us to be together." Amber said as she slid on her shirt.

"That's the thing; I don't want us to be together. The only girl I have ever loved has walked out of my life and I'm starting to fear she's never going to walk back into it! I do love you Amber but not in the way you want me to and I'll never love you that way." Spencer sighed as she slid on her jeans.

"Then what have we been doing these past weeks? We've spent nearly everyday together, had sex most of those days; I mean what are we doing? If you can't ever love me, then why are you keeping me around?" Amber stood up and started pacing around the room.

Spencer was numb to the fighting. She didn't feel a thing. She didn't feel an ounce of remorse, guilt, or happiness. "You've been around...to keep me company?" Spencer did not have an answer, so the answer she did have came out like a question.

"This is fucked up. I can't do this anymore then, I won't. I won't let you use me then." Amber started gathering her things, "I'm leaving. I'm not going to keep you company any longer."

_Good_, she thought to herself. "You forgot your cell phone," Spencer tossed it at Amber, "You're going to need that when you call me in a day saying your sorry and you want my company again."

Amber scoffed, "Whatever," and walked out of Spencer's life.

_Finally, got rid of her. She's been clingy lately and I don't want her around. Now, I can just concentrate on winning Ashley back_. Spencer looked out the window and checked to see if Ashley was home. She threw on a cuter outfit and threw on some quick make up and ran over to Ashley's house.

She knocked on her door and waited for Ashley to answer. She knocked and stood on her porch for a good five minutes. Spencer walked back home kicking gravel. She plopped on her couch and soon dozed off.

Ashley was home the entire time Spencer was knocking at her door, but Spencer didn't know that. Ashley saw Amber leave in a tiff a few minutes before Spencer came over. Ashley assumed something went sour and Spencer was coming over because she didn't get what she wanted from Amber. Ashley wasn't going to automatically be there once Spencer finally got rid of Amber; she was going to make Spencer wait a little. Ashley was dying to get back together with Spencer. The break up had been hard on her too, and Spencer didn't realize that. Every night for two weeks Ashley cried herself to sleep, wishing Spencer was there to comfort her. But she knew she had to let Spencer go, so she could get her shit together. _I think I can trust her now. We've been talking again and I know she still loves me and wants me. I think it's time for us to be together again...soon. _

------------

"Spencer, honey, wake up," Paula pushed on Spencer to wake up.

"What? What?" Spencer said infuriated.

"I have bad news..." Paula said as tears were forming.

"What? What is it? Is it Ashley?" Ashley was always her first thought. Spencer sat up, she figured this was serious.

"It's Amber..." Paula sat on the couch next to Spencer and wrapped her arm around her shoulder.

"Well?! What about her?!" Spencer needed her mother to spill the beans and not beat around the bush.

"She uhh came into the hospital earlier; she must have been speeding, driving fast, upset about something, and not paying attention..." Paula sniffed, "She ran a red light and a car struck the driver's side..."

Spencer's face dropped and she put her hand up to her mouth, "Oh my God...mom...please tell me she's okay."

"I did the best I could...there was so much blood, everywhere. She didn't wear a seat belt...there was blood every where and she...I did the best I could Spencer...she didn't make it." Paula began sobbing loudly.

Spencer started crying. She felt relieved at the same time hearing those words, and then she felt bad that she was relieved that Amber was actually dead. _She was my best friend...I can't believe she's gone.  
_  
"Uhm mom?"

"Yes sweetie?" Paula sat as she wiped her tears away with a hanker chief.

"Pinch me." 

"What?"

"Just do it. Pinch me."

Paula did as she asked, she figured it was some sort of grief stage she was going through, "There, I pinched you."

"Damnit. This is real." Spencer wanted her mom to pinch her to see if this horrible day was all just a big nightmare, but it wasn't. It was in fact true as the Earth was round.

"Yes, honey, it is. What could she been so upset about that she ran a red light?" 

Spencer realized what it was, "Me. I killed Amber. We got in this fight...and she left...upset. Oh my God mom!" Spencer hugged her mom and rested her head in her mother's chest and wept.

"No, no, Spencer. It's not your fault, things like this just happen to good people. Amber lived a good life; this must have been her time honey." Paula kept saying whatever she could think of to console her daughter. Paula held her in her arms and tried to soothe her daughter's pain the best she could.

"Honey, I invited Amber's parents and older brother over our house later. I figured they could use the company and help with funeral plans." 

Spencer gave her mom a disgusted look, "I can't believe you. Just because her father is a huge campaign contributor doesn't mean you had to go and do that! Mother, maybe they just want to grieve on their own! And what, I expect you want me to talk to her older brother, who I haven't seen in years? You're so pathetic mother." Spencer got up to walk away.

"Amber was like another daughter to me! You better take that back. She was over here every day when you two were growing up, it was only until recently she started coming over again. She was like another daughter and you were like another daughter to them! I'm trying to help them grieve, so put on a dress, wash your face, and get your act together because you are being civil, you are being nice, and you are going to give your condolences." Paula walked over to the mirror and wiped away her tears, fixed her hair, and started to apply make up.

A half hour later and Spencer walked down her steps and saw Amber's parents in the living room. All she wanted to do was go see Ashley. She needed to talk to Ashley, but she knew Ashley didn't want to hear about it.

She walked into the living room and gave Amber's parents a hug along with their older son, "I'm so sorry for your loss." Amber's mother nodded her head and sniffled and gave Spencer a light kiss on the cheek, "I'm sorry you had to loose you're best friend also. I just wish I knew why she ran a red light, and didn't wear her seat belt. Did you talk to her? Do you know why?"

Spencer couldn't take the twenty questions. Spencer was starting too feel guiltier about the whole situation. She felt guilty that she may have caused her being upset and caused her to not pay attention to the red light. But she felt even guiltier that she barely cared.

_Spencer was emotionally numb._ "I have to go. I'm truly sorry about Amber." Spencer ran out the door and sat on her door stoop and just started bawling. She didn't know why she was bawling, if it was because of Amber, seeing Amber's mom in that shape, or because Ashley wasn't around to tell her "Every thing is going to be okay, it wasn't your fault." Ashley said out of nowhere and sat next down to Spencer and gave her a hug.

"Where did you come from? How did you--"

"Your mom called me and told me what happened. I'm sorry to hear about Amber." Ashley rubbed her back.

"Thanks for coming over, and no your not." 

"Not what?"

"Sorry."

"I am, I'm sorry you had to loose your best friendandgirlfriendorwhatever." Ashley said the last part so fast it sounded like one word.

Spencer sprung up, "She was never NEVER my girlfriend, and I want you to know that. Never, I've only ever wanted you."

"Then why did I see her over here almost every day?" Ashley shook her head and realized it wasn't the time to be asking questions like that, "It doesn't matter; you just lost your childhood best friend."

"It does matter. She was just over to keep me company. Yeah, I did use her for sex but she was just there to keep me company. I know that was probably hard to hear. But you're the only girl I have ever loved and will ever love." Spencer wiped away her tears.

"It doesn't matter. I can see, I'm only making your hurt worse, I'll go." Ashley began to sit up but Spencer immediately pulled her back down.

"No, don't go _please_. Even given the circumstances, this is the best I've felt all week. Being next to you, knowing that you still care." Spencer rested her head on Ashley's shoulder and quietly wept until she finally stopped crying.

Ashley ran her fingers through Spencer's hair and just held Spencer. "Oh and Spencer, I never stopped caring."


	37. Chapter 37

**A/n: All right, sorry guys for the delayed update. Work consumed me whole this weekend, boy do I hate my job. And I sprained my knee (thank my sister for that one), so it's been tough getting to the computer and having time to write. So this is it guys, I hope you all enjoy.**

"I'm better now, I'm stable. So can't we be together?" Spencer stood before Ashley on her porch. "And when did you start smoking?"

Ashley inhaled her cigarette and then exhaled, "I needed something to press up against my lips, since you weren't around." Ashley smiled and continued to smoke.

"Well? I'm ready, you can trust me." Spencer leaned in closer pulling on Ashley's jacket. Spencer had been going through therapy sessions for the past several weeks since Amber's death. Ashley convinced Spencer to go to a therapist because of Spencer's mental breakdown/freak out.  
_It was the first day back at school since Amber's death and Spencer was dreading it. She climbed to her car and forced her way to school. She saw every one staring at her until she saw Brittany. She looked at Brittany and she was crying. She was holding Amber's old cheerleading outfit in her hands as she sobbed. Spencer became infuriated. _

Spencer walked up to Brittany and grabbed the uniform out of her hands and threw it on the ground. "You have no right to be crying!"

"Excuse me?" Brittany said as she wiped her eyes.

"You heard me damnit! You have no right to be crying! YOU caused Amber's death! If it wasn't for you forcing her out of the team she wouldn't have had to hang out with me! She would have been perfectly normal and fine if you didn't kick her off the squad! This is all your fault damnit!" Spencer said as she lunged at Brittany and started wailing on her. Spencer clenched her fist and her knuckles met Brittany's face. She pulled back her arm and did it again. Spencer felt good. She continued to yell, "This is your entire fault!" As she punched Amber a few more times.

Ashley saw everyone crowded in a circle. What's going on here? Ashley thought. Ashley heard Spencer's voice screaming and Ashley immediately shoved her way through the crowd. "Oh my God! Spencer what are you doing?!?" Ashley grabbed a hold of Spencer and dragged her off of Brittany kicking and screaming.

"Let me go! Let me go! It's all her fault!" Spencer screamed.

Ashley threw her on the grass, "What's her fault? Cool down Spencer! You about punched that poor girl into a bloody pulp. Is everything okay?" Ashley said standing concerned.

Spencer stood up with her arms flying, "No I'm not okay! I caused my childhood's best friend's death, I was blackmailed, I was kidnapped, almost raped, stabbed, the whole world found out I was gay, my mother's a psychotic bitch, and that's not all... Jack asked me to the prom. So NO ASHLEY, I'm NOT okay!" Spencer fell down and held her knees to her chest.

Ashley quickly sat by her side and held her, "Spence, I think you should look into getting some help. Talk to a therapist or something? Because at the rate you're going, I don't think you're going to make it out sane. You're going to end up hurting others or worse yourself. And I can't let that happen." Ashley smiled a bit trying to make Spencer feel better.  


Ashley was glad Spencer went through with the therapy sessions like she asked. Spencer was finally back to her normal self. Ashley threw the cigarette on the ground and pushed Spencer up against her house. Spencer smiled wide and leaned into Ashley's lips. Their lips met for the first time in months. Their lips met and it felt as if their lips were permanently attached. They didn't want to let go of each other ever again. Spencer kissed Ashley's neck and she could feel her breathing on her shoulder. Spencer got goose bumps feeling Ashley breathing on her shoulder. She missed the feeling. They quickly made their way up the stairs into Ashley's bed.

Ashley was holding Spencer in her arms as they both smiled. Their faces shined as bright as the glistening sun. Ashley looked into Spencer's soft blue eyes and smiled. She tucked a stray hair behind her ear and gave her a slight peck on her cheek. Spencer blushed and her smile turned even brighter. "I love you," Ashley whispered.

"I have to ask you something." Spencer said as her voice shook. 

Ashley immediately grew stiff, "What, what is it?" 

"Tomorrow, is Matt's sentencing...will you come with me?" Spencer looked at Ashley, with fear in her eyes.

"You scared me, I thought ---whatever. Of course I'll come with you, that's what girlfriends do, isn't it?"

Spencer smiled, "Girlfriend? Girlfriend, huh? So that's a yes, right?"

Ashley rolled her eyes, "Yes it's a yes. I'll come with you tomorrow and yes I'm your girlfriend."

Spencer leaned in and kissed Ashley on the lips. After she kissed her, she wiped off Ashley's lips and hopped off the bed. "I'm going to get dressed. Let's go get food. I'm starved."

"Haven't you ate enough already?" Ashley grinned.

Spencer's mouth dropped and she threw a pillow at Ashley, "You're so bad." Spencer crawled on top of Ashley and whispered in her ear. She gave Ashley a peck on the lips and hopped off and started searching for her clothes.

"You're getting dressed? After what you just whispered? What? No, no, no, come back to bed." Ashley pulled Spencer by the hips back on the bed.

Spencer smiled and turned around, "Gotcha."

Ashley smiled and shook her head, "You're such a tease sometimes, Carlin."

"Yeah...but you like it." Spencer nodded and started to kiss Ashley.

It was the next morning and Spencer and Ashley had not left the bed. They had some serious catching up to do, and they caught up all day and throughout the night. They didn't leave each other's embrace for more than a minute throughout the day. "I love you; don't go anywhere, ever again. You'll never know how much I missed you when we weren't together." Ashley spoke those words as they woke up.

Spencer grinned, "Stop. You make me feel bad every time you say that. I missed you too, but we're back together, let's just think about the now. I love you."

Spencer's phone rang and it was Paula. She rolled her eyes, "Yeah mom? I know, I know. I'm at Ashley's. We're coming. Well, I'm coming home to change but Ashley's going to drive me there, okay? But mom, she's taking me separately deal with it. Bye, okay, bye." Spencer tossed the phone on the bed.

"I take it we have to start moving?" Ashley stretched and yawned. "Aren't you glad we graduate from school in a week?"

"Uhh, yes finally. Then it's whatever from there. Hey, okay. I'm going to my house to change and then I'll come back over and you better be ready." Spencer threw on her clothes and jetted out the door.

"Spencer, you're leaving?" Ashley made a sad face and her eyes grew wide.

"I'm going to be right back! It's only going to be like ten minutes and then we get to see how long Matt's sorry ass if going to be behind bars." Spencer leaned on the bed and kissed Ashley bye.

"Still I'm going to miss you every second you're gone." Ashley smiled.

----------

Ashley gripped onto Spencer's hand tightly as the judge announced Matt's sentence.

"You hereby are sentenced to three months confined to a mental health institution. The bailiff will take you away, and you're sentencing will start today."

Matt turned around, nodded, smiled, and winked at Spencer.

Spencer's mouth dropped and she immediately stood up, "That's it? That's all he gets?! For kidnapping me and trying to rape me!!" Spencer shouted. Ashley tried to pull her back down to sit, but she refused.

The judge tapped his gavel, "Young lady another word out of you and I'll put you in contempt."

Spencer darted out of the court room and fell to her knees. Ashley quickly darted by her side. "Shh, honey. It's going to be okay. I'm here. At least he got something, right?"

Paula dashed out of the court room, "Your father and I are going to do some serious talking with this judge. He's always hated your father, we will see if we can up the charges. Spencer come home with me, we have some talking to do." Paula pulled at Spencer's arm.

Spencer sniffled and sobbed. Ashley looked at Paula and then at Spencer, "Spence, do you want to come home with me?"

Spencer smiled and held Ashley's head, "Sweetie, I'm going to go home with my mom. I have to talk to her about this whole Matt thing. I'll come by after okay?" 

"You sure?" Ashley looked into Spencer's blue eyes.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I'll be over later, kay?" Spencer said as she leaned in and kissed Ashley on the cheek.

Spencer walked off with Paula and they headed home. 

"Mom what am I going to do? He's going to be out in what three months? He's going to come after me, I know it. I'm never going to feel safe knowing that he is out and he can attack me whenever he pleases." Spencer wiped the tears streaming down her face.

"This is what we're going to do." Paula spilled out all the details to her plan and Spencer nodded with every word she said. Spencer was surprised at how cool and collective her mother was. She couldn't believe she actually liked her mother's idea and she couldn't believe she actually wanted to do it. She shook her head and Paula kissed her on the cheek. "Now, go upstairs and start packing."

Spencer didn't disobey and she scurried up the stairs and started packing. Spencer looked out her bedroom window for a split second and couldn't believe she was leaving this small town of Ohio where she grew up all her life. Spencer wiped her tears away and continued shoving clothes in suitcases and duffel bags.

Ashley came storming in the room, "I started worrying once you didn't come over----wait, what's going on? Why are you packing?"

Spencer was stunned and looked up at Ashley, "I---uh---I'm moving."

Ashley started tearing up, "You're leaving, because of that asshole Matt? Spencer, were you even going to tell me?"

Spencer got up off the floor, "No," Spencer took a deep breath, "I was going to ask to come with me." Spencer grabbed a hold of Ashley's hands and held them to her chest.

Ashley smiled, "Well, where are we going?"

"I'm moving to my uncle's. As soon as we graduate next week, my mom is shipping me on a plane to Los Angeles. My uncle owns a mansion out there and he said he'd be happy to have me. So I'm going to find a job and some small college to go to. I can't be around here when Matt gets out of jail, I won't feel safe...he said that he'd be back for me. So this is my answer, starting a new life out in L.A and I want you to come with me, I want you to be with me in my new life. I don't think I could do it without you. So, will you?" Spencer stood before Ashley, hoping she would say yes with all her heart. She looked into her brown eyes searching for an answer.

Ashley wiped away some of Spencer's tears and gave her a kiss on the forehead, "I'd thought you never ask. I would love to come with you, Spencer. I love you." Ashley hugged Spencer tightly with ever muscle in her body.

"I love you." Spencer smiled held Ashley close to her heart. She was never going to let go of Ashley.

Ashley pulled out of the hug and looked at Spencer's blue eyes, "Spencer, whatever the future brings, how unstable it may become...just remember that I'll always be that constant in your life."

**En Fin.**

**A/n: I hope you all enjoyed the story, and I thank you guys for all your wonderful reviews and I'm so happy you guys stuck it through and kept on reading. Thanks for all the feedback I've been getting. There possibly may be a sequel, but that is up to all you readers and the feedback that you guys leave. So I'll be looking forward to your reviews. Lots of love to everyone.**


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